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Jonny Harmonic [Human Rogue]
#1
Player: Rensin

Character Full Name: Jonny Harmonic

Character In-Game Name: Jonny

Nickname(s): Mostly what he guesses his last name to be, "Jonny Shadow" or "Jonny Flametouch" in some cases, Jon-Jon

Association(s): Thelwinds, The Alliance

Race: Human

Class: Rogue

Skills and Abilities:

Doesn't Fear the Night: Jonny possesses a strong will when it comes to shadow magics---mostly because he works a bit with them himself. While still subject to a bit of mind control and the like, he is able to resist it here and there -if- he so sees fit. However, this takes quite a bit of concentration on his part, as he's not as skilled as a powerful priest in this manner. It doesn't allow him to do anything such as read others minds, just provides a bit of willpower against his being altered or read. However, in some cases... he doesn't mind being peered in on.

Age: 32

Sex: Male

Hair: Red

Eyes: Light, light blue

Weight: 195 lbs.

Height: 6'3"

Usual Garments/Armor: Jonny is often seen in fine clothing designed by Jerico, interwoven with a mix of mesh wiring and leather. Underneath that he has an intricate harness, suited to carrying multiple blades.

Personality: Jonny is an optimistic and caring person. He has a deep love of those that are close to him and would defend them to his death. He considers himself charismatic, and verbose. Often times he's able to say the right thing to the right people in order to get things in motion, which helps with being a liaison to other families and organizations. He loves to listen to people, even when they don't know he's listening as he uses this to gather information, storing it in his head for future use.

He's the type of person to plan things out multiple ways. He tries his best to first start with the peaceful solution. If something can be handled without violence but instead a fair bit of intrigue and use of sly tactics, he'll go that route instead of using the tips of his blades or other skills to end the debate. However, when it comes down to it he's rather proficient with his blades and rogue magics and able to keep his own in a fight. Sometimes he can become rather discouraged, especially in the world of relationships, as the fella has not had much luck when it comes to that. He considers himself a romantic but also knows that sometimes he can become overwhelming. This is another case where he tries the best for those he cares about but maybe a bit too much.

He tries his hardest to "lead" situations head on. When it comes to business he takes the bull by the horns. Ambitious would be a word to describe him quite well when it comes to money and other transactions.

History: Jonny was the bastard child of a then Noble family, the "Harmonics", first son of the Noble Grey Harmonic. Grey, wanting nothing to do with the chamber maid that carried his child, threw her out on the street while still pregnant with Jonny. She ended up having the baby alone, giving him the name Jonny. Not Jonathan or anything fancy, as she didn't know any better. She raised him as best as she could, struggling with money and often times having to take handouts just to be able to feed herself and her baby. And that's when the fall of Stormwind happened. In the mass confusion and the fleeing she gave her son to the matrons of the orphanage, as they all fled.

Unfortunately Jonny's mother didn't make it out of Stormwind alive and the Harmonic family fell from their perch as a noble house, with Grey fleeing his family; not to mention the boy he'd already abandoned before.

The boy was raised by the matrons who called him Jon-Jon. He grew up to about the age of eight when the matrons decided to move the orphanage back to New Stormwind as it was being constructed. There he was raised with affection and care, being taught how to read which was his favorite pastime. He read many books, mostly about mages and their heroism, particularly taking a liking to a fellow red-headed mage and his endeavors. He'd pretend to be this mage at play time, always calling himself a powerful mage that controlled the realm of fire... calling himself Jonny Flamestrike. After getting beat up a few times Jonny decided that he didn't quite like being picked on just for his dreams so as a teen he joined a little gang, learning from them how to fight and even from some of the older and more darker members... how to use rogue magics involving shadow, such as shadowstepping. He had natural talent as a rogue but inside he still pined to become a mage.

Around the age of twenty-five Jonny had started to try to teach himself magic, unaware of the special processes you had to go through. He was however aware that he lacked the money to get formal training. He worked as a librarian of sorts in the library of the mage tower, loving the fact that he could read all the books at his leisure and still teaching himself how to do things. It took years for him to learn how to even produce a fireball, something that was very unrefined and volatile even to him.

When he was thirty-two he ran into the mage Alicia. He started a relationship with her, falling madly in love... however, he also became her student. It was a frustrating process. He had no refinement, his spells were sloppy and not very powerful and he caused himself a lot more harm than good. This eventually came between the relationship and Alicia left him for someone else. Jonny, being heartbroken and feeling betrayed... left her to seek out other opportunities, namely with the Thelwinds. He turned his back on being a mage, picking up the familiar swords and daggers. He followed Lady Thelwind quickly becoming a loyal member of the family. Now he's trying to act as the family's liaison and aspires to become Alaine's personal guard, something he has quite a bit of interest in. He doesn't seem to mind being close to her and the family, which he now considers his own. It's like the family he never knew.
[Image: desc_head_freemasons.jpg]

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[-] The following 2 users Like Harmonic's post:
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#2
…You get what you take.
Perhaps it is your imperfection that which grants you free will, that allows you to persevere against cosmically calculated odds. You prevailed where the Titans' own perfect creations have failed.

- Algalon, The Observer

Spoiler:
[Image: tumblr_m00qfdoBWr1qd87hlo1_500.gif]

i am sea-bass
[-] The following 1 user Likes WindZealot's post:
  • Harmonic
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#3
I may be a little out there, but something came to mind when I saw the name...

