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Ray Shadowcrest [Worgen]
#16
Quote:Archmage Arugal elected to summon an army of the extra-dimensional entities by using Ur's research. With King Genn Greymane's blessing, these original worgen—cursed druids from Azeroth's ancient past—were then released from their prison.

The beings that were summoned forward were the druids who had been banished to the dream. Which would make all summoned worgen Kaldorei in origin, not human. Which makes it a special profile. If you did not want for the character to be kaldorei, it would have to undergo some changes.
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#17
All the worgen that Arugal summoned were Kaldorei infected with the worgen curse, making them thousands of years old. They were not just snapped into existence at the moment of Arugal summoning them, which occurred ten years ago according to our official timeline as Greymane asked Arugal to bring in the beasts as the Scourge were assaulting his walls.

If you wish to play someone with amnesia, we still need to know his past, and it sounds like you want a Kaldorei worgen.
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#18
It would explain his height if he were a Kaldorei worgen. Otherwise he'd be shorter. Guess I'll have to work on the profile again. But it's way past bed time at the moment and I'll just get to it tomorrow, first thing in the morning. I'll bump when done. The Kaldorei nelf is a special profile? If so, this would probably be my first special profile and I have no idea how they work. 4:16 AM here so I'm just gonna go hit the sack.
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#19
Kaldorei worgen are special, yup. It really doesn't work all that different beyond it's judge a bit more closely and requires two approvals over one.
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#20
Okay, I made the edits. Hopefully this is enough. If not I'll write more and edit what is needed. I know this is a special profile if I'm going to play a kaldorei worgen there for I can't play him until it is approved. Hopefully this will resolve it self quickly, I do enjoy the RP on him.

EDIT: Spell check complete.
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#21
There are many areas that either could use commas, or could use the removal of commas. For a few examples,

Quote:Ray Shadowcrest originally called Enranlaen Woodrage was a night elf born
Two. One at the end of 'Shadowcrest' and the other at the end of 'Woodrage'

Quote:As a child when he was just growing up, he knew he wanted to be a druid, to be in tune with the nature.
You could remove the comma before 'he knew he wanted to be a druid'.

Quote:Soon enough a shando took him in as his apprentice, Enranlaen would study the druidic ways with great passion and enthusiasm
Semicolon instead of a comma at the end of apprentice would work there.

Quote:He worked closely with the other druids to do as such and his father
I would change the wording to 'He worked closely with his father and the other druids to do such'.

There are plenty more mistakes. I would ask you to read through it again and check your grammar. There is also something that stood out.

Quote:In due time the druids came across Goldrinn and sought to assume forms of the wolf.
The wording. Goldrinn fought the Burning Legion during the War of the Ancients, which was about one thousand years before your character was born. Saying they 'came across Goldrinn', to me, is a bit odd when night elves would know about him and his death/disappearance when fighting the Legion. Also note that one of his fangs were used to make the Scythe of Elune, which is what turned the Pack Form from "turning into wolves" to "turning into worgen".
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#22
Alright I did some edits. I'm afraid I'll need some hand holding when it comes to grammar, I'm bad at it. Mainly with commas and full stops. Sometimes even construction of sentences.
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#23
I'll comment on something else, then. I would bump up his age by another thousand. Druids have to go to the Emerald Dream to learn new forms. Don't want him learning forms while he is too young, after all.
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#24
I'll see if I can't put this through a spell-check, but it's a busy day. At worst, I'll do it tomorrow!
[Image: 6RpTZgI.gif]
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#25
I've bumped the age.
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#26
I'll give this a first approval (1/2). Just remember: A Kaldorei Worgen is stuck in worgen form. They cannot change.
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#27
I am aware and that was the original concept of the character before it came here. No other form than worgen.
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#28
It's been four days now. And I was told special profiles are to be bumped after 4 days. So here it is. Bumpity.
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#29
It's been another five days and still no response as to second approval... I miss this character :C
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#30
My apologies for the wait, Dug! That's our bad. Sorry for the inconvenience of losing the character for a while, too!

(2/2)

For the FH who wikis this, just overwrite the version that's currently on the wiki.
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