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Kelynda Valdamorei [Blood Elf Paladin]
#1
I figured I should rework this profile, so I took another look at it and did what I felt was necessary. I hope my following work is acceptable.

Player: Morhana

Character Full Name: Kelynda Valdamorei

Character In-Game Name: Kelynda

Association(s): The Order of the Crimson Sun

Race: Blood Elf

Class: Paladin

Age: 156

Sex: Female

Hair: Red

Eyes: Green

Weight: 160 lbs.

Height: 6' 1"


Usual Garments/Armor:
She is most often seen in her Crimson Sun dress uniform (Judgement Plate). On rare occasions, she is in her darkly colored combat-ready plate.


Personality:
Kelynda is generally very patriotic about the Sin'dorei. Recently she is somewhat intolerant towards all but the Sin'dorei, though in the past she has been more open to others. She views those within her order with a strong sense of brotherhood. Those Sin'dorei from outside her order, while not seen in quite the same light, are still generally regarded among the best people of the world. Despite fighting for everything that the Sin'dorei are, she still acknowledges the mistakes of their past. Rather than try to ignore or hide these mistakes, she seeks atonement for her peoples' troubled past.

History:
Kelynda was raised as the daughter of a tailor and a smith. Her older brother, Chroessand, was born several years before her. Her two younger sisters, Sorcha and Serie, were born several years after her, and about ten years apart from one another. From her youth she lived not much different than most Sin'dorei.

As Kelynda reached adulthood, Chroessand began passing on what knowledge he gained of the use of armor and weapons to her. She took what she learned very seriously, and after not long, started to invest more and more time to her training. After numerous years, she became quite skilled in heavy plate with a large sword, her weapon of choice. As the years passed, and Kelynda continued to keep up her practice, her younger sisters each branched into other types of training, one following the light, and the other following more arcane pursuits. Sorcha's interest in a career in the ways of the light sparked Kelynda's curiosity, and she began studying with her younger sister. While she didn't join the church of the light herself, she began to follow the light in her own ways.

In the events that would become known as the fall of Quel'thalas, Kelynda stood beside her brother to fight back against the undead, protecting her homeland. Such a goal would prove to be futile in the end. As they fought back against the undead menace, the two warriors began to feel the strain on their bodies as they grew tired. In one final move to protect his sisters, Chroessand cast Kelynda back away from the oncoming undead, sacrificing himself to grant her time to flee the city with her younger sisters. Kelynda witnessed what she would believe to be her brother's final moments as his body was torn asunder by the twisted claws of the cruel undead. This event would prove to mold Kelynda into the force of light she is today.

The three sisters, lost without home, wandered until it was made known to them how to absorb Fel. They did so, though the use of the dark power had felt wrong to Kelynda. Despite the darkness of the fel, Kelynda continued to absorb the power, fearing she would otherwise lose herself to the withdrawals.

Moving back into the recently rebuilt city, the three sisters tried to regain their place in their homeland, each taking up their own career path. With her many years of training, and her study of the light, Kelynda hoped to serve the order as a valuable knight. Despite her will to serve well for her people as a Blood Knight, she was uncomfortable with the methods used to carry out their goals, as well as the attitudes of many of her fellow knights.

The difference in opinion would eventually lead to Kelynda leaving the Blood Knights. She struggled to find her way in the time following her retirement from the Blood Knights. After some discussion with Sorcha, the three sisters formed the Order of the Crimson Sun, with the assistance of another paladin that would soon become Kelynda's husband, and Alinestia, Kelynda's best friend.

Not long after Kelynda became married, while out with her husband and sisters, the group ran into a pair that would be discovered to be Chroessand, resurrected as a Death Knight, and his assistant, an undead shadow priest. After a brief encounter, leaving the two knights and the priestess incapacitated for a short time, Chroessand kidnapped Serie, the youngest of the sisters. Following this attack, the Order began work on fortifying their defenses, to ensure such an attack would never happen again, as well as preparing to seek out Chroessand and rescue Serie.

Several attempts to rescue Serie failed, and in fact did more harm than good to the Order. Eventually, Sorcha and Kelynda's husband vanished, leaving just Kelynda and Alinestia within the Order. The three missing members of the Order, to this day, have not been heard from since. Kelynda and Alinestia assumed the worst, and the Order went into a state of pause. The two stored away their armor and weapons, turning to more conventional lifestyles.

Recently, Kelynda has made the move to start up the order once more, urging Alinestia to do the same. With the Order in motion once more, the two have begun recruiting those that they felt fit the Order well. The growing Order has made the move into a larger headquarters, hidden in the mountains, south of Quel'thalas.

