03-23-2013, 02:23 PM
These last few weeks have been complete stress. I have been having issues in college. I have been dealing with matters on CotH, both on the GM team and with players. I have always approached CotH much as I would a job, but as a job which I enjoy. I cannot say that has been the case for some time.
I have failed. I have failed with running events—many were truncated or were aborted with filled waiting lists. I have failed with reforming rules, repairing feelings between the team, and between the GM team and the playerbase as a whole. I couldn’t even see my own project aimed at my specialty (the implementation of the custom patch) through to completion.
For all of this I have remained unapologetic, because in the end I could say to myself; ‘at least I’ve tried’. But at this point, there seems to be no point in trying anymore. No matter what I will be hated, or distrusted; I will be seen as uncaring, or dismissive, or spiteful. I will be an antagonist, with full intention to harm.
I will be called this by those within the community. I will be called this by those outside of the community, who watch and wait for when the time is worst to post their criticisms—people who have been inactive to the point where they have likely not even dealt with the current staff will hate us for what position we hold on the server. People will say that this is not aimed at us—but it is. And it’s easy to throw such words and phrases around until you find them directed at yourself.
In the past I have attempted to say that I do not care. But matters like this are one of erosion. There is only so much that one can take before they crumble, and I have reached that point. I have been on the GM team for three years. From the very moment I was promoted I was thrown into drama. I have dealt with much more since. At least then though I was able to move on to something better—but, I just can’t see that anymore. The only thing I can get out of CotH as of late is anger, depression and hatred.
This is already growing overly long, unfortunately. I’m good at rambling. In short, I’m stepping down. I’ll likely not be on the server either. I’ve resolved to remain this way until we make a full transition to Cataclysm—whether that ends up being a few months, a few weeks, or a year. Whenever it comes up, I’ll rejoin the team and see if I can keep my head afloat.
I will be using what remains of my time as a GM (until I’m demoted) to attempt and finish work on the ‘patchaclysm’ spawning which I began.
I'm sorry.
I have failed. I have failed with running events—many were truncated or were aborted with filled waiting lists. I have failed with reforming rules, repairing feelings between the team, and between the GM team and the playerbase as a whole. I couldn’t even see my own project aimed at my specialty (the implementation of the custom patch) through to completion.
For all of this I have remained unapologetic, because in the end I could say to myself; ‘at least I’ve tried’. But at this point, there seems to be no point in trying anymore. No matter what I will be hated, or distrusted; I will be seen as uncaring, or dismissive, or spiteful. I will be an antagonist, with full intention to harm.
I will be called this by those within the community. I will be called this by those outside of the community, who watch and wait for when the time is worst to post their criticisms—people who have been inactive to the point where they have likely not even dealt with the current staff will hate us for what position we hold on the server. People will say that this is not aimed at us—but it is. And it’s easy to throw such words and phrases around until you find them directed at yourself.
In the past I have attempted to say that I do not care. But matters like this are one of erosion. There is only so much that one can take before they crumble, and I have reached that point. I have been on the GM team for three years. From the very moment I was promoted I was thrown into drama. I have dealt with much more since. At least then though I was able to move on to something better—but, I just can’t see that anymore. The only thing I can get out of CotH as of late is anger, depression and hatred.
This is already growing overly long, unfortunately. I’m good at rambling. In short, I’m stepping down. I’ll likely not be on the server either. I’ve resolved to remain this way until we make a full transition to Cataclysm—whether that ends up being a few months, a few weeks, or a year. Whenever it comes up, I’ll rejoin the team and see if I can keep my head afloat.
I will be using what remains of my time as a GM (until I’m demoted) to attempt and finish work on the ‘patchaclysm’ spawning which I began.
I'm sorry.