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Kalisha Lokar [Human Squire]
#1
Player: Herastean

Character Full Name: Kalisha Lokar

Character In-Game Name: Kalisha

Nickname(s): N/A

Association(s): Church of the Holy Light, Izshani

Race: Human

Class: Paladin (Squire ICly)

Age: 22

Sex: Female

Hair: Long black hair

Eyes: Green

Weight: 160 lbs (0.95)

Height: 5'5" ft (0.95)

Usual Garments/Armor: Her equipment is a complex, expansive but extremely efficient mix of defensive and offensive pieces.

Her harness is only composed of plate and mail, this last one replacing plate on sections which are requiring to be mobile. It present very few defaults and roundels would be reinforcing her shoulders and elbows.

Her helmet is a sallet with a visor, coupled with a heavy gorgerin, making it extremely efficient though impeaching the young lady to turn her head around. It'd be almost impossible to find a weak spot on her helmet when she's standing. When up, the helmet and gorgerin hides everything but her eyes.

Her main weapon is a poleaxe, a combined hammer, pike and axe. This complicated, heavy looking weapon has a wooden base and would make her efficient though slow to strike.

Last but not least, on her side would be attached a small scabbard, containing a Misericorde. This long-dagger has a triangular blade and is well known for being used through plates and gorgerins to finish-off enemies.

Alignment: N/A

Personality: A shy and mature person, she'll have difficulties engaging a conversation and will mostly answer to questions asked. Her strong faith and lack of experience makes her naive and bounded. She'll defend her beliefs strongly, even if she could confuse herself and simply barricade herself in silence. Yet, she remains impressionable due to her young age and will follow her superiors orders without a complaint.

History: Kalisha Lokar is only daughter of mister Olak Lokar and madam Ziva Lokar, an average Stormwind couple. 22 years old, she is probably one of the most unusual Squire the Church ever had in years. Still learning about how to use the Light in both offensive and defensive ways while having difficulties during spares because of her physical condition, the young adult lack some of the courage and will it'll require to become a paladin soon but her teachers does not desperate and think that, if she'd show some more conviction, that she could be an interesting member of the Church. Passing a good amount of time in the Library she often barricade herself in silence, fearing anything she could do would lead her in a wrong-full path and deceive her superiors. The young Kalisha was raised in the fear and religious wave that reached Stormwind between the Second and Third war and Lordaeron was lost when she reached her 10 years. Since the cradle Kalisha was raised in the pure tradition of the Holy Light, her parents indeed desired to see their daughter to embrace the glorious way of priesthood and so protect herself from the Plague, destroying their loved Kingdom and World.

As she grew up she joined the church as a simple altar server, receiving an education, mostly financed by her father as he desired to see her succeed in the way they choose for her. After a few years of pious readings, learning and training, she passed different sacraments and reached up the squire position in the Holy Light church. Directly helping the paladins in their tasks and taking instructions from different highly placed religious, also allowing her to access the library, a place in which the young lady will pass the most of her time. The young Kalisha is well known from her brothers and sisters of faith to be an expert of their library, a post that she really appreciate due to her passion for reading. Able to find any book asked and also for knowing most of it, sometime by heart.

Concerning her life outside of the Cathedral, Kalisha doesn't seem to have that many friends and most of them being totally different from one another. Though it seems that she's very friendly with most of the other races and have a good going with Draenei in her town or outside it, mostly because of their own relation with the Light and the fact that they are a quiet and peaceful race. Her relations with the races are quite different and complicated depending on their occupation, sex and simply affiliation, we can still notice that she doesn't appreciate the mages and different non-light magical arts.

Kalisha's life had a few changes recently. New friends, new activities, new places and new habits also. She was surprised on how many different persons could actually have the same kind of activities than her or simply be hanging at the same place. The most important thing about Kalisha since that she left the Cathedral for small trips around Azeroth is her point of view on the different races.

