11-04-2011, 10:19 PM
Evening friends,
There's a topic which has been increasingly brought up to me. It's hands down to me the most commonly cited rule, and over the course of my time as a GM I'm sad to say it is likely the one most broken as well.
With that forward out of the way...
I've talked briefly on the matter of respect in the past. I think it deserves its own spill of text this time, though, so that I may fully formulate my thoughts.
The rule of respect is rule number one for a reason. It isn't a matter which is negotiable, and it isn't a rule that is hard to discern. Unlike a retail server, CotH isn't one in which deep dislike and hatred lends itself well to. Unlike retail, you are more likely than not to see the same players when you get on every day. The crowd isn't massive; while it may be big, it's difficult to say that every day you'll meet a new person, or will never know any of the people online in the slightest.
CotH isn't a server built off of anonymity, and neither is RP in general. Roleplayers make friends with other roleplayers, collaborate on stories and develop characters together-- That's difficult to do with those you don't trust or simply do not know. This also goes hand in hand with respect, as with respect comes trust and civility. If you want a reason to give respect to your fellow players I would encourage you to check an argument on the official WoW forums; it isn't usually the most inspiring sight, suffice to say.
Respect is just something that should be innate. I'm always surprised, then, when the following arguments are presented to me.
Allow me to retort with an example of my own, in this case.
Obviously my favored of these is the first, but allow me to highlight exactly why.
So is this definition accomplished in Dave's speech? You could say so. He's definitely not beating around the bush on his opinion, that's for sure. There is a point though where you cross a line between 'blunt' and 'rude', though; While Dave's statement does convey that he doesn't like the look of the clothes on nondescriptA, there's also simply a lack of tact that colors it into an offensive light.
Meanwhile Steve has gone too far in the other direction. They want to tell the person what they think, but they also want to comfort them. While not necessarily bad, it also tends to pass the blame off to something else-- it can somewhat give the impression that a mistake isn't at the fault of the guilty party, but is rather explained away in another fashion.
In the end Bill accomplishes what the other two fail to. While nondescriptA may not enjoy being told that they don't look good in what they're wearing, there isn't any kind of edge to the comment which turns it from a personal opinion to a personal attack upon them.
On that note, I fully realize that there are some people who enjoy making personal attacks. There are people who think it is fun to put some grit onto their criticism and to spruce up their arguments with colorful language, both in terms of profanity and otherwise. To that, I refer you to this:
If insulting others gets you kicks, then get out. We don't want you.
Another comment I've heard in the past is that Rule 1 can be one-sided. Some feel they give respect to GMs and players which isn't returned, and thus they feel validated to withhold that. To that I give you this:
This has been done in the past, and it has worked, for those unaware. While it may be difficult to swallow your pride, complying with the rules means that you can't be held at fault, above other things. If you have complaints, voice them to an administrator-- I can assure you that making angry comments out of sight and breaking a rule in response to a breach of a rule will not make you the better person. If you have an issue with another user or a GM, you shouldn't be the one to enforce those complaints if you feel you cannot do so in a civil manner. The GM team exists for a reason, and it is more than to give aid in RP.
Speaking of being the better person:
Odds are you aren't chummy with everyone on CotH. Odds are that there are people you even greatly disliked-- And that's find; just the normal workings of things. No one is asking anyone to hug one another or prance around singing songs; as much as it would improve the server, you simply can't force people to like one another. Above all else, what we want in terms of respect here on CotH is civility. Making that work through the internet can be hard for some people; it is easy to find yourself talking to a wall of text, and not another person on the other side of the screen. To be unable to make that distinction is not something others should be forced to just stand by and deal with.
I'm not sure if this post fully conveys what I mean it to. But heck, that's usually about any post I make. I hope there's some knowledge to be gleaned here. That's it from me, for now.
There's a topic which has been increasingly brought up to me. It's hands down to me the most commonly cited rule, and over the course of my time as a GM I'm sad to say it is likely the one most broken as well.
With that forward out of the way...
CotHWiki Wrote:Be respectful. At all times. This is not optional. Show respect to your fellow players, regardless of their faction or affiliation. We are all playing this game to enjoy it, and being rude or disrespectful to another player does not enhance anyone's enjoyment. If it enhances your own enjoyment, you undoubtedly do not belong on this server. Being respectful is easy enough if you think about it. Even players that you dislike or seem unable to get along with can be treated with respect. When all else fails, the IGNORE filter is in place for a reason.
Respect GM requests and decisions, and treat them as final. Do not argue over kicks, suspensions, or bans unless you HONESTLY feel it was a case of mistaken identity. In that case, you may contact Grakor and make your case. If it is determined that it was not a case of mistaken identity, then do not argue further.
If you are not the person who was suspended, do not appeal kicks, suspensions, or bans. This is the business of the kicked/suspended/banned player ONLY. If you insist on speaking on the behalf of someone else, you will be suspended. Don't do it. Also, if you were banned, and you come back, you will be banned AGAIN. Don't look so shocked.
