05-22-2011, 11:36 AM
Cressy Wrote:You know when you date someone? And even after you break up you try to be friends or try to get back together..but it just isn't the same or as good as you remember it being...?
These words have been haunting me for a long time, since they hold true for me. I admit I did have fun at CotH, but overtime, that amount of fun diminished to below zero.
Longer story in this spoiler. (Cause I feel like telling someone and I think someone will enjoy it.)
Spoiler:
So when I joined CoTH I didn't know anything about lore. I still don't. Seriously. I know there's Illidan that's a night elf, and all sorts of races and asteroids, but not much else.
My first introduction was by the name "Helemeri", and it was denied. Because I was a cocky little person then, I still am though. Then I made another one and got through, basically by acting I was convenient. Then I logged on as Azheron, I made an orc named "Urk", whom was a braindead schizophrenic. ... It was bloody terrible. Then I left the server because erm... I got bored. I did come back later though, to create a new personality, Baran'ji. A stuttering troll. Though the only reason I made him was to impress my girlfriend whom was also on the server. Not even slightly pathetic, right?
I did impress her though, that event innovated a new character in my brilliant mind, he was named Helmer (SIMILARITIES ANYONE?), and he was my main character. He wasn't made up though, it was basically just me in an in-game form.
Nice roleplaying there Azheron.
I had all sorts of crazy thief fun on him, I also got him in a relationship at a similar time I was in a relationship myself. I was reaaaally in looove, and that meant that Helmer was also in loooove. He also went back and forth with my own mood, which agrovated the people I rp'd with, since sometimes he was depressed and other times he was depressed.
Well as any relationship, after six months, my perfect relationship also broke down. Because of our distance, which was a train trip away. As a mutual decision.
Anyway, that screwed Helmer up real bad. He became one suicidal thief, so to say, and sometimes I RP'd for a full night, and went to school without sleep. Needless to say that fucked my head up quite nicely, there were weird periods of time when I felt like I was roleplaying myself and doing all sorts of weird things. This emotional rollercoaster was, well, exciting to say, at least. I feel as if it can't be topped by any experience.
Then after the the person that played the girlfriend of Helmer left, I moved on to mess my troll character up. And I did.
I RP'd with some people after my characters had gone mad, representing the real me, actually. But the awesomeness, as I said, diminished overtime. Every relationship in this game, was to me, as if it was real. As if I LIVED the character. But now? I'm just hanging on in the past too much to live the present. And to me, CoTH is the past.
Everytime I login to CotH now, it reminds me of my own failure, and I simply can not take it anymore. I made a lot of empty promises here, I'm never going to keep those. Sorry guys. And girls.
And we're down to the wire, the reason I can't RP here anymore. Anything I do feels dull. Gray.
My first introduction was by the name "Helemeri", and it was denied. Because I was a cocky little person then, I still am though. Then I made another one and got through, basically by acting I was convenient. Then I logged on as Azheron, I made an orc named "Urk", whom was a braindead schizophrenic. ... It was bloody terrible. Then I left the server because erm... I got bored. I did come back later though, to create a new personality, Baran'ji. A stuttering troll. Though the only reason I made him was to impress my girlfriend whom was also on the server. Not even slightly pathetic, right?
I did impress her though, that event innovated a new character in my brilliant mind, he was named Helmer (SIMILARITIES ANYONE?), and he was my main character. He wasn't made up though, it was basically just me in an in-game form.
Nice roleplaying there Azheron.
I had all sorts of crazy thief fun on him, I also got him in a relationship at a similar time I was in a relationship myself. I was reaaaally in looove, and that meant that Helmer was also in loooove. He also went back and forth with my own mood, which agrovated the people I rp'd with, since sometimes he was depressed and other times he was depressed.
Well as any relationship, after six months, my perfect relationship also broke down. Because of our distance, which was a train trip away. As a mutual decision.
Anyway, that screwed Helmer up real bad. He became one suicidal thief, so to say, and sometimes I RP'd for a full night, and went to school without sleep. Needless to say that fucked my head up quite nicely, there were weird periods of time when I felt like I was roleplaying myself and doing all sorts of weird things. This emotional rollercoaster was, well, exciting to say, at least. I feel as if it can't be topped by any experience.
Then after the the person that played the girlfriend of Helmer left, I moved on to mess my troll character up. And I did.
I RP'd with some people after my characters had gone mad, representing the real me, actually. But the awesomeness, as I said, diminished overtime. Every relationship in this game, was to me, as if it was real. As if I LIVED the character. But now? I'm just hanging on in the past too much to live the present. And to me, CoTH is the past.
Everytime I login to CotH now, it reminds me of my own failure, and I simply can not take it anymore. I made a lot of empty promises here, I'm never going to keep those. Sorry guys. And girls.
And we're down to the wire, the reason I can't RP here anymore. Anything I do feels dull. Gray.
Special thanks to Skaar, AlianaS, flammos200, c0rzilla, foxlike and some other people for believing me when I didn't, and just being awesome friends, unlike me.
Bye everyone.
(The point of this post? To explain to people why I don't log on anymore.)