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Lena Fallenstar [Blood Elf Noble]
#1
I'm expecting this to be chewed up.

Player: WindZealot

Character Full Name: Lena Fallenstar

Character In-Game Name: Lena

Associations: Silvermoon, House Fairstar

Race: Blood Elf

Class: Rogue.

Skills and Abilities:

Despite being a noble of all things, prior to all of this, Lena was somewhat of a courier, and this has given her some increased stamina. Due to being a rogue, she has learned how to manipulate the shadows, to the point of being able to use Shadowstep, and is skilled with blades and throwing weapons. She also has taken to writing,

Age: 197

Sex: Female.

Hair: Lena's hair is black, and generally kept in a high tail.

Eyes: Fel Green

Scale/Height: 1.0

Usual Garments/Armor: Lena generally dresses in elegant clothing nowadays, and has a set of leather for traveling.

Personality: Lena takes a lot from her father, in that she's a very relaxed, kind person. She can take a joke or two. But she is prone to having a bout of rage at times. She is formal in her language, despite all of this, and is generally very caring towards her many cousins, even if she's considered the bastard. She will also largely treat people the same, friend or stranger, and generally is considered a bookworm, choosing many times to read, even if there's a war going on in front of her. Lena also, above all else, yearns for her father's approval, considering she has never met him in her life.

History: Lena is the product of a failed relationship between a dancer, Denaria Sunborn, and Korvus Fairstar, a noble. She was conceived right before the latter left to be in the navy. Lena Sunborn was born and raised with little knowledge of who her father was, and with a mother that tried her best to provide for her little accident. She tried instructing little Lena about dancing, which she abhorred, and eventually spoke out about it. Thus, the dance lessons stopped, though Lena's mother attempted to get her daughter to try other things, some of which Lena disliked with a passion. They'd make up, and fall apart. Lena did wonder if it'd have been different if her father was here. Eventually, somewhere in her 160s, on a regular seeming day working a job as a courier,

She fell in with the wrong crowd. She was walking in Murder Row one day, and she came across a grisly sight. A dead body. She turned to find a girl behind her, and just as she was there, she vanished, leaving a note. "YOU SAW NOTHING" How she had vanished was intriguing. So she came back the next day, and there was a girl who looked like the one from yesterday. Lena went up to her and whispered, "How did you do that, and could you teach me?" The woman, surprised, led Lena into an alley. She said she'd teach her, but it required a great amount of fortitude. So it began. Years passed along.

Her training had ended, but her life was screwed by something big. The Scourge.

Lena hid. Her mentor was slaughtered, but she hid. Her mother also survived. She fled with her, and returned to help build. It was during this excursion that she came upon her signature hat. Lena had also begun to feel the pain of the addiction, and tried to refrain from any magic absorption. Her being around Silvermoon, which at the time that the elves became Sindorei, had become somewhat of a Fel radiating place, changed her anyway. Her eyes became green. She took to resuming her courier work, using her teachings to assist her, rarely. She eventually reconciled with her mother once more, and it remained so.

This went on until the Cataclysm struck. A few months after that, in Wayfarer's Rest, a man approached Lena, claiming to be her father. Lena was unsure of how to react. But, he explained that he was a noble, and asked her if she wanted to be his daughter officially. In a particularly selfish move, she said yes. Now, Lena is trying to learn to be even more ladylike.
Perhaps it is your imperfection that which grants you free will, that allows you to persevere against cosmically calculated odds. You prevailed where the Titans' own perfect creations have failed.

- Algalon, The Observer

Spoiler:
[Image: tumblr_m00qfdoBWr1qd87hlo1_500.gif]

i am sea-bass
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#2
Quote:Lenny.

What a terrible nickname.

Quote:Due to being a rogue, she has learned how to manipulate the shadows,

Of course, using magic to explain abilities is okay, but to what extent? Just using it to explain rogue abilities, right?

Expand that personality.

Quote:Thus, the dance lessons stopped, and Lena sort of mistrusted her mother from then on.

Was there anything else besides dance lessons? Seems odd for Lena to mistrust her mother simply because of dance lessons.

Quote:Lena went up to her and whispered, how did you do that, and could you teach me?

For direct quoting, use quotes. Example: and whispered, "How did you do that, and could you teach me?"

Quote:So it began. Her training had ended, but her life was screwed by something big. The Scourge.

Boy, that was quick.

Quote:Lena had also begun to feel the pain of the addiction. But, her being around Silvermoon, which at the time that the elves became Sindorei, had become somewhat of a Fel radiating place, changed her anyway.

So she didn't drain magic? Should make that more clear. Also, starting sentences with a conjunction is usually a no-no in writing. In dialogue? Go for it. This? Nah.

Quote:She took to resuming her courier work, using her teachings scarcely, only to assist her, a bit.

Commas everywhere. You could remove the comma between 'scarecely' and 'only' as well as remove "a bit" as it is redundant with the word scarcely there.
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#3
Edit bump.
Perhaps it is your imperfection that which grants you free will, that allows you to persevere against cosmically calculated odds. You prevailed where the Titans' own perfect creations have failed.

- Algalon, The Observer

Spoiler:
[Image: tumblr_m00qfdoBWr1qd87hlo1_500.gif]

i am sea-bass
PM
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#4
Just want a little more personality. Please!
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#5
You said just a little more. So I put just a little more.
Perhaps it is your imperfection that which grants you free will, that allows you to persevere against cosmically calculated odds. You prevailed where the Titans' own perfect creations have failed.

- Algalon, The Observer

Spoiler:
[Image: tumblr_m00qfdoBWr1qd87hlo1_500.gif]

i am sea-bass
PM
Reply
#6
Enough for me.

First Approval (1/2)
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#7
Why is the name Fallenstar, instead of Fairstar? I vaguely recall seeing that once before on another of this family's members.
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#8
Her father is Korvus, who took that name in honor of Anithra- I mean Lyriel. I'm seeing that as reason enough for Lena to have that last name. I'll just point you to his profile, JV. http://wiki.conquestofthehorde.com/Korvus
Perhaps it is your imperfection that which grants you free will, that allows you to persevere against cosmically calculated odds. You prevailed where the Titans' own perfect creations have failed.

- Algalon, The Observer

Spoiler:
[Image: tumblr_m00qfdoBWr1qd87hlo1_500.gif]

i am sea-bass
PM
Reply
#9
Fair enough.

2/2
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#10
Wooo~
Perhaps it is your imperfection that which grants you free will, that allows you to persevere against cosmically calculated odds. You prevailed where the Titans' own perfect creations have failed.

- Algalon, The Observer

Spoiler:
[Image: tumblr_m00qfdoBWr1qd87hlo1_500.gif]

i am sea-bass
PM
Reply
#11
Wikified!
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