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Octavia Lyonaley [Worgen]
#1
Player: Studio Winters

Character Full Name: Octavia

Character In-Game Name: Octavia Lyonaley

Nickname(s): Octie, Oct, Octipie (at your own risk), Autumn, Lion, Lady Lyon, Madame Eight

Association(s): Grey Milita

Race: Worgen

Class: Hunter!

Skills and Abilities: Tracker for undead, demons, giants, and most common game.

Age: 26

Sex: Female

Hair: Mid-back, dark reddish brown, very curly and often messy, barely contained by a half-hearted ponytail. In worgen form, soft gray all over, with white around her eyes and snout, going into a white throat and belly.

Eyes: Brown, to Gray, depending on the lighting. More often than not amber when shifted to worgen form.

Scale/Height: 0.90

Weight: 125~ish not including gear

Usual Garments/Armor: Dark green and brown leathers, adorned with pouches galore. A stylish dueling rapier and a hip quiver at her side.

Other: A rather terrible large mawing scar on her right shoulder that crosses onto her back. Freckles sprinkle across the bridge of her nose and her cheeks.

Alignment: Chaotic Good

Personality: Octavia is cheerful, always with a witty remark or comeback. It wouldn’t be a far fetched assumption to say she takes almost nothing seriously. She’s gentle and kind deep down, and holds a deep sense of inner wisdom and self awareness that might even be surprising.
Notably, Octavia is stubborn. Despite her nature to avoid conflict at all costs, when there is something she genuinely wants or believes in, she’ll do it. In her own words, she is;
“A mix of bad life choices and dumb luck- and a lot of bandages”

She will never openly admit to being a Worgen, and would even out right deny it. She wears an incredibly strong rose perfume to hide any scent of her wolfish history. Other worgen in their true forms put her off. She also strongly dislikes undead to the point of almost open hostility and aggression, for obvious reasons.

While in worgen form, Octavia chooses to not speak, relying heavily on body language for communication.

History:
The Lyonaley’s were a simple merchant family within Gilneas. They didn’t do anything particularly special aside from be fairly wealthy and help coordinate trade about the walled off nation- for a fee of course. The Lyonaleys fancied themselves important- though of course, knew their place in the social ladder.

Because of their wealth and rather well to do attitude and pseudo-nobility, Octavia was often kept indoors. In fact, for the majority of her life- aside from attending formal parties under the watchful eye of her parents, the only place outside of her home she had ever tread was her court yard. A court yard which was filled with red Gilnean roses tended to by the Lady Lyonaley herself.

Despite their over protective and pompous nature- Octavia’s parents were kind and loving. Perhaps not supportive of the whimsical fancies of their young child- but they were as well meaning as any parent is. And though as a child Octavia had hated them for keeping her sheltered from the world, she thanks them now because of it- as her freedom is so much sweeter now.

Aside from her parents Octavia also has an older brother named Rodrick. Rodrick was a dashing young man with a reserved demeanor who aspired to take over the family business. In such, he was almost always out, and was quite distant with his younger sister. But he secretly doted her like his parents and almost always brought her back gifts, most notably the rose scented perfume for her fifteenth birthday, which she still wears today.

While home she lived life vicariously through books- any kind of book. Pirates- adventure, fantasy, those were her favorites. But above all her absolute favorite were always the tales regarding and dashing rogues who robbed the rich, gave to the poor and always got the girl. Octavia would grow to fancy herself a duelist, idolizing the freedom of the rogues in her stories. As she of course- like any proper little girl, absolutely hated being trapped inside dreary stone walls day in and day out, watching life outside her window.

Thankfully she wasn’t always trapped within her home. Her father would, after much convincing, often take her out on hunting trips. Which were more often than not Octavia standing in the back watching her father and his other wealthy friends talk business and shoot boar. But she found this fascinating and grew to love the times she spent out hunting.

Unfortunately, despite the happy balance she found with her life and the peace she came too, the outside world would come for her. Though she personally knew nothing other than whispers of the war outside the wall- she did hear the tones of growing concern and the lack of hunting parties and formal events as the Worgen began infecting those in the city. The Lyonaleys hid in their manor from the world, ignoring calls to rise to aid, wanting nothing to do with anything outside their parties, business, and hunting.

But the world would come for our little Lyonaley. The Worgen would finally manage to get their way into her home. Like a perfectly painted tragic scene her father and his hired men would defend to the very death, the lives of the Lady Lyonaleys, an to death they would come, spared from the curse. But her mother was not so fortunate- and was cursed like the rest.
Which left little Octavia, (who by now was a young adult), with her father’s bloody musket and rapier, trapped in her stone prison with the blood thirsty Worgen. But fortunate would balance out in her favor.

