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The Healthy Discussion
#1
The Healthy Discussion
-A guide to, you guessed it, a Healthy Discussion.

So, out of nowhere I decided to post this, hoping it would help someone / prove to be somewhat useful or present a good read.

In my opinion, a healthy discussion is where the people involved in said discussion listen to each other’s points, whether you view them as insignificant, poorly presented or otherwise at fault, before you reply with your own argument. This shows the other part that you not only respect them, but value their opinion and words without carelessly throwing them over your shoulder and not reviewing what they say and then replying with your own argument, stating that this is the only right option.

While you can put in your personal view on things, do not bluntly deny everyone else and perceive everything as an attack against you personally. A discussion is about a subject, the matter at hand, It’s not about hitting your opponent until he accepts your values or beliefs / agrees with you.

Listen.
Respect each other.
Keep to the subject of the discussion.
Do not get personal, nor shall you perceive anything as a personal attack against you unless that is the clear purpose of the statement.
Do not put words in your opponent’s mouth. They said what they said, not what you wanted them to say. If you’re confused, ask, and never think you heard differently and telling everyone what you heard, when in fact it was not at all what was said.

Below I shall post some examples:
EXAMPLE 1:
Subject 1: “I don’t believe that we should join in this assault on the village, sir. As it goes against my beliefs and the general order for which our country stands for.”
Subject 2: “Well, I say we attack right away, yes? Good. You’ll attack when I tell you damnit! Left flank advance!”

In the above example, subject 1 presents his views and case on the matter, while Subject 2 shows no signs of having listened or understood what Subject 1 was talking about. This is not a healthy discussion, infact, no discussion took place.
EXAMPLE 2:

Subject 1: “I don’t believe that we should join in this assault on the village, sir. As it goes against my beliefs and the general order for which our country stands for.”
Subject 2: “Your personal opinion means little, as we are a unit under a higher command, yet I understand your view. Our country might be just and proud, but we have our orders, recruit. Wether we like them or not.”

Now, in this example, subject 1 presents his case, while subject 2 replies to what he said, showing that he listened, and processed what was presented by subject 1. From this point, Subject 1 could continue to question the mentioned orders, and, if subject 2 continues to listen and respond accordingly, this would be a healthy discussion.

Sorry for the terribly coding of this thing..
Feedback Thread.

Common Sense; Questionable, still there.
[-] The following 12 users Like Spiky's post:
  • Bingles, Rigley, Wuvvums, Cressy, Krilari, Sadron, Harmonic, Loxmardin, ChampionMouse, Sol, Xigo, Spiralin
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#2
I like Healthy Discussions, they make everything and everyone more caring. I endorse this message by Spiky c: .
ohǫnˀadaga:yǫh

gnome guy

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#3
Political content below.
Spoiler:
[Image: barack-obama-signature.jpg]
Hand me some feedback!
Spoiler:
Quote:I don’t want you to protest,
I don’t want you to riot,
I don’t want you to write to your congressman because I wouldn’t know what to tell you to write.
I don’t know what to do about the depression and
the inflation and the crime in the Streets.
All I know is that first, you’ve got to get mad.

You’ve got to say:
I’m a Human being God damn it !
*MY LIFE HAS VALUE!*
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#4
I know that this is a guide on how to make healthy discussion ICly, but what if sometimes, the discussion is unhealthy ICly? Do players want it to happen or not want it to happen?

Example

Subject two: *after describing to subject one that they are going to raid a small enemy emcampment* Well, are you with me?
Subject one: W-well I don't know...
Subject two: *hands subject one a weapon* Alright, let's go! *subject two charges into the encampment for the fight, whether or not subject one was ready*

In this situation, subject one is uncertain about taking an action that subject two is pushing, but subject two doesn't even catch subject one's uncertainty. Subject two charged into battle without even considering if his friend was ready or not. This is because subject two is characteristically inconsiderate and brash. I can't think of any other variations of this kind of situation, but they exist when they happen. Once in a blue moon I'll have a character that acts like subject two in the above situation, and I've always wondered if it's OOCly inconsiderate to play a character that might force some roleplay pressure on the other player due to their character's behavior and judgement being very different than the one I'm playing. It can happen both on accident and on purpose. What are people's opinions on situations of RP pressure? I know I'm not the only one who's been in either or both of subject one and/or subject two's shoes before.
[Image: anim_500.gif]
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#5
Pretty sure this isn't about IC matters but OOC.

Edit: *Totally sure.

Edit 2: Although I can understand how the examples given would make this confusing. I had to read through it a second time because those did throw me off a bit.
[Image: desc_head_freemasons.jpg]

△Move along.△


△△
△△△
△△△△

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#6
(07-22-2012, 09:47 AM)Rensin Wrote: Pretty sure this isn't about IC matters but OOC.

Edit: *Totally sure.


I read the examples Spiky gave as being IC exchanges, because they read that way, and if the examples were supposed to be OOC exchanges then I'm thankful to have never really been in the situation where the other player was ordering me around like a captain. Even if it misunderstood the main topic, the point of my reply was that IC discussion can also be unhealthy and has to be dealt with when it happens for better or for worse. Plus, the states of being IC and OOC are counter influential. *shrug*
[Image: anim_500.gif]
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#7
They may seem like IC exchanges because they discuss extraordinary circumstances that most all of us would never have to make a decision or discussion for. I think this was intentional so that we wouldn't have to debate about the subject matter in the example, or so it wouldn't feel like he was personally referencing someone else and calling them out.
[-] The following 2 users Like Wuvvums's post:
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#8
Quote:so it wouldn't feel like he was personally referencing someone else and calling them out.

Yarp.
Feedback Thread.

Common Sense; Questionable, still there.
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#9
(07-23-2012, 06:45 PM)Spiky Wrote:
Quote:so it wouldn't feel like he was personally referencing someone else and calling them out.

Yarp.


It was totally me, 'cause I'm the most important person ever in existance.

But really, I think sometimes I do relate to this problem. I've been trying to change that fact.
[Image: NXAwd.png?1]
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