Silverfang Incident Report: Booty Bay

[landashua]

Blades of the Silverfang Incident Report

Location: Booty Bay
Time: Late evening
Blades involved: Liridon Duskrunner

Incident: Never figured I'd be a part of your paperwork, Leron. I'm laughing at that. Anyway, at your request I figured I'd fill one of these out. I remember you leaving after I asked about that feller's eye. The Forsaken feller, that is. Did you see that thing? It was red as Kil'Jaeden himself. I digress.

The woman, with no eyes. Did you stick around long enough to see she had no eyes? I had a good chat with her about that. Fascinating, really, that she can still see. She asked my name. I panicked, Leron. I wanted to give an alias but the best I could come up with at the time was "Troubleshovel Chairfiend," a name which they both repeated. Fully intent on selling this alias I spit out a sharp retort to their repetitious queries, "And don't you forget it." Neither were amused, the male having a few strong words. I warned him not to cross me, less he wanted to wake up dead every day for the rest of his life.

The male forsaken was named Walter or something, to be honest I was completely uninterested. His name was like something one would read from an obituary, probably because it already had been. (I made that joke for him, he was less than amused.) The female forsaken, though, Gwyneira. I payed attention to her. Walter called me vain, which, duh. I mean, have you seen me? Have you seen him? One would understand why I kept my distance. Gwyneira, though? She didn't speak much on it.

A few insults were exchanged between Walter and I, before he called me brainless. "I do have a working brain," I said, and he said "Right, and I'm the king of Azeroth". I called his bluff right away. Even I'm smart enough to know Azeroth actually has an emperor.

They just stared at me in pity for a short while, "I don't need your pity," I said, but they were unflinching in their stares. "You know there's more to being really, really, really good looking than taking pity from others," I continued, hoping to alleviate them of any worries they may have had for me.

After a short exchange I was left pointing at the man, I didn't know what to say, so I settled on "You look stupid." and, while that was certainly true, I wasn't quite happy with it, so I added in "And dead." suddenly, Walter stood. I was pretty sure he was going to attack me in a jealous rage, seeing as how I had just taken his woman.

But he didn't. He just stood there like a fool. I was tempted to remind him that he looked stupid, but I didn't. I did, however, remind him that I was better than him. "Did I mention I'm better than you?" I asked, because I was genuinely unsure if I had mentioned it or not. "Because I am," I said, to remove any doubts. The two began to speak in whatever that language is. Gutterdrawl or something. It sounded vaguely aggressive.

I could smell their insults in the air. "You're not the only ones who can exclude others from conversations," I said in Thalassian. I pretended to beat on my chest like a silverback, hoping to strike fear into the man while asserting my dominance to the woman. Strength is the same in every language. "Look at me! I know Thalassian and think I'm better than everyone else!" I continued in my native tongue. Walter started laughing at me just then, and Gwen made her way over to me.

I smiled at her and her lack of eyes. How oddly... Beautiful. In a weird corpse-y way. "Could you stand elsewhere? You're far too handsome to be tied into my peripheral vision," she said. I nodded and asked "You mean like by the bar?" she nodded and off I went to the bar.

Clearly I owed it to the couple to model my handsomeness. As I skipped to the barkeeper, I planned my method of attack and acquisition. I struck a super casual pose at the bar, mug in hand. "Look at how good I am at standing over here!" I called to the two at their table, raising my mug and both eyebrows as Gwyn turned. I hope she wouldn't mind me calling her Gwyn. She said something about not being physically attracted to elves. She was obviously kidding.

I didn't have an answer for her though, so I just smiled until she turned away. I then sat on the bar, one foot resting on the bar as the other dangled lightly off. I bobbed my head to imagined music. Super smooth. They were busy using their sewertalk though, so I psssted them until they looked. "Look at how good I am at making chit chat!" once I was certain I had their full attentions I turned to the barkeeper. I didn't know what to talk about so I simply made words at him, "Chit chat! Chit chat! Chit chat!" I said to the keep, a bit too loudly perhaps. He was less than thrilled. They turned away and kept with their own chit chat. How envious I was, my chit chat partner did not respond.

I tried to laugh along with their conversation but their words were like muck in my ears. Heavy and inherently unclean. Gross. Eventually Walter turned and walked to me, he asked me to stop doing what I was doing. I laughed at him. "You're almost like a normal person!" I pointed out. In case he wasn't aware. He went on about virtues and patience, and how Gwyn was uneasy with my presence. Uneasy because she thought I was way out of her league? Probably.

"That's nice. Now if you'll excuse me, the adults were speaking," I said as I turned towards the barkeeper. Clearly my modeling had only pushed Gwyn further away. I needed a new plan of attack. I needed to seem approachable. I grabbed a mug of water for each and walked over to them.

"I want you two to have these," I said. Very straight faced. I may have winked once or six times at Gwyn. "I don't know what you drink, so this is water." - And it was! They both were! But I decided to play a joke on them. "Except one of them was dehydrated then rehydrated first."

Gwyn very abruptly left, Walter going after her before either took my peace offerings. I followed them out of the bar with a mug in each hand. "Wait! I don't know wha-" I was cut off because I realized it was raining out. "What a waste of perfectly good water," I mumbled as I dropped the mugs to the ground. Rain water ruining perfectly unclean bar water. A modern tragedy.


Final Summation: I was treated very poorly by a group of Forsaken. I tried very hard to make friends with them.

Recommended Course of Action: Ban them both from the Blades, unless their name is Gwyneira. Let her in.

[[The previous was written with permission from both Walter and Gwyneira, as well as Leron. Thanks for the arpee guys, I got to drag out a side of Liri I rarely find time to use anymore. Hope this post does the outrageous fun of the RP justice.]]