As a Worgen pinned her to the wall- mauling at her neck and shoulder she managed of a shot from her musket at the chain of an oil chandelier, which would crash to the floor and erupt the room into flames. At which point Octavia made her escape- staggering outside her home by herself for the first time in the chaos.

Bitten and bloodied she would fortunately find the help she needed, and obtained the cure to bring her to sanity once more. And now on her own she stood among the refugees, as she watched as another wall of blissful ignorance crumbled, making her escape from the city.

Octavia would come to hate herself bitterly for what she had become. She would seclude herself to the forests of Blackwald, hunting for weeks on end in her Worgen form, then dragging her kills to nearby villages to trade for supplies she needed. She spends weeks on her own with just her random animal pets she made friends with along the way.
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#2
Alright, right off the bat. As it stands now, your profile is not in proper formatting. I'm gonna' ask that you -please- put a space (hit the enter key) once between each section;

Valicor Wrote:Age: 26

Sex: Female

And please space out the bigger parts, like the Personality section and the History section, into smaller paragraphs via these spaces addressed above. It's better to have tons of tiny paragraphs then lots of huge ones!~

I will ask that this be first taken care of before anything else is addressed. Please leave a post when the edits have been made! :)
[Image: 4ab673a110e5324a7acf57e330a6c8eb.jpg]
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#3
Holy revolting hat wearing peasants bat elf, I'll fix that right away!
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#4
StudioWinters Wrote:Scale/Height: 5ft5, average scale
Actual scale here, please.

I'm not saying your Alignment is wrong, but for the sake of consistency, I'll link you this Alignment page. If you were unsure about what Alignment to choose, this is a good place to look. (This is just a recommendation.)

I'm seeing a style of typing in your History section. For easier reading purposes, perhaps you can scan through and see if you can better replace a hyphen ( - ) with a comma ( , ). Some of the sentences, because of the use of the hyphen, are jagged and harder to read.

StudioWinters Wrote:(who by now was only a teenager),
I'm not sure about this line. If present day, year 30, was when Gilneas entirely fell, I'm not sure that Octavia would only be a teenager when worgen began their attacking on the city. Perhaps a young adult, closer to adulthood than being an actual teenager.

StudioWinters Wrote:Bitten and bloodied she would fortunately find the help she needed, and obtained the cure to bring her to sanity once more. And now on her own she stood among the refugees, as she watched as another wall of blissful ignorance crumbled, making her escape from the city.
I'm going to ask that you please expand on the way she went about finding a cure.

From @c0rzilla 's VERY helpful guide to worgens;
Spoiler:
Feral or Sane? Neither?
I've seen many degrees of sanity and/or ferality on CotH, so I figured this should be mentioned.

There are two "cures" for Worgenhood, though neither are complete:

  • The alchemical concoction brewed by Royal Chemist Krennan Aranas. This only grants temporary sanity in worgen form (we don't know how long it lasts, but it isn't permanent), not allowing a transformation back to a human form.
  • Partaking in a ritual by eating a Moonleaf, and drinking the waters of Tal'doren, the waking world counterpart to the Emerald Dream tree the original Druids of the Pack were sealed under. This ritual grants a balance between rage and guilt, allowing a worgen to attain human form. Not all participated in this ritual.


It is popular thought that the longer a character has been a worgen, the stronger their feral instincts are. Be that is it may, the instincts are only a desire. Your character might really, really want to go run off and hunt, but they still possess the rational intellect to figure out that might not be a good idea in Stormwind City. Also, some NPCs shift to worgen form at night. There is little lore to support this, so my thoughts are the desire to shift is stronger due to seeing the moon (Elune) and wolves being nocturnal creatures.

Please use some of this given information to expand upon her finding a cure.

StudioWinters Wrote:She spends months on her own with
Previously in the history you detailed Gilneas falling to the worgen curse. Again, if that is year 30, present day, I'm not sure she could spend months in the woods, but you could surely get away with saying she 'spends much time' in the woods alone. That's only a tiny, nitpicky detail.

Aside from that, I see nothing else glaringly bad about this profile; but I am no FH. One should be along shortly to help you once the changes have been made!
Thanks for your cooperation. :)
[Image: 4ab673a110e5324a7acf57e330a6c8eb.jpg]
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#5
...Going to ask that a forum helper do this.



