09-16-2010, 02:27 AM
Journal.
I find myself in an interesting state of mind currently. There are things I now think of that I barely considered before in the past. Love. Freedom. Desire. Disturbing thoughts for one of my position, but I think them despite what my fellow's views on the matter might be.
Freedom. The thought never crossed my mind after the Dark Lady took me in. At least, up until now. The apothecary I once served has abandoned me to the organization he had me join. My sole task right now is to wait for a package that, frankly, I do not believe will ever come. From my time with him, I came to believe the Apothecary simply did not care about the fate of his lackeys, so it would not be past him to simply leave me.
This also leaves me attached to the Bloodsworn Honorguard, who are most likely the reason I feel these terrible thoughts. Their Shaman spoke to me and well, the experience was what caused me to think like this. Her words reminded me of the fact that I was a slave to my Queen. But there was something else that I can't place my finger on. I think she believed I could be more. Yes, I believe those were her words. I could be more. I could not be a slave.
I try to convince myself that her words are pure blasphemy, but I find it difficult for some reason.
Love. What a strange thing. It seems to fill the ranks of these Orcs in one way or another. They display the love one feels for a comrade. Or maybe the love one feels for a wife, or a mate, or whatever these greenskins call it. And every time I see a display a love, it only reminds me of a fleeting memory. One I barely hang onto in this day and age.
You see, I keep a tiny ring on me at all times, yet to be frank, I barely remember where I obtained it. When I look at this small golden object, it brings to mind memories of a woman. Dieing. By the hands of a human soldier. Normally I care little for the deaths of the living, but for some reason, this is different. I feel so many things when gazing upon this keepsake. Rage. Anger. Sorrow. Guilt. Some other strange emotions I cannot name. And I know not why I feel them. But my time observing these Bloodsworn has made me think. What if it is love? What if I knew this woman?
This of course, leads to desire. I desire my memories. I want to know what I once was. So perhaps staying with these Orcs will provoke my mind more. I do not know if it will happen, or if it will be beneficial. And yet, I will stay.
Currently, I find myself in Northrend, the damnable land that the Lich King once ruled over. Hopefully I will find myself in battle soon. Killing always soothes the mind.
-Versich
I find myself in an interesting state of mind currently. There are things I now think of that I barely considered before in the past. Love. Freedom. Desire. Disturbing thoughts for one of my position, but I think them despite what my fellow's views on the matter might be.
Freedom. The thought never crossed my mind after the Dark Lady took me in. At least, up until now. The apothecary I once served has abandoned me to the organization he had me join. My sole task right now is to wait for a package that, frankly, I do not believe will ever come. From my time with him, I came to believe the Apothecary simply did not care about the fate of his lackeys, so it would not be past him to simply leave me.
This also leaves me attached to the Bloodsworn Honorguard, who are most likely the reason I feel these terrible thoughts. Their Shaman spoke to me and well, the experience was what caused me to think like this. Her words reminded me of the fact that I was a slave to my Queen. But there was something else that I can't place my finger on. I think she believed I could be more. Yes, I believe those were her words. I could be more. I could not be a slave.
I try to convince myself that her words are pure blasphemy, but I find it difficult for some reason.
Love. What a strange thing. It seems to fill the ranks of these Orcs in one way or another. They display the love one feels for a comrade. Or maybe the love one feels for a wife, or a mate, or whatever these greenskins call it. And every time I see a display a love, it only reminds me of a fleeting memory. One I barely hang onto in this day and age.
You see, I keep a tiny ring on me at all times, yet to be frank, I barely remember where I obtained it. When I look at this small golden object, it brings to mind memories of a woman. Dieing. By the hands of a human soldier. Normally I care little for the deaths of the living, but for some reason, this is different. I feel so many things when gazing upon this keepsake. Rage. Anger. Sorrow. Guilt. Some other strange emotions I cannot name. And I know not why I feel them. But my time observing these Bloodsworn has made me think. What if it is love? What if I knew this woman?
This of course, leads to desire. I desire my memories. I want to know what I once was. So perhaps staying with these Orcs will provoke my mind more. I do not know if it will happen, or if it will be beneficial. And yet, I will stay.
Currently, I find myself in Northrend, the damnable land that the Lich King once ruled over. Hopefully I will find myself in battle soon. Killing always soothes the mind.
-Versich