As she remained in Stormwind and the Cathedral most of the persons she encounter were Humans, even though if sometimes Draenei happened to head there to discuss with their light-following allies, she always had a kind of attraction for this so special race that were mostly like her own. Yet totally different in the habits, points of view on the life and Light or simply the look. Her old passion of reading allowed her to move on what is now one of her favorite hobbies : learning new languages and cultural habits of the races around Azeroth, that they'll be from either the Horde or the Alliance even though she don't want to go in the Horde territory alone.

Concerning the last major events of Azeroth History that were the Third, Outland and Northrend wars, Kalisha never occupied an important place for several reasons. The first reason is mainly her young age. As the Third War started Kalisha was ten years old and totally unable to act, her sixteen years old also denied us any possibility to act during the Outland invasion by the Alliance and Horde common efforts.

As she reached majority Kalisha was announced as able to take part in the war effort for the new Alliance army war act, the invasion of Northrend for the war against the Lich King. Even though Kalisha was unable to take part in any fight she found the way to make herself useful for the Church and the Army. As the assistant librarian and a squire, Kalisha was used to write and calculate and the affluence of fresh warriors and new light-users going for honor and glory in the North had to be added to the list of warriors present for the War against the Lich King. Also her basic knowledge of medical care allowed her to head to the back of the lines and proceed with assistance towards the wounded.

The Church of Light being the most important light-users organization in the world, keeping track of every paladin, priestess or affiliated member was a real problem in a period of war as the human losses were important at each battle and even each day in the last assaults against the Ice Crown fortress. This new position in the Church never forced Kalisha to move as every important decision and archives were in Stormwind for the whole war and as most of the new soldiers arrival were made on the harbor placed behind the Cathedral square.
Yorrick Von Überwald - Night-Watch member, Alliance soldier, Worgen hunter, adventurer and cuddly mass of muscles and fangs at times.

All dem alts :
Altaally - Super spacegoat from planet Baaaa with hooves that makes "clip-clop".
Emily Arlendel - "Have you heard about the Light yet?" Missionnary and doctor.
Nilsaanai Silverwhisper - Priestess in training and fully clothed elf.
Julia Torl - "Bar fight!" Brawler, brat and inactive charact-.. Eh, oops.
Eleanor Sunbloom - A mage who has no problem passing through doors.
Chayton Thornhands - George, George, George of the Jungle...

Here lies :
Kalisha Lokar, Deacon of the Church of the Holy Light. Wanna be everybody's friend.
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#2
Your title is Loktar, but everything else is Lokar.
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#3
Oops! Indeed, title was incorrect. There we go!
Yorrick Von Überwald - Night-Watch member, Alliance soldier, Worgen hunter, adventurer and cuddly mass of muscles and fangs at times.

All dem alts :
Altaally - Super spacegoat from planet Baaaa with hooves that makes "clip-clop".
Emily Arlendel - "Have you heard about the Light yet?" Missionnary and doctor.
Nilsaanai Silverwhisper - Priestess in training and fully clothed elf.
Julia Torl - "Bar fight!" Brawler, brat and inactive charact-.. Eh, oops.
Eleanor Sunbloom - A mage who has no problem passing through doors.
Chayton Thornhands - George, George, George of the Jungle...

Here lies :
Kalisha Lokar, Deacon of the Church of the Holy Light. Wanna be everybody's friend.
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#4
First off: Kalisha's last profile approval was into a hunter. Is this a retcon, or a class change?

Moving on...

Quote:Weight: 160 lbs

Height: 5.5 ft

You need to include the character's in game scale!

Quote:Personality: A shy and mature person, she'll have difficulties engaging a conversation and will mostly answer to questions asked. Also naive and bounded, she'll defend her beliefs strongly, even if she could confuse herself and simply barricade herself in silence. She's easily impressionable and will follow her superiors orders without a complaint.

Her personality seems contradictory. She's mature, yet naive and impressionable? Maturity implies some degree of wisdom and independent thought; while these are not exclusive from being naive or impressionable, it does warrant some further explanation imo.

Quote:History: Kalisha Lokar, only daughter of mister Olak Lokar and madam Ziva Lokar, an average Stormwind couple, 18 years old, is probably one of the most unusual Paladin the Church ever had in years.

