"It crashed. A'course it fuckin' crashed. Knew it was gonna, too; ah said 'If'n 'is t'ing crashes, m'gonna be pissed.'
Well, now'm pissed. Gob'ins'n der wonky tech, 'oo t'ought a flyin' gob'in ship were'a goo'idea? Me, a'guess, 'cause ah'm'n idjit. Wou'n' take'a feckin' por'al, 'cause 'at magic be jus'as wonky, but I t'ought'em go'bin zepp'ins wou'be bet'r? Chu real smart, Rekka, ya.
"'Nyway. Nothin'ta do 'bout't now, ya know? Jus' gotta work'wi'wot we got. Which ain'much.
"So ya. Th'zepp'in crashed. No'un died, 'ough, which were...y'know, weird. Were all jus' lyin' on th'ground, mos'ly na'urt, an'...no zepp'in parts'round. So 'at's was weird, too. In some 'uman minin' town 'at's 'pparently called 'Nort'wind', which made'a couple'a people freak th'f**k out when 'ey looked 'round. Been 'ere a'fore, seems. Don' see wot'th'big deal be, y'know? Sure, there be...some fuckin' ghosts'n shadows'n shit runnin' round, but...I ain' worried. Much. Ya know? Na much. M'more worried'bout th'storm'at don' seem ta let up. I 'ate th'cold, an' it's fuckin' freezin', an' I seem ta be th'only gal sittin' 'ere shiverin'n m'boots. E'ry'un else jus' wannerin' 'round wi'no damn' shirts on. Th'ell's wrong wi'ese people? Ah'dunno. Nutters.
"'Ny'ow. We gotta coupla weirdo locals miners poppin' in'n out e'ry so of'en, a blacksmit' an' some Lord Sil'erbrook 'oo runs'round wi'a pistol an' disappears t'row ice walls. Freak. We all 'oled up in'a church, an' we can get inta'a coupla 'ouses, 'ncludin' th'stables'n what's gotta be th'Sil'erbrook manner, bu'th'rest'a th'town's blocked off by some big'ass ice walls. Two'umans made'a deal wi'a...wot, talkin' skeleton'r somethin', no'un would fuckin' talk ta me 'bout it, pre'y 'nnoyin', but 'ey got 'emselves all cut'up'n shit, but 'pparently th'ice walls'r gonna jus' go down soon. Ain' really believin'at meself, so's we gotta find 'nother way outta'ere. Plus, we got some jack'yasses shootin' arrers at us too from th'top'a th'towers, buncha bitchy elfies, an'a Clo'is tryin' ta make order. Nice guy, ya, but'e's really gotta lay off th'drama wi'em two 'umies. "Hoi, hoi, e'ery'un gotta calm down," 'e says, den storms outta th'church in'a 'issy fit. Whateva, y'know? Guess 'e gotta blow'off steam. Shou'go'n get'a room wi'at used-ta-be-rotter lady friend'a 'is, a'fore she starts gettin' all smelly'n dead'gain. I'll 'elp'im, 'ough. Smar' guy. Bet'r'n 'ny'un else 'ere, even if 'e be'a purple dress-wearin'uman.
Oh, 'n all th'fuckin' deaders 'at were on th'zepp'in ain' dead no more. 'Ow fuckin' weird'izzat? Yep.
So some o'er elfie found'a map, which'as got some catacombs runnin' unnerneath 'is place, which we tryin' ta get ter. Migh' be'a way out past'em ice walls, 'r migh' find somethin' useful. E'ry'un be bitchin'n pussyfootin' 'bout'it, 'ough. No'un wants ta go down. "Ooh, scary," 'ey say, "don' wanna go down der! Cou' be fuckin' spiders'r somethin'! An' dead people!" Well, we got dead people up'ere, too, so's I be goin'nyway, once we find th'key ta th'doors 'at lead down. I ain'a feared a'th'dark, 'n while there pro'ly gonna be more ghosts'n shit, ya gotta do what ya gotta do, y'know? If 'ny'un ballsy 'nough ta come wi'me, great, but I ain' gonna sit 'round 'ere'n wait fer some skeleton ta melt'a wall fer me, or ta freeze ta death. Whateva I find down der, s'bet'r'n doin' nothin', ya?"