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Telvan [Nelf Rogue]
#1
Player: Randomzac

Character Full Name: Talvan Ragingwind

Character In-Game Name: Telvan

Nickname(s): None

Association(s): Darnassus

Race: Night Elf

Class: Rogue

Age: 10,033

Sex: Male

Hair: Long flowing green hair down his back and held back from his face by a red headband

Eyes: Glowing yellow

Weight: 256 lbs

Height: 7'1"

Usual Garments/Armor: Red leather armor with a tabard noting his involvement in the Battle of Mount Hyjal. He wears a cape down his back and a red headband on his forward.

Other: He carries a flask in his vest that he keeps filled. He can actually be seen in taverns filling the flask shortly after dusk.

Personality: Telvan keeps his promises dear. If he were to make you a promise, you can bet that he will keep it. He also tries to preserve nature, though he knows that in order for society to live, sacrifices must be made (i.e Hunting, farming and slight lumbering.) He wants to do what is right though he is not always sure what is right. If he is presented with a problem, he will look at any resolutions possible and considers which will be more right for himself and those around him.

History: Telvan was born in a small cave at the foot of Mount Hyjal his mother was forced to hide from the war. His mother raised him the best she could. Though their life was hard, gathering herbs to survive. His father had fought for Malfurion during the War of the Ancients and lost his life.

During his -teenage- decades Telvan saved his brother from a Satyr. The Satyr had snuck up Tanavar while he was looking for some herbs. Telvan heard his cries for help and rushed to his brothers aid. Telvan was able to get the better of the Satyr by sneaking around the back of the Satyr while he was preoccupied with Tanavar. Telvan jumped on the back of the Satyr and struggled with the creature while his brother crawled to safety. Telvan was able to push his dagger into the eye of Satyr, wounding it to the point of retreat. Telvan carried his brother back to the Village where they both were seen to by healers.

One of the Sentinels who were posted at the Village took note of Telvan's skill in fighting and sneaking and decided to offer him some formal training, so that if the village needed an extra defender, she could rely on him. Telvan graciously accepted the training, wanting to achieve the glory that only a fighter could obtain. They trained away from the village, so to avoid the prying eyes of others.

During his training, Telvan showed a knack for moving gracefully. This piqued the interest of his -master-. She obtained him some glaives and began to train him on how to use them in the complex dance that was required to wield such weapons efficiently.

Once Telvan had learned all he could from the Sentinel, he went off from the village to serve as a mercenary. He was hired by many to escort caravans, eliminate threats to villages and deliver letters.

The Sentinel that trained him sent word to him about the rising threat of the Qiraji. Telvan quickly made his way to the Sentinel and she tasked him with protecting a small village close to the front lines. Telvan sent for his brother to join him in the defense.

On a cold winter night, The village was attacked by the Qiraji. He fought bravely but was eventually injured late in the war. He had been fighting a Qiraji warrior when he missed a strike and the warrior took the opening to impale his upper arm. He was saved by his older brother Tanavar and taken away to be healed. The magics of the night elves saved his life but he was unable to fight for the rest of the war.

After the war ended, Telvan spent much of his time meditating and practicing with his glaives. His brother Tanavar begins to look into Illidan's betrayal and Telvan was broken when his brother was shunned by his own people.

When Achimonde marched on the World Tree, Telvan was one of the first to heed Malfurions call to arms. He quickly made his way to Mount Hyjal and prepared for battle alongside the Humans and Orcs (Though he was wary of the Orcs.) One night, he had drinks with a human known as Ethan Flatts. He bonded with this human and created a brotherhood with him that could only be created by warriors sharing a similar goal.

When the battle broke out, Telvan fought alongside Ethan and together they defeated many undead. Ethan was wounded when an undead warrior took him by surprise and ran him through with a spear. Telvan rushed to his friends aid but nothing could be done. In Ethan's dying breath he asked that he be buried in Stormwind. Telvan swore to take him home and honor his dying wish.

Telvan retired from his mercenary work and went with the Alliance back to the Eastern Kingdoms, taking Ethan's body with him. It took Telvan 3 months to get Ethan back to Stormwind and bury his body. Now that he has honored his friends dying wish, he visits the grave everyday before dusk and shares a drink with Ethan, reveling in the memories of the night before the battle.

Telvan now lives in Stormwind, doing odd jobs to maintain himself.

[Image: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRj3YaVcOr2nEYN1oNvBdz...g8q7_cYGbw]
"I'm looking for a very hard man to find." "Wa'do?"
- A conversation between Sul'Ji and the cut throat Kairam
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#2
You might want to check out that mistake in the title: ''Rogue''
You' seek me help?

[Image: vt4s.jpg]
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#3
Furion was a nickname for Malfurion, and after WC3:RoC, he's always reffered to as such, so I'd change that, personally.

Other than nit-picking, I'd like to see Telvan's personality expanded (and they'll tell you to do so anyway), in so far as expanding on the fact that he seems to be, at first glance, very balanced. That it, the only two lines you give show that he wants to swing one way, but knows that he can't all the time. Does this apply to anything else in his persona, or is it just quirk on these two issues?

