Conquest of the Horde

Hello friends,


Apologies are a funny thing, aren't they?

Here on CotH we argue a lot. I can go back and pull up many of the recent drama threads which have been surfacing, and I'm almost completely certain that when looking through these threads there were better ways to accomplish things. Better words to say, posts best left unposted, so forth. Through these threads and through the forum as a whole we argue and fight a ton, but I seldom ever see any apologies or compromises. Should people be forced to apologize to those they insult? No, that's just a band-aid. A forced condolence doesn't mean nearly as much as some would think.

I've lost my train of thought very quickly. I believe I'll sum this up. Do you really want to make the server better? Fighting won't do that, as much as you feel that you would accomplish by bashing on another player. Compromise and apologize where need be. Idealistic? Perhaps. I still feel that even if a small group could be fostered which acts in this manner, we would be a better place for it. Since I'm into the whole 'practice what you preach' bit, I guess I'm up on that note.


To Everyone: Well this is a bit of a broad group, isn't it? To the server and all who are members, I apologize. I realize that my methods may at times be cruder than you would wish them to be, and I fully understand that I have my own opinions which are departed from some of your own. If it is any consolation, then I will say that everything I have done in my capacity as a GM has been with good intent. If I have made any decisions which directly or indirectly have affected you, know that each of those was done because at the time I had the betterment of the server itself in mind. Perhaps I was misguided in my belief or simply too stubborn to alter my views, but I will say with certainty that I have never made a decision with the sole intent being to negatively impact anyone. If you feel that I have, I apologize again.


To the Staff: I've said things in confidence of the staff that I suppose I owe an apology for specifically as well. I reiterate the above, that I do not reject ideas or dissent to any action simply out of spite. It is little secret that I do not always get along with the entirety of the team, and for that I can partly lay blame on myself. I am not a social person, usually. I am not typically inclined to work within any group, just as I generally have issues with communicating my desires to any collection of people. It may very well be that you are one of those people whom I do not know well, and because of that I have been apprehensive and, at times, negative. I cannot apologize for all of my actions, but there are still many which I can do so for. In any capacity, I apologize if I have been seen as unfair to you at any point. Such was never my intention.


To Grakor: I feel sick whenever I have to bring a problem to you, Grakor. There are times where I feel that most of our interactions are my complaints and reports, and for that I'm sorry. You're my friend as well, and I don't think I have always made that very evident with as many times as I have gone to you for quick resolutions and affirmations. I guess I feel at times that I'm speaking more GM to Admin instead of a friend to a friend, and for that I apologize greatly.


To my Friends: I really owe you guys one. For any concern or comfort you've given me, and for any prods to keep me in check in the past. I know I have, at times, become too engrossed. I know that at times CotH has rendered me depressed or angry, and if I have ever let that steam out in your direction I apologize. If that instead has ever brought concern to you, I apologize even more. I am a very reactionary person, though. I get depressed, happy, angry, anything without too much nudging, and I realize at times this has become so bad that I've been asked by others IRL if I'm feeling ill or not. I know I've got that way during the latest spout of drama, and I really don't mean to make you guys an outlet for my frustration if I have done so unknowingly.


My name is Rigley, and I am a player and a content-centered gamemaster of Conquest of the Horde. I am depressive, cynical, irate, stubborn, and at times vindictive. And while it may not always seem like it, I mean the best and I hope for the best. And I apologize if my views and actions have ever brought you discomfort or anger.


If you want to do me a favor, there is a button at the bottom of this post. It says 'Message', and if you have any issue with me (or wish to discuss any issue with me) click that box and speak with me about it. The blind can't lead the blind after all, and as I have said in the past I will not learn if my error is not made evident. My only request is that the discussion be civil, because I'm not sure how many more bouts of anger I can take at this point. If you do PM me I will endeavor to understand your complaint and -will- speak with you over it. Otherwise, I appreciate any thoughts you might leave below this post.

I guess that's it. Thanks for reading if you took the time to.


-Rigley

I takes big brass balls to apologize over the internet. I don't know why, it just does, and that's why a lot of people never do. I remember back in May or something when I actually kicked up quite a bit of drama for the banning of a friend and insulted a -whole lot of people.- However, that was dumb of me and I ended up apologizing the very next day and it ended up solving a lot of it. Apologies -do- go a long way.

As for you Rigley, you apologized for, well, basically everything, so that means you have big brass balls and I respect you for that.

And to the rest of you; remember that good manners cost nothing and goes a long way with the people around you.

As I usually say...


Or: "Be kind. For everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

Thank you for addressing this, Rigley, I think it is something we could all keep in our minds and in our hearts. It can be very easy to rise to anger or frustration, but the rewards are usually worth it.

*Pats Rigley on the back* I think I tried an apology once, but I can't really remember. But yes, just as Roxas says, you have quite a large set of Brass Balls. And if it's worth anything, I find you a good person who as done nothing you need to apologize to me (at least) for.

