02-03-2012, 05:35 AM
All I ever wanted was to prove to you that I was strong. Since they day I met you, it has always been my drive. Every time you called me weak, I wanted to stand up and prove you wrong. Your approval was all that I wanted from you back then. In time, I wanted more out of you. I wanted what I could not have, and it only made me want those things from you even more. A part of me wishes I would have listened to them when they told me it would not work. They would tell me that since you were dead, you could not feel. That no matter what, no matter how hard I tried, you would not care. And now... I am dead. I am dead and yet I still feel. If I died and I still feel, what is your excuse?
I fought alongside the teacher that actually bothered to guide me through my arts to take down someone who threatened both him and myself. I thought you would be proud that I actually did fight without running and hiding. That I actually tried to defend Larenir like I had always wanted to do. But would you even care? Would you worry about me being in danger? Would you even notice that I was gone from this world? I doubt that you would even bother looking for me. If what they told me before was true, you do not care. The thought of that being true tears me apart inside...
But it gives me drive to return. To come back. I want to be there. I want to make you care. But, even if I do fail again. If I can't make you care, I still care. I know Larenir will never give up on me, and for that, I want to stand by him. Always. And I never want to be stricken down again. I will become stronger. I will prove myself to you. I don't care what Aydendril says about how he wants me to grow up. To be an adult. I am who I am, and if that means I am a child because of it, then so be it.
At least it wasn't the fel guard that killed me like you predicted.
Victim: Doran
Killer: Dalikan
Resurrectors: Ralerian and Annabelle with assistance from Aydendril, Larenir, and Aendron
Temporary effects: Bedridden. Constant pain. Risk of reopening wounds. Lethargy. Delayed healing from Light users.
Long-term effects: Noticeably shaky hands. Fear of humans, especially males riding a horse. Hostility and reluctance to trust new people. Pain from scarred tissue.
Permanent effects: Separation Anxiety, will have major panic attacks if separated from his collar, minor panic attacks when separated certain people (Especially Arilyn, Keyus, or Larenir). Reoccurring night terrors. Minor hand tremors.
I fought alongside the teacher that actually bothered to guide me through my arts to take down someone who threatened both him and myself. I thought you would be proud that I actually did fight without running and hiding. That I actually tried to defend Larenir like I had always wanted to do. But would you even care? Would you worry about me being in danger? Would you even notice that I was gone from this world? I doubt that you would even bother looking for me. If what they told me before was true, you do not care. The thought of that being true tears me apart inside...
But it gives me drive to return. To come back. I want to be there. I want to make you care. But, even if I do fail again. If I can't make you care, I still care. I know Larenir will never give up on me, and for that, I want to stand by him. Always. And I never want to be stricken down again. I will become stronger. I will prove myself to you. I don't care what Aydendril says about how he wants me to grow up. To be an adult. I am who I am, and if that means I am a child because of it, then so be it.
At least it wasn't the fel guard that killed me like you predicted.
No, in those last few moments I faced my opponent.
I stood on my own two feet until I was finally knocked down.
I would be lying to you if I said I wasn't scared.
I was terrified.
I wasn't terrified because I knew I was going to die.
I was terrified because I felt I would never see you or the other ones I care for ever again.
Promise me a few things.
It won't be that difficult, will it?
Promise me you won't give up on me.
That you won't bury me.
That Larenir won't have to cry over me longer than he should.
And most of all, promise me you will be there when I open my eyes.
I stood on my own two feet until I was finally knocked down.
I would be lying to you if I said I wasn't scared.
I was terrified.
I wasn't terrified because I knew I was going to die.
I was terrified because I felt I would never see you or the other ones I care for ever again.
Promise me a few things.
It won't be that difficult, will it?
Promise me you won't give up on me.
That you won't bury me.
That Larenir won't have to cry over me longer than he should.
And most of all, promise me you will be there when I open my eyes.
Victim: Doran
Killer: Dalikan
Resurrectors: Ralerian and Annabelle with assistance from Aydendril, Larenir, and Aendron
Temporary effects: Bedridden. Constant pain. Risk of reopening wounds. Lethargy. Delayed healing from Light users.
Long-term effects: Noticeably shaky hands. Fear of humans, especially males riding a horse. Hostility and reluctance to trust new people. Pain from scarred tissue.
Permanent effects: Separation Anxiety, will have major panic attacks if separated from his collar, minor panic attacks when separated certain people (Especially Arilyn, Keyus, or Larenir). Reoccurring night terrors. Minor hand tremors.