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Aelise Ambershade [Blood Elf]
#1
Player: Roxas65

Character Full Name: Aelise Ambershade

Character In-Game Name: Aelise

Nickname(s): Liz

Association(s): None

Race: Blood elf

Class: Warrior

Skills and Abilities: The Mortal Draw - the Mortal Draw technique is the basis of Aelise's entire sword style. A curved sword technique where the user presses the edge of the blade towards the inside of the scabbard to build power before the blade is drawn from the scabbard with the strength of the user's entire body behind it. It delivers a great amount of speed and power in a single swing. The sword style is full of stances, initiations and counters that lead into the technique.

Analytical - the Mortal Draw is at its best when it strikes an opponents weakspot and finding those weakspots in armor and technique is a large part of Aelise's sword style.

Keen reflexes - to use the Mortal Draw, you need the quick reflexes to strike a weakspot when oppurtunity presents itself and to dodge the opponenents attacks.

What goes around comes around - A good swordsman who can deal fatal blows also knows how to treat them and also knows that suffering them is inevitable. Therefore, Aelise knows how to treat her own injuries, as long as they're manageable.

Age: 348

Sex: Female

Hair: Blonde

Eyes: Green

Weight: 83kg

Height: 1,82m

Usual Garments/Armor: Aelise wears very light garments even in battle. Armor of some sort might occur, but it's still very light as anything else would be detrimental to Aelise's sword style.

Other: N/A

Alignment: Neutral good

Personality: Aelise is a strong and independant woman with a strong sense of justice and honor. A lot of people see her as stiff and unapproachable though, and it's true that Aelise is a bit humorless. She was taught a strict code of etiquette as she grew up and she follows it always. However, any matter regarding her father instantly reduces her to an insecure and timid girl, something that she hates, causing her to avoid any issues regarding him as well as the man himself.

History: Aelise's father was a skilled swordsman who, along with his brother, developed a swordstyle and started teaching it to willing students. The sword style was developed with the common noble in mind; the ones who didn't spend all day in armor and/or a posse of bodyguards on their tail. The Ambershade style instead allowed nobles to carry a single sword to use speed, precision along with the element of surprise-- and a little bit of elegant flare-- to protect themselves. When Aelise was born, he had been hoping for a son to inherit his school. It had been a complicated birth and while Aelise's mother survived it, she lost the ability to carry children. Aelise's father was stuck with her.

Being left with no other choice, Aelise's father trained her to inherit his school after he had died. She trained alongside and with the other students of the school in addition to private lessons with either her father or her uncle and she grew in skill throughout the years, but her father never got over the fact that she was a woman. He didn't want this kind of life for his daughter, but at the same time somebody had to inherit his lifework.

Early on in her training, the school had an addition in the form of a boy named Naethas. Naethas had an affinity for the style and quickly caught up to Aelise in level of skill and impressed Aelise's father. A rivalry quickly sparked between the two. The truth, however, was that Aelise wasn't especially interested in learning the art of the sword. Her drive came from living up to the expectations of those around her and that was good enough for her.

When the second war came, her father went to battle and brought Naethas and some other students with him. Aelise on the other hand had been forbidden to join the war by her father and was left behind, but Aelise wouldn't let that stop her. She ran away a few days after her father and the others left and joined the war on her own and it was there that she killed for the first time. She made it all the way to the end of the war until she was injured by a berserking orc making his last stand. With several lacerations and a few broken ribs, she was sent home to Silvermoon. For her, the war was over and all she could do was wait for her father's return.

When her father returned, he was furious with Aelise who had gone to war without his permission and the fact that he had almost lost her only made it worse. For several days, the residents of the house would see him walking through the halls, grumbling to himself, until he announced that Naethas would be adopted into the family after both of his parents had died in the war. After that he stopped training Aelise outside of her normal training alongside the other students. However, her uncle recognized her potential and kept giving her private lessons.

Then came the third war and this time, Aelise's father had no choice but to let Aelise join the defense of Silvermoon when the undead came knocking on the city gates. Aelise protected her home along with the other students, many who fell during the battle. Aelise and the others succeeded in protecting their home and the school with it, but many had died and one of them was Aelise's own mother. Heartstruck, Aelise's father decided to keep her out of harm's way and instead proclaimed Naethas as his heir as to not loose his daughter on top of his wife.

After Naethas had officially become his heir, Aelise's father stopped her training altogether and had her tutored in softer and more innocent arts instead such as sewing, cooking, etiquette and singing. He simply wanted a safer and more comfortable existence for her, preferably as the wife of some noble.

Aelise had originally not been very invested in becoming a swordswoman, but now that she was no longer holding a sword she missed it dearly. She did not know if she missed it simply for the familiarity of it or for the power she had held over life and death and frankly, she was afraid of the answer. The withdrawal symptoms of the arcane addiction following the destruction of the Sunwell coupled with her emotional problems caused Aelise to spend most of her time by herself and become a very troubled individual.

