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The Fine Line Between Online And Offline.
#1
The Fine Line Between Online And Offline

Recently I have had a bit of trouble figuring out my emotions online and offline, it may slightly be part of my disabilites such as 'over sensitivity', but I'm not getting into that. I want to make this topic, to help both myself, and anyone else having difficulties such as this. You see, the fine line betwee offline and online is actually very fine for some people, but some people thing it is large, and the people who think this line is thick, this topic is not for you, because you are having no problems with the line.


Now, this story starts off with a little person named Bob. Bob had a relationship online, with a female character named Sally. Bob and Sally had a lot of fun together, one day, Bob proposed to Sally, in game, of course, but it seemed that the proposal was a little too personal. Bob said stuff OOCly during the proposal about how they are perfect for each other, using words like 'I' and 'You', and even 'We'. Sally knew what was going on. Bob did not understand the Fine Line between offline and online.

Bob had believed that he was his character, and that Sally thought of Bob as his OOC self, and not his IC self. You see, Bob was too focused on things like relationships that he was unable to get in real life. He took it in game to find the one that would make him happy. Something he should not have done... Bob never saw Sally again...

If you believe that this story is true, then you understand the fine line. Of course, this story is not true, and the names relate to no one in particular, but you know how it feels. If you have ever had any trouble with the fine line between offline and online, think of it this way, to have a few options:

1) Take a break. Get some fresh air, relax.

2) Forget about it, and move on. Yes, it is hard, but in the end, you will feel much better.

3) Get help from someone, there is always someone to help you out when you are down.


If you have had this problem before, and chose one of these option, good job, you successfully helped yourself, in game, and out. Now, thank you for reading this, if it helped, leave some positive feedback.
[Image: irrBWF6YSrv8I.gif]

Spoiler:
  • Tabby - Owner of a Tabby Cat.
  • Dawn - One With The Earth.
  • Simon - Wimpy Nerd.
  • Cory - Bad-Ass.
  • Khrysti - Dumb.
[-] The following 1 user Likes Traid's post:
  • Spiralin
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#2
Bravo, very well written.
[Image: Ml7sNnX.gif]
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#3
One of my RP romances somewhere ended up in real life and in marriage and shit. When two roleplayers roleplay long enough to actually like each other I guess such stories are fine. Though there was no IC/OOC blending.


I just have to put the counter example wherever I can. Forgive me. :3
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#4
Balth3465 Wrote:One of my RP romances somewhere ended up in real life and in marriage and shit. When two roleplayers roleplay long enough to actually like each other I guess such stories are fine. Though there was no IC/OOC blending.


I just have to put the counter example wherever I can. Forgive me. :3

I'm pleased to hear that. Still, though, your example seems to be the one where the affection was mutual, which is all well and good. In fact, I'm very pleased to hear everything worked out, but in the scenarios being discussed, the affection isn't, and one player is sorely mistaken. Yours is not really a counter example so much as it is an exception to the general rule, in my opinon.

Stuff like this does happen, and has happened to people I know. It's a sad occurrence, really, but abiding by any of those three options should help anyone who's having trouble with something like this thicken their line a bit.

Anyway, kudos for writing this. Good work, Traid. :)
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#5
I think Traid is just saying that you shouldn't mix your OOC and IC feelings. I know that I met Rigley through roleplaying, but if I was to fall in love with every person I had fun rping with then I'd have about 5 boyfriends. :b

I don't think we need a counter-example. Some people just need to realize despite what our characters do, OOCly they'll probably be "just friends."
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#6
Wuvvums Wrote:I think Traid is just saying that you shouldn't mix your OOC and IC feelings.

Exactly! Thanks for the explaination!
[Image: irrBWF6YSrv8I.gif]

Spoiler:
  • Tabby - Owner of a Tabby Cat.
  • Dawn - One With The Earth.
  • Simon - Wimpy Nerd.
  • Cory - Bad-Ass.
  • Khrysti - Dumb.
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#7
Very well put. To me it seems hard to believe that someone would mix up their OOC and IC feelings but this kinda explains why some folks start griefing on losing a roll fight.
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
Bertrand Russell
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#8
Ive had scary incedents (thankfully not ever on this server), where IC relationships have lead to the person assuming we were in an OOC relationship, and raging on any male character who tried to RP with me. Was freaky :S
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#9
Bravo, good chap.
It's nice to see something like this posted that parallels the "dun get mad when you get kilt" sort of thing.
People are so avid on making sure no one takes IC conflict seriously
that they tend to skip the more fluttery sides of RP reactions.
An IC fight does not need to produce OOC anger.
An IC romance does not need to produce OOC love.
Neither are emotionally safe for people that are easily influenced.