You have her profiled as 22, but it says 18 here.

Quote:Barely capable of using the Light in both offensive and defensive ways, having difficulties during spares because of her regular tripping over her own equipement, the young adult is not only lacking skills in the physical work asked to Paladins.

Right, first of all you have an incomplete thought here with "the young adult is not only lacking skills in the physical work asked to Paladins.". Nextly...

If Kalisha is so damn terrible at her craft, why was she permitted paladinship? Paladins are not like say a warrior or a rogue or a hunter in that you can be a "fail" at it, because paladins are trained in schools and churches. They're held to high standards of faith and arms, and if the paladin fails to meet these requirements, I question why would they ever be approved? If Kalisha was a squire or a learner, that would be fine, but she's profiled here as if her days of training and apprenticeship are behind her.

Quote:The young lady is also known to be a disaster in the Light usage as in healing or any other spells required for an average priest along as her terrible capability to fight. The trainers came to point in which they decided to slow the lessons a little and leave her the time to progress in a soft way.

Again, I question the possibility of this. Kalisha is totally, utterly, completely reverent in her faith and dedication to the Light, so why is she so bad at using it? While yes, there is to a degree a need of bookish know-how to compliment your faith to be an effective caster, Kalisha also seems to be well read to boot. It doesn't add up.

Quote:Draeneis

The singular plural form of Draenei is still just Draenei :P

There's more to address, mostly spelling/grammar errors but I'll leave it at this for now.
Your stories will always remain...
[Image: nIapRMV.png?1]
... as will your valiant hearts.
[-] The following 3 users Like CappnRob's post:
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#5
Weight and height scales : Check!

Orthography : Check! (I hope!)

Draeneï with no "s" : Check!

Age error : Check!

As for the personality point, I modified the sentences a bit in order to provoke less A vs B and make it sound a bit more logic. I got a little confused over there but it should be better now.

Regarding Kalisha's abilities, this is rather awkward I agree but I don't think that this would be impossible. I'll try to go over the different parts one by one to avoid getting myself all confused :

The spell-casting and physical training : Here, I'm mostly basing myself over the other paladins. They are, as you said, quite an elite and would be asked to produce high-quality magic due to their faith and training. Regarding Kalisha, she obviously does not lack the faith required nor is her intelligence in question, I'm mostly basing her lack of success on the young age and lack of confidence. She has the potential but never really could get it into practice. She knows her spells, she just need to continue practicing and need some help over it.

The paladin-ship : Well... This is a matter of opinion on that one I guess. Of course most paladins were awesome dudes who are now counted as heroes and so the access to the Paladin title is rather complicated to get but... Well, I think that WoW suffers the same problems than real-life and sometimes, logical things can be rather hard to find. Kalisha's clearly not the best paladin the Church will ever have, she lacks courage, she's a bit terrible in fights and so on, but... Well, she's doing her job. She won't lead armies into battle but she can be a good supporter. She can do a little of everything, she's talented when it comes to alchemy and even though she fails to produce awesome spells, she knows them all and would be capable of explaining.
I like to compare this situation to the one we can see sometimes in modern-days armies : Pack of clever young dudes tossed into a military academy. Many of them will be good leaders and stuff like that, but you've got some other guys who will be terrible at their classes, except that they know the courses and manuals by heart and have that little "I don't know what" for making plans, teaching or taking care of support.

I think that Kalisha could be approved as a paladin for her knowledge and intelligence, but she'll obviously never pass over the most basic levels of paladin-ship until she "wakes-up" and be better at what she's doing.

So... Yeah, its more a clash of ideas rather than anything else, but I'm opened to changing Kalisha's paladin-ship if other members of the staff agree with you.

PS : Yes, this is a retcon.
Yorrick Von Überwald - Night-Watch member, Alliance soldier, Worgen hunter, adventurer and cuddly mass of muscles and fangs at times.

