03-15-2011, 11:18 AM
I have long noticed that many players here use the word "would" as some sort of pointless filler in their sentences. This, my friends, is entirely unacceptable. Are we truly so ignorant of the laws of the English language? This error is common, and lacks any legitimate precedent; even the typically-worthy excuse of "English as a second language" is hardly valid, as would is a simple and common word with a meaning that should be understood by all even reasonably competent users of the language.
As an example of the error, many players, during emotes or forum RP, will express a course of action thusly:
"Doom Melon would raise his hands as they burst into flame, looking mildly scary. Singing the song of his people, he would do something threatening."
This is incorrect. Would is conditional; it is not even indicating future tense (which is incorrect anyway; emotes are written in the present tense), it is indicating a future possibility.
You might say, "But Hiddengecko, I was deliberately writing in the future tense!" If you do this, you are a bad person and the grammar gnomes will find you and beat you with their titanium interrobangs until you plead for the merciful embrace of death. You do not write in the future tense unless you are actually predicting something, and this in case will is typically used rather than would. Also, if you change tense in any written work, you are doing it wrong and the aforementioned interrobang-beating will ensue.
This could be used to compensate for sloppy writing if used conditionally, as in: "Doom Melon, if allowed to do so by his nearby enemies, would raise his hands over his head as they burst into flame." Conditions must be established, however, and it would be far better writing (and reading) if it was phrased in such a way as "Doom Melon begins to raise his hands, eying his enemies threateningly," or, "Doom Melon attempts to raise his hands over his head and do a little dance."
If this is allowed to continue, terrible things will happen. Players from Retail will be drawn here by our grievous grammatical errors like carrion fowl to the scent of a rancid corpse. They will roll relatives of lore characters, flagrant copies of other videogame characters--or anime characters of the least-appealing kind. They will spread through Booty Bay and Goldshire, clumsily ERPing tastelessly and without any compelling dialogue and development.
The blood of our server is on your hands, my friends!
As an example of the error, many players, during emotes or forum RP, will express a course of action thusly:
"Doom Melon would raise his hands as they burst into flame, looking mildly scary. Singing the song of his people, he would do something threatening."
This is incorrect. Would is conditional; it is not even indicating future tense (which is incorrect anyway; emotes are written in the present tense), it is indicating a future possibility.
You might say, "But Hiddengecko, I was deliberately writing in the future tense!" If you do this, you are a bad person and the grammar gnomes will find you and beat you with their titanium interrobangs until you plead for the merciful embrace of death. You do not write in the future tense unless you are actually predicting something, and this in case will is typically used rather than would. Also, if you change tense in any written work, you are doing it wrong and the aforementioned interrobang-beating will ensue.
This could be used to compensate for sloppy writing if used conditionally, as in: "Doom Melon, if allowed to do so by his nearby enemies, would raise his hands over his head as they burst into flame." Conditions must be established, however, and it would be far better writing (and reading) if it was phrased in such a way as "Doom Melon begins to raise his hands, eying his enemies threateningly," or, "Doom Melon attempts to raise his hands over his head and do a little dance."
If this is allowed to continue, terrible things will happen. Players from Retail will be drawn here by our grievous grammatical errors like carrion fowl to the scent of a rancid corpse. They will roll relatives of lore characters, flagrant copies of other videogame characters--or anime characters of the least-appealing kind. They will spread through Booty Bay and Goldshire, clumsily ERPing tastelessly and without any compelling dialogue and development.
The blood of our server is on your hands, my friends!