After much work within the growing Order, the Crimson Sun formed signed treaties with many of the prominent houses of Quel'thalas, allowing the Order access to greater resources. The Order went through a small transformation, as Taelandria took command of what was once the Crimson Sun Inquisition, and molded it into the much more appropriate "College of the Crimson Sun". As High Chancellor, Taelandria then lead the College on a mission to collect what knowledge they could, to aid the College in teaching what they could to the people of Quel'thalas.

It didn't take long for tragedy to strike the Order once again. After having left on business for the College, Kelynda soon lost contact with High Chancellor Taelandria. After some time had passed, the Order had recognised Taelandria, like the others before her, as missing in action. With a prime suspect in mind, Kelynda left on a personal mission to track down Chroessand, with little success. Leading the Order by proxy had become tedious, and her leads were few and far between, leading her to return to Quel'thalas and lead the Order of the Crimson Sun directly once again.

Kelynda's return was not to be a pleasant one though, it would seem. The whole of the world was struck with catastrophic damage. The Shattering had happened, and with such convenient timing to strike the Monastery of the Crimson Sun just days before Kelynda had returned. Kelynda had come home to ruins, her once grand monastery now a pile of rubble. All was not lost, however, as Kelynda and the Order of the Crimson Sun had formed bonds with many of the noble houses of Quel'thalas, allowing her access to resources that would now seem to be extremely valuable to the Order. Kelynda had commissioned the construction of a new meeting hall for the order, south of Quel'thalas on the eastern coast. In this new hall, she would gather the Order to hear her word.

"The Order of the Crimson Sun stands for Quel'thalas and her people, but what good is it to protect Quel'thalas alone, if the rest of the world falls to the evils that we can see rising all across the land?" It was with this idea that Kelynda had proposed the Order shift from being a Sin'dorei organization, to one of all of the peoples of Azeroth, fighting for their entire world. "As we will fight for the whole of Azeroth, I will have a ship built, that we may transport our knights across all of Azeroth."

Following the construction of the meeting hall and ship, Kelynda and Alinestia set out once again on a mission to find fresh recruits to fight for Azeroth, as the small unit of soldier's left under Kelynda's command would surely not be enough to rid Azeroth of the evils plaguing the land.
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#2
Quote:Usual Garments/Armor:
She is most often seen in her Crimson Sun dress uniform (Judgement Plate). On

rare occasions, she is in her darkly colored combat-ready plate.

Something happened to the spacing here! O:

Quote:Despite her will to serve well for her people as a Blood Knight, she is uncomfortable with the methods used to carry out their goals, as well as the attitudes of many of her fellow knights.

Is should be was, to keep in the past tense.

That's all I spotted for now c:
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#3
Right, fixed the errors. Something happened when copying from notepad. I have no good excuse for using "is". I should be ashamed. I will go sit in the corner to cry now.
[-] The following 1 user Likes Morhana's post:
  • Wuvvums
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#4
Please make our lives a little easier and remove the bolding. Also, please move the things like Age and other such small stuff on line with the slots they're supposed to be in.

Quote:Age: 156


Instead of:

Quote:Age:

156

If they are more than a few sentences, then go ahead and keep it as it is. Like your story, for instance.
[Image: 6RpTZgI.gif]
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#5
I was never aware bolding was an issue. I applied all of my previous characters with the same formatting I used here. Regardless, it's been changed.
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#6
Quote:Moving back into the recently rebuilt city, the three sisters try to regain their place in their homeland, each taking up their own career path. With her many years of training, and her study of the light, she hopes to serve the order as a valuable knight. Despite her will to serve well for her people as a Blood Knight, she was uncomfortable with the methods used to carry out their goals, as well as the attitudes of many of her fellow knights.

You change the tense between the first few sentences and the last ones.

That is all. :D
[Image: 6RpTZgI.gif]
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#7
It has been fixed. Why couldn't people have pointed this out the first time I applied, saving me from this ridiculously hardcore embarassment?! :P
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#8
Hiya Morhana!

Cool profile. I enjoyed reading it!

There's just a feeeeew little things we need to address, just to embarrass you a bit more. :P

Quote: After some discussion with Sorcha, the three sisters form the Order of the Crimson Sun,

'Dem tense issues. Formed!

Quote: Several failed attempts to rescue Serie failed

Really? Did they? I'm shocked. :P

Other than that, the order seems to be pretty influential! They've got treaties with the big important people, they've got the resources to order a guild hall built, they need ships to transport their knights...big stuff! How many people is it, and how'd they manage to get such influence?

S'all from me! Get back to me when you can.
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#9
Well, those two issues have been repaired. I am struck quite hard by the failed attempts that failed. I am literally dying of embarrassment. /nod

The order contacted the heads of several noble houses directly and after much discussion and negotiating, formed mutually beneficial treaties with many of them.
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#10
Approved!
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#11
Wikified!
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