All dem alts :
Altaally - Super spacegoat from planet Baaaa with hooves that makes "clip-clop".
Emily Arlendel - "Have you heard about the Light yet?" Missionnary and doctor.
Nilsaanai Silverwhisper - Priestess in training and fully clothed elf.
Julia Torl - "Bar fight!" Brawler, brat and inactive charact-.. Eh, oops.
Eleanor Sunbloom - A mage who has no problem passing through doors.
Chayton Thornhands - George, George, George of the Jungle...

Here lies :
Kalisha Lokar, Deacon of the Church of the Holy Light. Wanna be everybody's friend.
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#6
I would personally change Kalisha's status as a paladin, as...

A. It really feels like you're trying to shoehorn her into the class.
B. It doesn't make sense why she sucks so much with the Light.
C. I liked her better as a priest.
D. She wouldn't have become a full-fledged paladin if she was so horrendous, unless you want to explain that.

I might not be an expert on the military. But generally I would imagine they say 'go home' if you're such a miserable wretch that you're a liability.

Really though, if I were you I would backtrack to the old priestess Kalisha. Everything post-paladin just felt like an attempt to make her more gritty and hardcore, like comic book anti-hero characters in the 90s with pouches all over their costume.
Quote:[8:53AM] Cassius: Xigo is the best guy ever. he doesn't afraid of anything.
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#7
As much as I agree with you with Kalisha not being the best person for the job, the same could be said of her as a priestress.

Of course, the talent at fighting would be pushed aside but only to receive more troubles when it comes to priest work. Also, Kalisha Priestress was interesting but a poor fella when it came to actually preaching and being sort of a leader to the light-followers because that's mostly what priests are made for. For me, that is.

And the army does send off people, but they usually send them off into another branch of the army. But that's another question.

If the staff has a general feeling that Kalisha as a paladin would be a failure this time, I could think of switching back to a priestress format, but I'd rather re-make her a paladin again.
Yorrick Von Überwald - Night-Watch member, Alliance soldier, Worgen hunter, adventurer and cuddly mass of muscles and fangs at times.

All dem alts :
Altaally - Super spacegoat from planet Baaaa with hooves that makes "clip-clop".
Emily Arlendel - "Have you heard about the Light yet?" Missionnary and doctor.
Nilsaanai Silverwhisper - Priestess in training and fully clothed elf.
Julia Torl - "Bar fight!" Brawler, brat and inactive charact-.. Eh, oops.
Eleanor Sunbloom - A mage who has no problem passing through doors.
Chayton Thornhands - George, George, George of the Jungle...

Here lies :
Kalisha Lokar, Deacon of the Church of the Holy Light. Wanna be everybody's friend.
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#8
No one (except Xigo I guess) is asserting that Kalisha has to be a priestess, she's your character and she can be a paladin if you want her to be. The thing is that the character has to make sense. I believe the qualm with Kalisha being a paladin is that it doesn't make sense. Why would a cowardly bookworm become the gavel swinging plate-wearing thing that a paladin is? Why would the Church let her be a paladin if she was so inept? These can in fact happen, they just need a suitable explanation.

Other things... The only other race you mention in Kalisha's history is Draenei, though Draenei didn't come into the scene till about 5 years ago. it's just a little odd to me. There are a number of grammatical and spelling errors repeated throughout the history, prominently there's "Storm wind" which should be "Stormwind." Lastly I want to ask about the last paragraph which seems to have nothing to do with Kalisha's history. To me it seems to be a random vignette of Kalisha in some desert in some cavern somewhere that doesn't further the story or make a point, I'd suggest making the story less vague or just removing it entirely.
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#9
Hey, you could adapt this pretty easily to make her a better fit for the Paladin class. Something could happen to her than compels her to rise to the challenge, an event to showcase her heroic spirit. Perhaps the death of a loved one or friend.

S'just an idea, anywho.
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#10
The last part was indeed a bit too much and useless, I've decided to remove it entirely. Adding a whole new paragraph would not bring anything very interesting.

The "Storm Wind" is my autocorrect's fault, I got it changed.

