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ProjectRandom's feedback thread
#1
I'm very unsure about this. I'm insecure, and feel that most of the people in this community dislike me. However, I'm going to come out of my shell and make it anyways because I've been really confused as to why people don't like any of my characters. Zernzaz, Mahri, Sherl, Gundhor, Drakund.. All of them.

Please focus on IC things and not on me OOCly.

Anyway, enough of that negativity. Shoot me some feedbacks.
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#2
IC stuff would be fine... it's just some of the OOC stuff that gets pretty bad man. And it's the one thing you said not to concentrate on, but... I'll say that.
[Image: desc_head_freemasons.jpg]

△Move along.△


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#3
I like Zernzaz because he's simply a funny character and always makes me chuckles with his random flying machine incidents and toy train adventures. Sherl, in the limited interaction I've had, seems to be a good character and I enjoyed RPing with her. Drakund to me seems a bit one-dimensional, probably because he was created for a sole purpose and then that sole purpose left and he is left with no substance.

That's all from me!
“Fairy tales do not tell children that dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children that dragons can be killed.”
— G.K. Chesterton

Spoiler:
[Image: tumblr_n9hl98KKPd1r4fnslo1_500.gif]

Have a puppy Ruby and a nice day.
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#4
You spoke my mind, Corvus. And yeah, that was the problem with Drakund. I brought it up to you before I made him, and it would appear my concerns have come to life. I just wish I knew how to get past my problems.
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#5
(12-03-2013, 08:34 PM)Harmonic Wrote: IC stuff would be fine... it's just some of the OOC stuff that gets pretty bad man. And it's the one thing you said not to concentrate on, but... I'll say that.

I appreciate the feedback, but I mentioned in my OP not to comment on OOC stuff, can you please respect that? Saying "I know you said not to.." doesn't justify it. Thanks.
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#6
Take what I have to say with a grain of salt as I've never had very detailed interactions with your characters so I don't have much insight, however I have seen Zernzaz in a couple of instances and what stuck out is that he is a little one dimensional to me. Things I notice about him are that he's less defined as a character but more defined on things the character has; this really stuck out to me in one of Rowgen's events, where there were multiple mentions of Zernzaz having a flying machine -- Both IC and OOC. I'd suggest not a toning down but rather a toning up. Just add some depth to his quirk, then I'd think of Zernzaz as less of a cartoony character and more of a character that's funny.
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#7
I'll respect it, but it does need to be said, Random. Like, you know it's a problem but it's honestly why people tend to avoid your characters. It might suck to hear, and you don't want to hear it, but it's the reason why.

From here on out you won't have to worry about me posting in this thread, alright?

Edit: To give you something that's IC that sorta bothers me about your characters... sometimes it feels like they say things that try to give people knee-jerk reactions that extend to OOC. Like Sheryl calling people "Fags", something that -really- feels out of place. Like, super out of place. And you've done it more than once. Other than that? As I said, your characters can be fairly interesting.
[Image: desc_head_freemasons.jpg]

△Move along.△


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#8
You aren't respecting it, Rensin. I already know what I do wrong OOCly and I've asked that you don't comment on it in this thread, which you are doing. Please keep it IC.
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#9
You get a lot of flak, Random. I myself am not sure as to if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Whatever the case is, I'm not going to be a snob and expel you from my role-play. However, I've got just a few ideas so that you can flesh out your characters, aye?

Zernzazz - Kindle said my thoughts on this fella. (I swear, the fella is psychic.)

Mahri - Sure, she's a nurterer, a survivalist; a real mother figure, or a big sister. Though that seems to take over her life. What does she like, what does she hate? Does she hold a prejudice against Orcs for what happened on Draenor? Very little seems to be known about her save that she's sweet and kind. Prejudices can make a character all the more interesting! Or at least, distrust, or dislike. There's a good chance she'd be traumatized or angry by what happened on Draenor, yet she doesn't really seem to react to this. Is she hiding something? Is she holding it all down there in some small crevice, just waiting for it to all come out? Much as I'm fond of love and peace, happiness and all, there's just not enough going on that adds depth to Mahri. Details, man. Details.

That's it for me, bud. Just work hard on all things, and you should be golden.
[Image: 54079-Dr-Evil-air-quotes-lasers-gif-A6nY.gif]
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#10
A common fault of your characters is that they seem desperate for a relationship. Zernzaz complains about not being good set sex a lot, or not having had it in a while (it's kinda creepy and annoying). Sherl seems to base her worth on how many friends she has (i.e. "everyone else has someone but me"), and Mahri...well, I heard she was with a troll at some point, coupled with her sighing about no normal draenic man ever wanting her.

Your characters shouldn't need others to define them. This common theme of really, really wanting a relationship superbadrightnow also makes me wonder if there's some self-insert going on. Which can be unhealthy.

So yeah, like others said: depth beyond cartoonish tropes and quirks. Characters are more than the sum of their pieces.

Also, be very careful with Zernzaz being able to speak Draenic. That's a very, very rare and odd language for a goblin to know, even if they are the master traders of Azeroth. Keep it to greetings, farewells and such.
[Image: tumblr_nfm4t0FZcT1rtcd58o1_r1_500.gif]
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#11
You're right in that the relationship RP comes from OOC self insert, and I'm sure you guys don't want to hear about my emotional problems but to be fair, I do have backstories behind it all. Sherl was abused by her parents, almost forced into an arranged marriage and was ignored by most men after that due to her burly personality. Mahri was indeed traumatized by the Orc's slaying of her people, and her avoiding further conflict with the Orcs and wishing to not pursue them for it comes out of a fear of the slaughter happening again. She ran away from her people because she felt the attack distanced her from them further, and she was alone in the forest for a long time. Her deliberate exiling herself from her community-like people would indeed make normal Draenei men irked about her, and that's why she laments that fact.