It's really, really confusing to new players when non-forum helpers do this.
[Image: desc_head_freemasons.jpg]

△Move along.△


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[-] The following 1 user Likes Harmonic's post:
  • JVNemesis
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#6
Valicor Wrote:Aside from that, I see nothing else glaringly bad about this profile; but I am no FH. One should be along shortly to help you once the changes have been made!

@StudioWinters ; My sincerest apologies if I managed to confuse you in any way shape or form. While non-forum helper players are encouraged to help out in correcting a profile, I have no sort of approval powers, and am simply trying to be helpful.
[Image: 4ab673a110e5324a7acf57e330a6c8eb.jpg]
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#7
Yes. Let's leave Peon profiles to the Forum Helpers, please!
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#8
RIGHT. I forgot to fix that stuff- it's only been a short period since Gil fell. I'm not super aware of CoTH's time line, so I just went to work it up that it would even out for her being 26 when it was over. BUT That is no excuse- I will promptly move through and fix that up so everything is aligned properly.

I'll try and fix the stuff for the cure after I dip into that little article you have there. I just didn't want to make my history exceedingly long with the background information on how all worgens get themselves not-crazy. Because it's already long.

But hey! I'm all for fluff paragraphs. If the gods want fluff, FLUFF THEY WILL HAVE.

As for my writing style. Sorry mate, that's my writing style. When I free-write I like to write like an overly dramatic narrator talks. But if a FH /really/ wants me to take them out, I will pout, and then, reluctantly, take them out. Then be dramatic in a corner about how no one appreciates my writing. </3

Finally; Not sure why you linked me the alignment page? But uh, thanks? :'D I know the Alignment Table by heart. I'm rocking that robin hood mentality.

EDIT;
Pft, whatever mate, it's kay. I appreciate constructive criticism. Especially since y'actually pointed out stuff I need to fix. So it's all gravy 8]
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#9
Quote:I'll try and fix the stuff for the cure after I dip into that little article you have there. I just didn't want to make my history exceedingly long with the background information on how all worgens get themselves not-crazy. Because it's already long.

Information to that depth on the cure isn't actually necessary. Feel free to add it if you like, but don't feel obligated!

Quote:As for my writing style. Sorry mate, that's my writing style. When I free-write I like to write like an overly dramatic narrator talks. But if a FH /really/ wants me to take them out, I will pout, and then, reluctantly, take them out. Then be dramatic in a corner about how no one appreciates my writing. </3

I appreciate your writing style! It's like there's an elderly narrator with spectacles telling me about Octavia's life. And there's no need to change anything. It's great as is.

Quote:Finally; Not sure why you linked me the alignment page? But uh, thanks? :'D I know the Alignment Table by heart.

Your alignment's perfectly fine.

But yes, the only thing needed is an exact scale! Oh, and are her eyes all three of those colours? Or is that over different forms? Confuso mucho.
[Image: RtK7PiZ.png]
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#10
Fixed! Thanks for the input.

And yes, they change colors depending on the lighting. And sometimes they just change, but usually their just muddled brown.
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#11
Not sure about the eye thing - do they magically change or is it just a lighting thing?

Either way, the lore checks out sooo...!

Initial approval!
Your stories will always remain...
[Image: nIapRMV.png?1]
... as will your valiant hearts.
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#12
Done and done!
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#13
Quote:She will never openly admit to being a Worgen, and would even out right deny it. She wears an incredibly strong rose perfume to hide any scent of her wolfish history. Other worgen in their true forms put her off. She also strongly dislikes undead to the point of almost open hostility and aggression, for obvious reasons.

If you could, cut this out of the history and insert it into the personality, because that's where this kind of information belongs.

Quote:Eyes: Amber/Brown/Gray

You've got different eye colors going on here, and I'm guessing that it has to do with being in different forms. And it's a good thing to do in a Worgen profile! However, could you do something like 'Brown (human form), Gray (worgen form)' to clarify which eye color belongs to which form for the readers of the profile? Which eye color belongs to which is my guess, so just edit accordingly.

Edit: it appears you edited this bit when I was making this post, and clarified what I was wondering, so no need to worry about this - what you have there looks good now that you've made the clarification.

Quote:Other: Aside from a rather terrible large mawing scar on her right shoulder that crosses onto her back, Octavia is average. Almost forgettable.

Something like 'Almost forgettable.' shouldn't belong in the profile, as the act of other characters forgetting her or something about her is a case by case thing. To put it in other words, you can't determine whether or not she's forgettable. Same thing with being 'average'.
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#14
-whew- That all?
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#15
That would be all!

Approved (pending gruntship)!
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