Again, as for a reason to the Church allowing Kalisha to be a paladin... Yeah, she's not a major plus on a battlefield, yet she can still fight and work as a chaplain. Also... I see no reason why the Church would reject her that hard. It took years to teach her the art of using the light, or swordmanship and such. You can't expect that after years and years, they'd just go like "Meh, lets just fire her." They won't give her a squire, they won't make her the rally point of an order, they're just going to give her tasks matching her current skill-level and pursue the training as much as they can.

As much as I agree with Xigo and that anti-heroes are rather... Annoying, I don't think that all paladins should be "Uther-like". I'd like to get the opportunity, once again, to get to RP something different.
Yorrick Von Überwald - Night-Watch member, Alliance soldier, Worgen hunter, adventurer and cuddly mass of muscles and fangs at times.

All dem alts :
Altaally - Super spacegoat from planet Baaaa with hooves that makes "clip-clop".
Emily Arlendel - "Have you heard about the Light yet?" Missionnary and doctor.
Nilsaanai Silverwhisper - Priestess in training and fully clothed elf.
Julia Torl - "Bar fight!" Brawler, brat and inactive charact-.. Eh, oops.
Eleanor Sunbloom - A mage who has no problem passing through doors.
Chayton Thornhands - George, George, George of the Jungle...

Here lies :
Kalisha Lokar, Deacon of the Church of the Holy Light. Wanna be everybody's friend.
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#11
(11-11-2013, 10:08 AM)Herastean Wrote: You can't expect that after years and years, they'd just go like "Meh, lets just fire her." They won't give her a squire, they won't make her the rally point of an order, they're just going to give her tasks matching her current skill-level and pursue the training as much as they can.

As much as I agree with Xigo and that anti-heroes are rather... Annoying, I don't think that all paladins should be "Uther-like". I'd like to get the opportunity, once again, to get to RP something different.

Paladins's are holy Knights, they were -heroes- of the Second and Third Wars.. Orcs crapped their pants when these guys were coming to get them. Has that time ended? Yes. But that doesn't mean The Church doesn't hold their Paladin's to a high standard of knowing their combat. They're the bulwark of the Church, if something is going bad, these are the guys who go and check it out. To say they would let her pass with out knowing some key principles of her craft is like.

"Well, this Navy Seal can't really swim too well.. and he has a hard time aiming his gun. But! He is good at looking up things on Google ! I guess we can let him pass!"

You talk about the Army letting people into another branch of the army. Which I believe is what Xigo was saying when he said she was better fit as a Priestess. She doesn't have the skill set of a Paladin. She's not a beginner, or a Squire. You profile her as a full fledged Holy Knight. It's like trying to have a Kirin Tor mage who's no good at magic, and is a full fledged member.

And no, not all Paladin's have to be Uther like. I don't think anyone is trying to say that. I have plenty of Paladin's, whom I've rp'd who are not Uther like. Hell, I have one who isn't exactly the Church's favorite person due to his attitude about the Church. But this happened after he was already anointed and had years of rp to back this up. You can have non-Uther like Paladins, but make them up to the standard in skill set that a Paladin should have to be anointed.
[Image: nFHwPlil.jpg]
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#12
Quote:Regarding Kalisha, she obviously does not lack the faith required nor is her intelligence in question, I'm mostly basing her lack of success on the young age and lack of confidence. She has the potential but never really could get it into practice. She knows her spells, she just need to continue practicing and need some help over it.

Then she is still a learner, a squire, a journeyman. She doesn't have her "paladin's license" yet.

Quote:Kalisha's clearly not the best paladin the Church will ever have

Of course, no one is saying Kalisha has to be THE BEST AROUND by virtue of just being a paladin, but rather...

Quote:she lacks courage, she's a bit terrible in fights and so on, but... Well, she's doing her job. She won't lead armies into battle but she can be a good supporter. She can do a little of everything, she's talented when it comes to alchemy and even though she fails to produce awesome spells, she knows them all and would be capable of explaining.