It was not until Kael'thas returned to Silvermoon that things started changing. With the fel filling her, she was empowered and eventually her uncle, who still insisted she had potential, resumed her training behind his brother's back. Sword back in her hand, she felt strong again. She still didn't know why she liked it so much but she no longer cared. All that mattered was that she felt powerful.

Then came the Cataclysm and her uncle, who had been travelling, never came home. Her training stopped, she was struck by grief and she started feeling powerless again. Eventually her father noticed how she had been acting down and inquired about it. Aelise confided in her father and admitted to have been trained in secret by her uncle. Her father was outraged at how his brother had gone behind his back and trained Aelise in something he had not wanted for her. He had lost his wife and now his brother, Aelise was not be lost as well and to quell her desire to become a true swordswoman he had all the blades removed from her pressence and she was no longer allowed to observe the training of her fellow students.

Her withdrawal from the sword was just as tough as when she had been fighting her addiction of magic. Eventually it overcame her and one night she snuck into her fathers room and stole his sword-- Amberclaw, a masterwork blade meant for her but usurped by Naethas. After she had stolen it, she left. If her father wouldn't teach her to be a great swordswoman, the world would and when she came back her father would be unable to deny her.
[Image: 293D4BE4-7170-4C2A-B8BF-7EA572513EBD.jpg]
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#2
Quote:What goes around comes around - A good swordsman who can deal fatal blows also knows how to treat them and also knows that suffering them is inevitable. Therefore, Aelise knows how to treat her own injuries, as long as they're manageable.

Treating a fatal blow would be resurrection. :P Reword that one to avoid confusion! Everything's fine barring that.
[Image: RtK7PiZ.png]
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#3
Fixed.

I have to admit that I was in the "who's online" tool and saw that pretty much every GM and forum Helper online was browsing this profile and it made me go like "WHAT DID I DO WRONG!?"
[Image: 293D4BE4-7170-4C2A-B8BF-7EA572513EBD.jpg]
Spoiler:
[Image: Lazuri65.png]
[-] The following 1 user Likes Roxas65's post:
  • Rini
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#4
Quote:The Mortal Draw - the Mortal Draw technique is the basis of Aelise's entire sword style. A curved sword technique where the user presses the edge of the blade towards the inside of the scabbard to build power before the blade is drawn from the scabbard with the strength of the user's entire body behind it. It delivers a great amount of speed and power in a single swing. The sword style is full of stances, initiations and counters that lead into the technique.

I understand that you're trying to replicate a Japanese fighting style with a blood elf in this spell, but I'd implore you to either reconsider adding an out-of-place cultural element or have her learn this style from a race that has a bit more Japanese influences than blood elves. Additionally, this sounds a bit... much, to have a "power up" to your attacks by "charging" it in your sheathe. :B

Quick edit!:

Quote:After Naethas had officially become his heir, he stopped Aelise's training altogether and had her tutored in the finer arts of a woman instead; sewing, cooking, etiquette and singing

While blood elves have a refined way of living, they don't have the traditional, "old-fashioned" gender roles that humans have. Heck, look at Sylvanas Windrunner. I'd say there's no such thing as misogyny in the sin'dorei nor quel'dorei culture.
[-] The following 3 users Like Rini's post:
  • Cerb57, Ukarai, flammos200
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#5
Actually, it's not too much. The Mortal Draw works exactly like that. It was used by plenty of Samurai and I've even tested the technique myself. Pressing the edge towards the inside of the scabbard flexes the muscles in your arm and when you finally draw the blade, that power is released. It's sort of like trying to pull or push something that's stuck; it won't budge at first and then when it finally does, the release of power is usually enough to send the object you were trying to pull flying through the room. If you have time time to prepare, you don't just use your arm either, you use a stance that flexes your entire body and sort of turns you into a wound up spring until you release.

It's a very real technique that's been used plenty, but you need a curved sword to do it with any effectiveness. It's a technique that's ridiculously over represented in anime, I admit that, but I really have no intention of roleplaying it as something that it's not. The inspiration for this character came to me when studying sword styles, but I recognize that a lot of people would see it as very "anime" and I was honestly ready for complications. I just hope people can see my side of it too.

As for the cultural thing, you've no idea how many concepts I went through making this. At first I thought about human, but I wanted that centuries long experience. Then I thought about Nightelf, which have many apparent Japanese influences in their culture, but the truth is that I'm just not very good at them, how they act or their lore. Hence I went with Blood Elf.

Basically, I picked the race I'm comfortable with and the one I know the most about. But if you guys feel that it's completely unreasonable, I'm not against taking it back to the drawing board.


