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What is this? RUI FEEDBACK!
#1
Well time to update! This was old so I say OUT WITH OLD and in with new!

*Grizal coughs into a microphone* "ALRIGHT LADIES AND GENTS time to the game of INTEROGATE MY MASTER OF HIS FEEDBACK!"

So lets meet our contestants shall we?!

Rydel Flamerunner The Lazy Archer.

Zakie'lie Troll assassin that has more of a funny bone then anything.

Drakonivon "Blades" Mc'Dorwal The First Mate of the Blood Paw, The bard of the Salty Sailor, The charmer of women.

Tandalyn Sunfire Eldest Daughter of the Sunfire house.

Jarokk Brother of Vedajo and watcher of the Tauren lands.

Now I know I have more characters but these are the ones I usually always focus on, as well, don't be iffy for taking a shot at me as a person, anything to fix my RP would always be taken with arms with open because that is just what I do. :)

Anyway, let the Interro~ I mean Feed back begin!
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#2
I think my only complaint of Sir Ruibarra (You, the player) would be that your grammar is not the best, and that will come with time. It's rather... the way you phrase things often feels really clunky and unfluid, if that makes sense. Oh, and I just thought of another thing; I'm not sure why, but it's hard for me to take your characters seriously. Even Ruibarra--sometimes I don't feel like your characters are real people. It's a bit like plastic, if you know what I mean. I'm not saying you're a bad RPer or a bad writer, but I would merely recommend that you try to react more realistically to events around your characters. Then again, I haven't RP'd with you much aside from with Astus, so that's just what I've noticed from our brief encounters.
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#3
*nod* Indeed, I am not the greatest person with grammar. My mother always told me that I was a math man and that alone, I truely believe her because I am the enemy of every grammar nazi out there.

To the plastic comment, of course I can see what you mean, because in our breif encounter near the beginning of my Rp adventure, you know what can that one guy think about scarabs into his chest? XD On any note, Ruibarra is usually never taken seriously for the main reason that, he never takes anything personally. But thank you for the feedback ;D
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#4
Bump is required!
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#5
Buppety!
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#6
Bump again >.>
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#7
The battle we had in the Izshani tournament was very enjoyable. I usually don't talk though my fights like that, but you were very open to my ideas and had some of your own to offer. It was different for me to actually plan out a fire before it started. Thank you for being patient with me and giving me the opportunity to tread new OOC waters.
The true test of his choice lies forward.
— The story of the Silithian.


See life through shades of silver.
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#8
As always, very happy to help! Seems time to update this thread! Thank you for the feedback!
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#9
Updated with current characters!
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#10
Ohai, Rui. Been a while since we really RPed, and it seems like the uncle/niece idea we had sorta fell through, since he's off to war.

So! The main bit of feedback I have for is...stop using so many ellipses in your IC posts! I'll quote your Gray Diaries post here, for example:

Spoiler:
(08-07-2013, 07:05 AM)Ruibarra Wrote: Grizal diary-

(There are some doodles of planes and an exploding boat around the corners.)

Eh? So...been part'a this..erm -thing- for less then Twenty four hours now...and let me think how this all transpaired so far...

Well first off, ah wake up an' BAM! Tabard thrown in my face...talk abou' wakin' up at the wrong time eh? That Rensin bloak saw me sleepin on the table and threw a tabard on me...only followed cause it was the group I wanted to look inta'...ironic..heh..anyway! After tha' got thrown onta' ah boat..why? Ah dono..though' we were gonna go catch fairies or some shi~ BUT NO! damn boat comes outta' no where? BAM cannonballs everywhere..go' ta slide first bade into some sweet chic.(still know no ones names) and had her fall on me..least she smelled nice...

Anyway..got up and guess what? COPTERS flyin' at us like its'a home land invasion'r somthing...so some paratroopers so I blasted on in his nads right into the ocean...yup that'll teach'm...then his ditsy ass cousin'r somthin lost control of that parachute and fell on me! Bastard ah immediatly thought which way he rolled...ah well least he didn' flirt while fallin' on me...so know wha'? turned him to a sheep, up...made'm -baaaaaaaa-ck off...okay..not necessary...ANYWA though'ah was done with that guy then he bit me! the bloody bit me! then he changed back...greeeatt..good thing more fockin' cannons came outt'a no where and blew his ass back on me..up musta -fall-in in love with me~..okay gonna stop that... so know wha? Blasted his ass off the ship and watched him get pelted with'a cannonball...apparenly he forgo' how to fly...ah well...after tha' when up to help the driver...he pushed the guy to me so I stuck him with some goo'ol C4 and blasted him off the ship to meet'a nother cannon ball.. can you say...FIREWORKS! Yup he was the -explosion- of the show..damned it...anyway...saw the berts leaving the ship thinkin' it was about to explode so I jumped with the boss man and the hot chick..only to find out was the damned captians pocket watch...ah well we leave and party and ah fell asleep... good'nuff for me..

Imagine if you're really writing, on a piece of paper, and you dotted that many ellipses. You don't! I can't imagine writing like that. Diary writing usually flows as a stream of thought, and these little dots break it up something fierce. This ellipse-fest more or less expresses something in the mind, rather than on paper.

So, yeah. Stop! Enough! And that goes for any other writers out there! Let the poor little buggers rest!

I'll give you notes on your gob when I see him more.
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#11
*hugs Corz* Yes ma'am T.T also a shame Alfred is off the war, he'll make sure to write! Must...keep bond...with neice...!
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#12
Well! Bumpity! New character added!
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#13
I do believe...a bump is needed for such occasion!
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#14
Whelp, here we go..BUMP!
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#15
We need to have similar times again.

Sent from the mobile beard via Tapatalk2!
The true test of his choice lies forward.
— The story of the Silithian.


See life through shades of silver.
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