She still needs to be -competent-, and she seems not to be. Why would a coward be allowed to graduate as the Light's warriors? Why would a weakling be asked to wield a sword? They wouldn't. Again, if she was an apprentice, that would be fine: she's still learning; but her profile reads like she's already been knighted.

Quote:I like to compare this situation to the one we can see sometimes in modern-days armies : Pack of clever young dudes tossed into a military academy. Many of them will be good leaders and stuff like that, but you've got some other guys who will be terrible at their classes, except that they know the courses and manuals by heart and have that little "I don't know what" for making plans, teaching or taking care of support.

See, paladins are NOT your basic rank and file soldier. Their standards are higher. They have expectations to be met; if they are not then they would not be graduated? This may work for the common average soldier who is pulled from the fields and given a sword, but paladins spend -years- training and tutoring under their craft.

Quote:If the staff has a general feeling that Kalisha as a paladin would be a failure this time, I could think of switching back to a priestress format, but I'd rather re-make her a paladin again.

She would be fine if profiled as a squire/apprentice.

Quote:Again, as for a reason to the Church allowing Kalisha to be a paladin... Yeah, she's not a major plus on a battlefield, yet she can still fight and work as a chaplain.

Except actual priests can fill in the chaplain role; paladins are expected to -fight- first, so being useful on the battlefield is needed.

Quote: It took years to teach her the art of using the light, or swordmanship and such. You can't expect that after years and years, they'd just go like "Meh, lets just fire her."

Years of teaching that seems to amount to nothing, which is the problem. When a student does poorly in his classes, he gets failed. If Kalisha is as bad as you imply, she should have never been graduated.

Quote:As much as I agree with Xigo and that anti-heroes are rather... Annoying, I don't think that all paladins should be "Uther-like"

They don't have to be.
Your stories will always remain...
[Image: nIapRMV.png?1]
... as will your valiant hearts.
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#13
This really isn't the place for this...but I clicked one of your links, Cappn, to Percival's wiki page. Then I saw that he's marked as 189 years old. Astounded, I did some sorting and found his original profile, which enlists him as 19. Just...thought I'd throw that in here while it's relevant.. :x

Anyways, Kalisha. What I'm getting out of this is that you want a character that's not the best, to leave lots of room for progress and development. Sadly, though, paladins don't really become paladins if they're not the best at what they do. Sad to say that 98% of the time, that's how it has gotta be. Hate to limit your creativity and whatnot.
[Image: 4ab673a110e5324a7acf57e330a6c8eb.jpg]
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#14
Quote:This really isn't the place for this...but I clicked one of your links, Cappn, to Percival's wiki page. Then I saw that he's marked as 189 years old. Astounded, I did some sorting and found his original profile, which enlists him as 19. Just...thought I'd throw that in here while it's relevant.. :x

I have no idea what you're talking about :|

edited the typo, hurr
Your stories will always remain...
[Image: nIapRMV.png?1]
... as will your valiant hearts.
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#15
Well, I see that the only remaining problem with this profile is her status as a full-paladin according to her current skills.

I'd be up to actually switch from a paladin status to a squire, seeing the fact that it changes nothing to her profile except that she'll need to continue learning and training and that was, as mentionned before, the actual plan.

I'm going to change the profile a bit to make her an apprentice. In the meanwhile, if anything else shocks with the character, please do tell me so that I can rectify it.
Yorrick Von Überwald - Night-Watch member, Alliance soldier, Worgen hunter, adventurer and cuddly mass of muscles and fangs at times.

All dem alts :
Altaally - Super spacegoat from planet Baaaa with hooves that makes "clip-clop".
Emily Arlendel - "Have you heard about the Light yet?" Missionnary and doctor.
Nilsaanai Silverwhisper - Priestess in training and fully clothed elf.
Julia Torl - "Bar fight!" Brawler, brat and inactive charact-.. Eh, oops.
Eleanor Sunbloom - A mage who has no problem passing through doors.
Chayton Thornhands - George, George, George of the Jungle...

Here lies :
Kalisha Lokar, Deacon of the Church of the Holy Light. Wanna be everybody's friend.
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