EDIT REGARDING RINI'S EDIT: I'm aware of this. But even though a culture might not have gender definitions doesn't mean that individuals can't. It was implied that only her father really saw it that way, but I can probably word that better.
[Image: 293D4BE4-7170-4C2A-B8BF-7EA572513EBD.jpg]
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[Image: Lazuri65.png]
[-] The following 1 user Likes Roxas65's post:
  • Loxmardin
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#6
Quote:EDIT REGARDING RINI'S EDIT: I'm aware of this. But even though a culture might not have gender definitions doesn't mean that individuals can't. It was implied that only her father really saw it that way, but I can probably word that better.


Whoops, quoted the wrong section the first time around!

Anyways, I really insist that you instead say that she was, for example, redirected by her father to instead be ready to live a more comfortable life rather than take a gender role that has no place in their society.
[-] The following 1 user Likes Rini's post:
  • flammos200
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#7
I can definitely do that, but I probably won't have time to sit down and work on it in a few days, so it might be an idea to move this to the workshop. Entirely your call, though.

What's the stance on the sword style, though? I need to know that before I sit down with this profile again.
[Image: 293D4BE4-7170-4C2A-B8BF-7EA572513EBD.jpg]
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#8
(08-30-2013, 01:07 PM)Roxas65 Wrote: I can definitely do that, but I probably won't have time to sit down and work on it in a few days, so it might be an idea to move this to the workshop. Entirely your call, though.

What's the stance on the sword style, though? I need to know that before I sit down with this profile again.

I don't know much about Japanese sword styles, but with how you explained the skill in your response, it sounds fine to me now that I understand how it works! Err, the skill, rather. I'd still like to see a bit more explanation added as for the origin of the style beyond that her father taught her so. How long do you believe you will be absent?
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#9
I've got a lot of stuff to take care of at home during tomorrow and Sunday. I probably won't be able to focus on it until I'm done with it, so let' say Monday.
[Image: 293D4BE4-7170-4C2A-B8BF-7EA572513EBD.jpg]
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[Image: Lazuri65.png]
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#10
You could keep the profile right here if you would prefer! Once you're ready or have changes up, you can drop a message in here. Though, if you would prefer this to be moved to the Workshop, that's perfectly fine.
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#11
Might as well keep it here so you guys don't have to move it and then move it back. Just pay it no thoughts until I've dropped a message in here.

Thanks for working with me here.
[Image: 293D4BE4-7170-4C2A-B8BF-7EA572513EBD.jpg]
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[Image: Lazuri65.png]
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#12
Sorry that I took way longer than I said I would in this matter. I've been busy with way more than I thought I would. Getting a driver's license is hard work.

Anyways, I think I fixed the things you pointed out and it brought a -slight- conceptual overhaul but nothing great. I hope I didn't accidentally create any continuity errors in doing so, but I don't think I did.

I hope you guys like it better this time around but if you see something wrong I'll do my best to fix it up for you. I admit that my lore is slightly shoddy after having been away from this whole universe for pretty much two years.
[Image: 293D4BE4-7170-4C2A-B8BF-7EA572513EBD.jpg]
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[Image: Lazuri65.png]
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#13
Quote:Analytical - the Mortal Draw is at its best when it strikes an opponents weakspot and finding those weakspots in armor and technique is a large part of Aelise's sword style.
Keen reflexes - to use the Mortal Draw, you need the quick reflexes to strike a weakspot when oppurtunity presents itself and to dodge the opponenents attacks.

Could you split these two with an extra enter, and...

Quote:Being left with no other choice, Aelise's father trained her to inherit his school after he had died. She trained alongside and with the other students of the school in addition to private lessons with either her father or her uncle and she grew in skill throughout the years, but her father never got over the fact that she was a woman. He didn't want this kind of life for his daughter, but at the same time somebody had to inherit his lifework.
Early on in her training, the school had an addition in the form of a boy named Naethas. Naethas had an affinity for the style and quickly caught up to Aelise in level of skill and impressed Aelise's father. A rivalry quickly sparked between the two.

The truth, however, was that Aelise wasn't especially interested in learning the art of the sword. Her drive came from living up to the expectations of those around her and that was good enough for her.

Split the two touching paragraphs, and combine the highlighted paragraph with the one below it?

Quote:After Naethas had officially become his heir, Aelise's father stopped her training altogether and had her tutored in the finer arts of a woman instead; sewing, cooking, etiquette and singing.

This still needs to be changed! She could have been redirected to live a finer life, one of wealth and comfort after being married off, for exmaple, but not the "life of a woman".
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#14
Argh. All the paragraphs come together when I paste it from my writing program. Thought I caught them all. That should be it, I believe.
[Image: 293D4BE4-7170-4C2A-B8BF-7EA572513EBD.jpg]
Spoiler:
[Image: Lazuri65.png]
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#15
Looks good! Good work! Just in case I've missed anything, though, I'll give this an Initial!

(And I know that feeling with driver's licenses, I'm still in the process of getting mine. But the thought of paying car insurance as expensive as it is is... hnngh.)
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