As anyone who's RPed for any amount of time will see, you will make OOC friends through RP.
Some of my closest buddies I've met here on CotH.
But you shouldn't let IC actions influence this.
"Everybody sees what you appear to be, few feel what you are..."
-Niccolò Machiavelli
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#10
I actually had it the other way around, I RP'd with my girlfriend. : D

... What a lame comment, good job traid.
Azheron's back in business. For reals.
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#11
Shane Wrote:Very well put. To me it seems hard to believe that someone would mix up their OOC and IC feelings but this kinda explains why some folks start griefing on losing a roll fight.


Actually that's certainly a matter of "winning" the game, though perhaps loosing a roll fight is seen as "ashaming" OOCly.
I believe this guide should expand on the problem as a whole. (Hence my counter example)


Also, I must second that.

Quote:As anyone who's RPed for any amount of time will see, you will make OOC friends through RP.
Some of my closest buddies I've met here on CotH.
But you shouldn't let IC actions influence this.
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#12
So...in simple terms:

It's a game, what happens to your character does not happen to you as the player.

Wait...I'll make a fancy metaphor:

When you color a picture and you stay within the lines, it looks good, but when you begin to cross the lines the picture ends up looking like an exploding mess.
[Image: anim_500.gif]
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#13
I've undergone these type of situations more than once, and none ended up pretty. I was more than partly to blame for all of them though, which one I'm very ashamed of.

I know myself I can draw a line between offline and online, but some, well, perhaps I ended up abusing my roll in some of their lives, and ended up hurting the other party more than was ever intended to. Sure, it all started as a game for me, playing this male character and starting these relationships online. But as I said, I ended up regretting one of the many I had, and since then I haven't set foot in that community ever since. I won't tell which one, or with whom, I'm only saying you should be careful with your actions; who knows how others should be affected. Stay clear on what you plan to accomplice in roleplay, and don't take things too personal, if even at all. IC should stay IC, and same can be said about OOC.

Don't play with fire kids; you might end up burning your hands on it.
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#14
I am pleased to see this thread. It resonates with me.

A couple of years ago I staffed a game in which there was a troublesome player who was unable to differentiate between his real life and the game. Depleted of out-of-game human interaction in his day-to-day life, this young man would treat the game world as his actual world. No job. No school. Nothing. He was logged in, based on our records, 24 hours a day. Breaks were given with the character still present to accommodate meals, bathroom and some sleep.

The problem arose when he forged a romantic interest and proceeded to hound her in every way possible. She cracked. And we found out in the course of time she wasn't the only one. We had way too many logs and records to ignore it. He'd received warnings and not acted upon them. So as the Head Staffer for the department handling the issue, I made a decision to ban the player permanently.

His response? He traced my email address, began researching, and before long had all of the information on my place of work, position, real name, home address, and phone numbers etc. His idea? To pay me a visit.

I cannot stress to anyone enough that THIS IS ONLY A GAME. This cannot be the sum total of your life. It is entertainment. And I mean that sincerely when I say ENTERTAINMENT. It is no different than having a favorite series on TV that you enjoy watching regularly, or going out with your friends and joining a pool team. To require anyone to have a full-body, soul, mind, and heart dedication to this game that outweighs their connection to the real world is foolish.

Personally speaking, I have a husband who I don't want to have to reintroduce myself to at the end of the day. One day, we hope to have children that shouldn't have a mother saying, "In a little bit, honey, I have to push this plot forward!" when they're asking to have a storybook read to them. My friends shouldn't be standing aside hoping for dinner dates and good conversation while I click furiously on my laptop. We are all surrounded by a world far greater and more interesting than any game a creator could code into existence.

But, that's just my opinion.
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#15
Nicely said, I have actually heard stories similiar to this, but you worded it very nicely.
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