Also, why was he trying to steal fish, when he could easily have fished for some himself? Someone with more Night Elf lore knowledge should correct me if I'm wrong, but that's rather irregular for one to try and steal, being as they seem very helpful (to their own race, if nothing else). How did his family react to hearing that he'd been stealing?

Also, two years to get from Kalimdor to the Eastern Kingdoms seems a bit excessive, especially when there's ships going straight into Stormwind's docks, though I could be wrong.
Feedback

[Image: ad300x100.png]
Lendri made me do it! Her signature sucked me in!

Spoiler:
[Image: 3801bacbd658b72b4b2b54b893f5ce535d54636d...264c_1.jpg]
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#4
I'd like to add to that that I sincerely doubt the Kaldorei would give a male a choice between whipping and the military. Especially so considering joining the military is a pretty big honour among Night Elves and that's not even mentioning the fact that men in the military were a rarity to begin with. I'm no expert, I'll admit so maybe someone better suited could take another look at that.
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#5
Changes are up

[Image: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRj3YaVcOr2nEYN1oNvBdz...g8q7_cYGbw]
"I'm looking for a very hard man to find." "Wa'do?"
- A conversation between Sul'Ji and the cut throat Kairam
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#6
The main problem is still that, as a male, he joined the military. The Sentinels did not have men until after the battle of Hyjal, and that was no more than 10 years ago.
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#7
Howdy, Randomzac! You've got a solid basis here with your story and personality, but there's a few timeline and lore discrepancies in your history that I'm going to run through.

Quote:His father had fought for Malfurion during the War of the Ancients and lost his life.

At his current age, Telvan would have been born during the War of the Ancients itself (note that the wiki's night elf timeline is slightly off in its dating; it's being fixed!). This also means that being born at the foot of Mount Hyjal would be... problematic at best. Demons don't make good midwifes! :P

Quote:Some of the Village elders suggested that Telvan go into the military

As Rokhjin and FlyingSquirrel have said, this wouldn't happen. To give you some clarification, as I'm assuming that you're basing this off of Jarod Shadowsong's position as commander during the War of the Ancients, the Sentinels were created shortly after the War of the Ancients as a replacement for the army, and they're entirely female. Also, he wouldn't have been considered remotely fit for a fighting position until he was around 300 years old - that's when night elves are considered socially mature.

Although elven males were almost entirely druids or craftsmen, the almost is there. There were some... unofficial fighters around, we assume, and I'd recommend you making Telvan one of these if you'd like to keep your concept. He might not be a part of the army, but he'll still aid the Sentinels where he can, unofficially. A more liberal Sentinel would probably be willing to teach him!

Aside from those two things, you're completely fine lore-wise. Good job!
[Image: RtK7PiZ.png]
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#8
Night elf lore is difficult and I appreciate the help guys!

[Image: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRj3YaVcOr2nEYN1oNvBdz...g8q7_cYGbw]
"I'm looking for a very hard man to find." "Wa'do?"
- A conversation between Sul'Ji and the cut throat Kairam
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#9
Randomzac, if you want more personalized help, you can PM me and I can give you my skype or we can talk in game to figure this out.
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#10
Hey there, Randomzac!

Could you add another line or two into your personality section?


Quote:The Satyr had got the drop on Tanavar while he was looking for some herbs. Telvan heard his cries for help and rushed to his brothers aid. Telvan was able to get the drop on the Satyr by sneaking around the back of the Satyr while he was preoccupied with Tanavar.

Would you mind using different terminology in the above highlighted sections?


Quote:Some of the Village elders suggested that Telvan go into the military after seeing how well he handled the Satyr. Telvan heeded their advice and climbed Mount Hyjal with a letter from the Elders, depicting the event. The Kaldorei Military took the young Telvan and began to train him, seeing the potential in him.

I would strongly advise changing this. Village elders wouldn't advise Telvan to break their set-in-stone traditions. Ten years ago, however, he would have been able to join the Sentinels when the gender roles faded away ten years ago. This would trickle down through the profile and change the events that occurred. Gender roles for males include being a crafter, fisherman, sailor, or a druid.

Let us know when these changes are made, please!
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#11
I shall make changes asap. I don't have access to a computer as of now (I am replying through my phone) Once again, thank you all for your help.

[Image: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRj3YaVcOr2nEYN1oNvBdz...g8q7_cYGbw]
"I'm looking for a very hard man to find." "Wa'do?"
- A conversation between Sul'Ji and the cut throat Kairam
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#12
(08-27-2013, 10:32 AM)Randomzac Wrote: I shall make changes asap. I don't have access to a computer as of now (I am replying through my phone) Once again, thank you all for your help.

Alrighty! Just let us know when those changes are up! :)
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#13
Changes are up

[Image: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRj3YaVcOr2nEYN1oNvBdz...g8q7_cYGbw]
"I'm looking for a very hard man to find." "Wa'do?"
- A conversation between Sul'Ji and the cut throat Kairam
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#14
Good work. Approved!

Wikified!
[Image: RtK7PiZ.png]
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