So cheer up and look to the future, we as Coth love chu ^^

Like number 230! Hell yeah.

If it's anything of worth to you, Rig, you do a fine job of being a GM. You do. We've had couple of a couple of conflicts (Only 2 in total, I believe), but honestly? I've just moved on swiftly and I don't really hold anything against you. I still find it easy to get along with you.

I'm not going to get all deep or anything or like that, nor attempt to give some words of wisdom, but I will just truthfully say I'm glad you're around and whatnot. Good job.

(01-17-2012, 07:07 AM)Roxas65 Wrote: [ -> ]It takes big brass balls to apologize over the internet. I don't know why, it just does, and that's why a lot of people never do.

I think this is largely because over the web we can't see the people we argue with. It's human nature to fight, to desire to win our arguments. I'm sure some of you have had arguments with a sibling, or a parent, or a significant other, and whether you are right or wrong, you get to a point where you physically see the toll it takes, as Rigley's RL friends saw. In that moment, our relationship with the person comes out, and we see that as more important than whatever the argument was over, no matter how big or small. We lose that over the medium of the web. We lose that intrinsic thing that helps us better connect with each other and know when things have been taken too far.

Hell, there are studies that discuss how the rise of technology have made us more impersonal. In the digital era, we are put in fewer and fewer situations where we learn to simply deal with people. And it's even harder for the lot that grew up only knowing the new age of technology. Texting replacing phone calling, online gaming replacing hanging out at your friend's house or in the park, etc. And no, I'm not the old fart that believes people don't call or hang out anymore, especially with the people here that do all kinds of fun stuff such as theatre and music. But there is certainly a significant drop in it from years ago. I'm guilty as hell of this myself, and I remember owning a cassette walkman and getting excited about owning my first laptop with Windows 3.1.

It's not that people shouldn't disagree, or argue, because sometimes when you are passionate about something it deserves to be fought for. It's just that we've lost a lot of the tact to approach these arguments. Just remember that there is a person at the other end of the keyboard, and if you can see the frustration in their words, or if you even feel it in your own, then it's time to apologize and evaluate where the disagreement stands, and if it is worth it to continue. Some things will be, but even so, apologizing is an avenue worth going down, as even in the cold void of the web a meaningful 'I'm sorry' let's the other person know that while you disagree, you care enough to listen to what they're saying and how they feel.

(01-17-2012, 07:25 AM)Hawk Wrote: [ -> ]I will just truthfully say I'm glad you're around and whatnot. Good job.

This as well!

I really don't know what to say, and sometimes I'm afraid that what I say won't be helpful, but I know I can agree with you on a lot of things, Rigley, and this is certainly one of them.

I want more compromise and more getting along. I'm tired of the drama and the feel as if we were in some tabloid. I really want coth to be a good thing for the both of us and not something that gets you down or depressed, and it's hard for it to be like that, it seems.

And I'd like us to do things on coth and talk about coth as if it were our past time again, and that we were in a tight-knit community. I think it's alright to have someone on coth you don't like, but we must realize everyone's here to RP and have a good time and we should focus on situations that are best for everyone instead of fighting for what's best for ourselves.

I don't really know you personally, so I can't comment on your moral character. But from what I've observed, you're a pretty decent and swell guy. You shouldn't have to apologize for what you've said or done because, quite frankly, I haven't really seen ya do anything that would warrant it.

Jus' me opinion, 'o course.

But!

Apology accepted.

Don't be too hard on yourself.

Honestly Rig, you do what we all do. You try to make people happy, and in the long road you can't make everyone happy. This can be frustrating, so you can get short, and that's completely normal. I can understand these things taking a toll on you, you've got a lot invested here and you don't want to see anything bad happen.

Without knowing your situation fully, I usually suggest a break. CoTh is something you have to take time off from here and there, and it does a person some good usually. If you don't wanna do that, that's fine too, start enjoying the stuff more, and do things for a while that entertain you, and not just others.


I feel you're not appologizin' to me, because honestly you and I have no beef whatsoever. I will say though apologizing is a good thing, because -boy- do you feel vulnerable afterwards. It takes what Roxas said it takes to do so.

Good luck, and try not to stress out, man! It'll get better.

I'm afraid, due to general stress of the past week, I ought to apologize for coming off as inappropriately angry, resulting in lowered performance in GM duty. But I am grateful you've come to acknowledge what has been happening, and I thank you for this.

I support this message, and condone it. Moreover, I like this kind of attitude to be shown wherever I am, and that includes CotH. I agree that I myself can be very bitter and passive aggressive at times, and it's something I'm not always able to suppress. To put it simply, we all deserve to reel off a few apologies every now and then, for we are human, and we are fallible.

Props, Rigs.