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Small Donuts and Two Coffee
#1
Here is something I wrote :*

(( Beware, here be spicy language. ))

It's over. You are tired of it.

Dunkin Donuts on the corner of the street by your work. Every morning you stop in there for exactly two donuts and a small coffee. The same guy has worked there for 4 months. You have stopped in nearly every morning in that whole time.
Every time he asks you how many donuts you want and what coffee size. He remembers what donuts to get and what coffee to make.
It's that he asks you how many, and what size.
Every time.

Maybe it is company policy.
That he can remember what to get and which to make, but he is fired if he assumes that you want two donuts and a small coffee. That you could sue him for all he's worth. It's probably not much.
You stop the car. It's raining.
You start it back up again.

Why bother.

No, you're already late for work, let's not make it late without reason.

Your dog had been hit by a car 2 months ago, another lie about it and people will start calling the news station about ‘the dog who could.'

You shout f**k and hit your driving wheel.

You open your car door with enough gusto to knock a poor guy over.

You help him up in the pouring rain.
You're too nice for a guy who's going to beat up a man working at a coffee shop.

What is his name, anyway?

You don't remember. You suddenly feel hypocritical, but it doesn't matter as you open the door to Dunkin Donuts with furor. A few people turn and look at you.

You, soaked to the bone, wearing a black trench coat and nice leather driving gloves your mother gave you for Christmas.

You're going to beat up a guy with driving gloves your mother gave you.

You move through the line of people, looking around maniacally for the guy. He's behind the counter, asking someone how many donuts they would like. This only fills your furor. He is ungrateful to everyone here like that. You suddenly hate him with burning passion, and the only thing you want to taste are his tears. Is he too tough to cry? Now is a good time to find out.
You push through a woman and her kids.
And a very fat man.
All the while wondering if you left the car on.

You did.

The man can't even choke out ‘Excuse me, sir.' All the way before you bound over the table like a jungle barbarian and start hitting him in the face. People scream.

Of course they scream.

You hit him about 4 times before people drag you off of him.

His nametag reads “Tim.”

You beat up a guy named Tim.

The scent of blood and leather is all you can smell. You bound back over the counter and make for the door. Your car is still there.

It's still raining.

You don't know what to do with yourself.

You go to work. You see your conquest on the news.

---

You go to The Donut Stop now. The guy is getting the hang of what you want. His name is Alex.

Maybe Tim just wanted you to remember his name.

Then he would start remembering what you want specifically.

You think about asking Alex if it is company policy to make things without asking what they want first. You think better of it and decide to just pay the poor kid.

The smell of leather and money fill your nose. You're wearing your driving gloves for the first time since you beat up Tim. No wonder Alex is looking shakier than usual. You pay him extra and you are on your way with two donuts and a small coffee.

Just the way you like it.
[Image: wMRLoCF.gif]
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#2
That is ace.

Great use of repetition to show his maniacal state of mind, brilliant stuff.
God save those who work in Dunkin' Donuts..

Did you have specific inspiration for this, or purely off the cuff?
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#3
Xional Wrote:That is ace.

Great use of repetition to show his maniacal state of mind, brilliant stuff.
God save those who work in Dunkin' Donuts..

Did you have specific inspiration for this, or purely off the cuff?

Thank you. :D

I didn't have a particular inspiration, I just wrote as I pleased.
[Image: wMRLoCF.gif]
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#4
The jerk that beat me up better watch his back because for the love of all that is good and holy, I'm gonna tear him to shreds!

*Cough*

Good post. I liked it. ^^
[Image: Valen-Sig.gif]
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#5
That, my good sir, is an excellent piece of writing!

I had fun reading it, at least.

You get a star.




Move him into the sun—
Gently its touch awoke him once,
At home, whispering of fields half-sown.
Always it woke him, even in France,
Until this morning and this snow.
If anything might rouse him now
The kind old sun will know.

Think how it wakes the seeds,—
Woke, once, the clays of a cold star.
Are limbs, so dear-achieved, are sides,
Full-nerved—still warm—too hard to stir?
Was it for this the clay grew tall?
—O what made fatuous sunbeams toil
To break earth’s sleep at all?
[Image: 62675bf4fd.jpg] [Image: 0e7357dcfe.jpg]
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#6
Best. Story. Evar.
Jeneal jumps into the water. "HAHAHAHAHA!" She turns into a seal.
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#7
Thank you all! :D
[Image: wMRLoCF.gif]
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#8
Anski, have you heard "3 A.M.", by Eminem?

It's a rap song. I'm not a big fan of rap, but a friend suggested I try the album, and I did; "3 A.M." has a slight tinge of your story in it - a serial killer goes into a MacDonald's and kills all the workers.
Horrific, yes, but still - interesting in context of this post.

If you do choose to listen to it, you'll probably find it on <!-- w --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.Dizzler.com]www.Dizzler.com</a><!-- w -->, though I'd be wary - the lyrics are not safe for work or a family environment. Swearing and graphic references in abundance.
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