Conquest of the Horde

Right, fellows, I haven't made a blog post in quite awhile. So, I figured I might as well make one, especially since this doesn't really count as an absence thread, so I don't think it belongs there. As usual, expect my posts to be rambling and not well thought out, as I type as I think, with only a general idea of what my post will be about. So, the heart of the nature is: I've been distant from CotH lately.

Reasons

• I've been a bit depressed lately. Nothing to worry about, it's just an effect of my bipolar disorder.
  
• As a branching effect of the depression, I feel incredibly lonely on the server. Almost all friendships I try to either rekindle or start seem to just... fail.
  
• I've been uninspired. My only notable work I've done at all ever is the Echo Isles event, which I can't even attend due to some out of game issues, but mainly just time. I feel bummed I can't host my own events.
  
• I don't know what I'm doing. I feel like I'm not doing anything, really, except assisting other GMs. As someone put it, I just need to find my groove and stride with it. Problem is, I've yet to find what my field of expertise in this community is.
  
• I think I've been acting harshly lately towards people, and I've taken a step back so I don't say something that can't be taken back. The last thing I want to ever do is make another human being unhappy without a really, really good reason.
  
• This goes with the second item on the list, but I've hit an RP dryspell. I was hoping the new Skin Thieves would rekindle it, but it turned out to be too big of an event for me to handle.
  

This isn't really me saying anything in particular, it's just me explaining why you haven't seen a ton of me around. Also, if you really want to take something away from this post, take it as an apology from me. I have things expected of me, and I haven't really been living up to it. I'm sorry that I'm not giving my all, I just don't exactly know how to give myself fully to the server. I'll figure it out, just bear with me, aye?

Take your time man, we'll all still be here. If there's anything we can do to help, you should let us know. Otherwise, just try and get your bearings.

You do a whole lot, buddy. And when motivated like you were when it came to setting up Echo Isles, you do a whole hell of a lot. But I feel like sometimes you give up too soon on things, or in the case of Echo Isles, you work hard on something only to have to take yourself out of it. Naturally, the RL stuff always takes precedence, but maybe a little more spur of the moment things can work in your favor.

I remember the treasure hunter event you ran not long after becoming a Trial GM, and while it was a little shaky since it was sort of a trial run for hosting events, it was a lovely idea and was quite fun. Since your schedule tends to shift a lot, and things come up as they do, it can always help to contribute with ideas (ala Echo Isles) or just to come up with fun and exciting events on the fly. You have more of a talent for it than you'll give yourself credit for, and you do a great job of creating unique scenarios outside of the usual RP.

What I'm saying is...you rock dude.

It's been a real long time since last we RP'd, man. What was it? Before you were even a Trial GM? With Lekan (whatever his name was post-restart), Grakor, and Dalikan?

All I remember of our RPs is possibly how they changed my view on some of my characters. Maybe not a big thing, but hey, Dalikan having an orc-bro to talk about was always fun. Don't know if what I say comes off as good or bad, but either way we need to RP again sometime. That is, when my computer stops acting up, heh. And hey, it was thanks to you I started noticing that 'yah' and 'yeah' difference :P

What can I say? Pretty cool guy, and cool to RP with. Good luck in life and all that, and hopefully we can RP again! Sometimes it's best to sit and think.

Hey, I know the feel, bro. I hope you'll feel better.

If you need an ear, you know mines right above the shoulder. Both are available.

Needs more Gunnar/Gorzan.