One might say I make up these stories to give an excuse to do relationship roleplay where I can, and they'd be right. I'll be honest with you. My love life is pretty much non existent in real life, and I make up for it in roleplay. It's like my way of licking my wounds.

Zernzaz grew up without parents, friends, or education. The one person that he thought cared about him, he recently found out never did. He's a bit borked in the head because of that, which is why he behaves the way he does.

I'll try to make these factors more clear in my actual roleplay, but there you have it. Thanks for the feedback and keep it coming.
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#12
As stated already, your characters need depth, and they can obtain this without resorting to relationships. In fact, I would rather encourage you get the characters' issues settled before they can obtain a romantic relationship.

I'm glad you will be focusing on making the background factors more prominent, though I discourage you from having your characters state these factors, especially with strangers or people your characters don't know well. When it comes to angst, most people deal with it through constructive actions to solve or at least dull the pain. If Mahri can't socialize well with other Draenei, have it be a maladaptive issue to explore positively so she can grow. If Sherl craves for love and attention, have her build on her independence so that her relationships can survive. Relationship and romance in RP should be a secondary flavor to your characters, not a primary. By making it a primary, I'm afraid you'd be setting yourself up for failure. Even the most idealistic romantics know that love and relationship cannot survive if that individual cannot help him/herself, as all relationships--lover, brother/sister, parent-child, friends, community, and so forth--require give and take.

Quote:Her deliberate exiling herself from her community-like people would indeed make normal Draenei men irked about her, and that's why she laments that fact.

False, actually. People becoming irked about self-pity self-exile come from individualistic societies where independence is more highly valued than community togetherness, and the removal of oneself due to personal weakness would be considered a good thing (as the person is removing a "weak link" that holds a society together). Draenei, when RPed properly, are very community-based, and more often than not they will be driven to help the self-exiled draenei so they can return home--after all, draenei are suffering from low population. If you wish to find a more solid reason for Mahri to distance herself away from her people, make it so that it's all in her head and she's perceiving the anger and distance. By putting the responsibility of her guilt fully on her, she becomes a more compelling character and more people--draenei and non-draenei--would be encouraged to RP with her. Other draenei suffered from the purge as well, so use this as a means to connect, not to disconnect.

As for Sherl's background in parental abuse, please note that arranged marriage is not--and just about never--necessarily a bad thing. An arranged marriage is also not a sign of abuse as well. I generally tend to discourage parental abuse as a character background because RPers (and writers in general) do not understand the nature of abuse and why abuse happens in the first place. If Sherl's problem with her parents is growing up from overwhelmingly or impossibly high standards (due to the fact they were the ones arranging her marriage), then have her character focus on trying to please others while suffering from her own sense of identity (as she ran away). If the issue is legitimate abuse--verbal, emotional, etc--then she should be more of a shrinking violet who has difficulty making connections. If you go this route, however, then pursuing love and relationships should be the last thing Sherl would be searching for, as she would fear abuse from the potential lover. Rather, Sherl should focus on becoming an independent woman who can stand up for herself in times of trouble.

These are suggestions in how you can make a character more compelling and provide more depth. I know you're dealing with issues IRL, but there are more constructive ways with seeking release and relief through RP than inserting yourself in these characters. By tweaking their pain and making them unlike yours, you will be placing yourself the distance between OOC and IC that can improve your roleplay as well as strengthen your relationship with other players. And who knows? Maybe the RP can inspire you to find the strength you need. I know it does for me, and I attribute RP with my friends in helping me find my own personal strength (by the time I became a GM, I also got my first official job).

That's all I got to say. If you got any questions, you can ask me on Skype :)
[Image: 3HQ8ifr.gif]
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#13
Quote:(report) [15:31] ProjectRandom: Just remember not to RP without express consent from three GMs!

What're ya doin', lad?
Quote:[8:53AM] Cassius: Xigo is the best guy ever. he doesn't afraid of anything.
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#14
Bad things. :(

I'm full of bad jokes. Should point that out somewhere in this thread. =p
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#15
While I my self am afraid of posting a feedback thread, I admire you for creating one. But onto the point. We were unable to get along a couple of months back. I do not know how long it was. I had my issues with you, the GMs did get involved. All I can say is that I am actually glad you returned and that you try to improve. It means that you can grow out of whatever it is that sometimes draws a line between you and others. Today when we casually entered a conversation and the fact that you remained civil and respectful struck me.

I was so happy to see the change that I cannot really explain it to you. Now. Some of the people here have raised some valid facts and I do suggest you listen to them it is in your best interest after all. But I will say, I am definetly noting improvement. One more thing, in the begining, I stood away from this thread due to our previous differences and the fact that I do try to avoid criticizing others if we don't get along, but after talking to you, I had to share my thoughts on here. You are improving and I like it, do not let yourself slip. These people posted here because they are trying to help you and push you in the right direction, it is up to you, to just what you will do with this information.


I'm done rambling :C
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