Spoiler:
[Image: johnny-mnemonic.jpg]
[-] The following 1 user Likes kindle135's post:
  • Harmonic
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#4
(08-22-2013, 11:38 AM)kindle135 Wrote: I may be a little out there, but something came to mind when I saw the name...

Spoiler:
[Image: johnny-mnemonic.jpg]

Haha, yes, unfortunate part of using the "noble" name I've used on CoTh for so darn long...

You get some interesting variations. It hit my mind too, paha.
[Image: desc_head_freemasons.jpg]

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#5
...You get what you take.
"Leave now, mortal! The likes of you are forbidden in this land. You, who are powerless, are not worthy to set foot here." - Cerberus
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#6
Quote:6'3
Not sure if the inch (") marker is a required notation or not but you might wish to add it.

Quote:In the mass confusion, and the fleeing, she gave her son the the matrons of the orphanage, as they all fled.

Otherwise, the only issue I noticed readily is an over-usage of commas throughout the profile. Best of luck, seems like he'll be a fun character to play.
[Image: stonetalon-mountains.jpg?w=760]
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#7
I tend to use commas a lot to show a pause in the sentence.
[Image: desc_head_freemasons.jpg]

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#8
Quote:It was a frustrating process, he had no refinement, his spells were sloppy and not very powerful, and he caused himself a lot more harm than good. This eventually came between the relationship, and Alicia left him for someone else.

Might I suggest incorporating a little bit of explanation here? What exactly was 'more harm than good' and why did it end the relationship? It just seems like a very odd thing for her to break up with him over.

I ask that you do this because it seems like a very important moment in his life and it's grazed over here.

Quote:Jonny was the bastard child of a then Noble family, the "Harmonics", first son of the Noble Grey Harmonic. Grey, wanting nothing to do with the chamber maid that carried his child, threw her out on the street while still pregnant with Jonny.

I'm uncertain as to what's going on here. You say that his father threw her out because he wanted 'nothing to do with her', and my first question was: "Was it to avoid a scandal of sorts?"

This is an easy assumption to jump to since this has to do with a noble impregnating a commoner. But what I'm getting to here is that I want to see some expansion on what you mean by 'nothing to do with her'.

Quote:In the mass confusion, and the fleeing, she gave her son the the matrons of the orphanage, as they all fled.

You say 'the' twice here.

Quote:AGAINST
Quote:LACKED

I'm going to ask you to remove the all-caps here.

Quote:Eyes: Light, light blue

Saying 'light' twice here seems choppy. I would suggest keeping it to 'light blue' or something along the lines of 'a very light shade of blue' or another color altogether, if it's truly light in its shade.

Quote:He was however aware, that he LACKED the money to get formal training.

If you want to use however in this sentence, it'd need to be structured as 'aware, however, that'.

Quote:He'd pretend to be this mage at play time, always calling himself a powerful magi that controlled the realm of fire... calling himself Jonny Flamestrike.

You'll need to change 'powerful magi' to 'powerful mage', since magi is the plural form of the 'mage' of WoW. I say this to discount examples in real life where 'magi' isn't plural.

Quote:There he was raised with affection and care, being taught how to read, which was his favorite pastime. He read many books, mostly about mages and their heroism, particularly taking a liking to a fellow red-headed mage and his endeavors.

No need for the word 'fellow' in this sentence. If you want me to explain why, I can.

...as Niko suggested, there are some places where commas are unnecessary. However, I'm going to let that go since it isn't too distracting and improper in my opinion.
[Image: anim_500.gif]
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#9
You get what you-PHHAHAHAHAHAHA Jon-Jon.
The Artist Formerly Known as Mickspider!
[-] The following 2 users Like HazelTheNut's post:
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#10
I'm going to say that a lot of what you're asking me to change doesn't seem too necessary. It's all very small stuff, and more of a matter of writing style than actual needed changes. If there's a major problem with the structure of it, or something wrong with how the history, I'll change it, but it feels like the changes you are asking for aren't really helping to flesh anything out but more... are minor nit-picks that could be fine either way.

In the case of "caused more harm than good", it's exactly that. It harmed their relationship, as was stated in the profile. Some of the minor things had been changed or already were changed, such as the double words, and using magi instead of mage.
[Image: desc_head_freemasons.jpg]

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[-] The following 1 user Likes Harmonic's post:
  • Nikodemos
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#11
Cleaned up the commas!
[Image: desc_head_freemasons.jpg]

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#12
Yes, that can be nitpicky. If you think that the first two suggestions that I've made aren't going to help you flesh anything out, then you don't have to make those changes.

However...I'm still going to ask that you remove the all-caps. If you feel that you must make use of an emphatic device, use either italicizing or underlining. Both can be done on the wiki.

Quote:He considers himself charismatic,\ and verbose.

A small typo here.
[Image: anim_500.gif]
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#13
I've had profiles approved before where I asked to not have 'em italicized or underlined but instead still used that emphasis. I'd rather prefer it. I'll get on that typo though!

And changed.

Eh, why not. Uncapped that stuff too.
[Image: desc_head_freemasons.jpg]

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#14
Approved!
[Image: anim_500.gif]
[-] The following 1 user Likes Geoni's post:
  • Harmonic
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#15
Wikified!
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