Defiance of GMs also lies under this rule. If a GM tells you to do something, DO IT. Even if you don't agree with it. If you have a concern, bring it up with Grakor via PM.
I've talked briefly on the matter of respect in the past. I think it deserves its own spill of text this time, though, so that I may fully formulate my thoughts.
The rule of respect is rule number one for a reason. It isn't a matter which is negotiable, and it isn't a rule that is hard to discern. Unlike a retail server, CotH isn't one in which deep dislike and hatred lends itself well to. Unlike retail, you are more likely than not to see the same players when you get on every day. The crowd isn't massive; while it may be big, it's difficult to say that every day you'll meet a new person, or will never know any of the people online in the slightest.
CotH isn't a server built off of anonymity, and neither is RP in general. Roleplayers make friends with other roleplayers, collaborate on stories and develop characters together-- That's difficult to do with those you don't trust or simply do not know. This also goes hand in hand with respect, as with respect comes trust and civility. If you want a reason to give respect to your fellow players I would encourage you to check an argument on the official WoW forums; it isn't usually the most inspiring sight, suffice to say.
Respect is just something that should be innate. I'm always surprised, then, when the following arguments are presented to me.
Strawman Wrote:I'm not disrespectful, I just don't walk on eggshells when it comes to saying how I feel.
Strawman Wrote:I'm not rude-- I just don't sugarcoat things.
Allow me to retort with an example of my own, in this case.
Strawman Bill Wrote:Those pants don't suit you.
Strawman Dave Wrote:You look fat in those.
Strawman Steve Wrote:You don't look so good in those, but that's just how they're made.
Obviously my favored of these is the first, but allow me to highlight exactly why.
Strawman Dave Wrote:You look fat in those.Dave is what many people might call as 'blunt', including airquotes. But, to lift a page out of the dictionary...
Quote:Blunt: characterized by directness in manner or speech; without subtlety or evasion. outspoken; direct and to the point.
So is this definition accomplished in Dave's speech? You could say so. He's definitely not beating around the bush on his opinion, that's for sure. There is a point though where you cross a line between 'blunt' and 'rude', though; While Dave's statement does convey that he doesn't like the look of the clothes on nondescriptA, there's also simply a lack of tact that colors it into an offensive light.
Meanwhile Steve has gone too far in the other direction. They want to tell the person what they think, but they also want to comfort them. While not necessarily bad, it also tends to pass the blame off to something else-- it can somewhat give the impression that a mistake isn't at the fault of the guilty party, but is rather explained away in another fashion.
In the end Bill accomplishes what the other two fail to. While nondescriptA may not enjoy being told that they don't look good in what they're wearing, there isn't any kind of edge to the comment which turns it from a personal opinion to a personal attack upon them.
On that note, I fully realize that there are some people who enjoy making personal attacks. There are people who think it is fun to put some grit onto their criticism and to spruce up their arguments with colorful language, both in terms of profanity and otherwise. To that, I refer you to this:
CotHWiki Wrote:being rude or disrespectful to another player does not enhance anyone's enjoyment. If it enhances your own enjoyment, you undoubtedly do not belong on this server.
If insulting others gets you kicks, then get out. We don't want you.
Another comment I've heard in the past is that Rule 1 can be one-sided. Some feel they give respect to GMs and players which isn't returned, and thus they feel validated to withhold that. To that I give you this:
CotHWiki Wrote:If a GM tells you to do something, DO IT. Even if you don't agree with it. If you have a concern, bring it up with Grakor via PM.
This has been done in the past, and it has worked, for those unaware. While it may be difficult to swallow your pride, complying with the rules means that you can't be held at fault, above other things. If you have complaints, voice them to an administrator-- I can assure you that making angry comments out of sight and breaking a rule in response to a breach of a rule will not make you the better person. If you have an issue with another user or a GM, you shouldn't be the one to enforce those complaints if you feel you cannot do so in a civil manner. The GM team exists for a reason, and it is more than to give aid in RP.
Speaking of being the better person:
CotHWiki Wrote:Even players that you dislike or seem unable to get along with can be treated with respect.
Odds are you aren't chummy with everyone on CotH. Odds are that there are people you even greatly disliked-- And that's find; just the normal workings of things. No one is asking anyone to hug one another or prance around singing songs; as much as it would improve the server, you simply can't force people to like one another. Above all else, what we want in terms of respect here on CotH is civility. Making that work through the internet can be hard for some people; it is easy to find yourself talking to a wall of text, and not another person on the other side of the screen. To be unable to make that distinction is not something others should be forced to just stand by and deal with.
I'm not sure if this post fully conveys what I mean it to. But heck, that's usually about any post I make. I hope there's some knowledge to be gleaned here. That's it from me, for now.