Negativity and us

[Aisha]

Hey there everyone! Once more I pop out of nowhere with something completely useless, but this has started to bother me and I am sure a lot of you have noticed it over the past few months. Yes, I am talking about the dark shadow that is falling over CotH like the Burning Legion over Azeroth and shakes the entire foundation of our community:

Spoiler:

NEGATIVITY
negativity - characterized by habitual skepticism and a disagreeable tendency to deny or oppose or resist suggestions or commands

Yes... That exact horrid demon like Archimonde. I know, I know... Some of you might be surprised and even think I'm making things up, but really now. Looking around at what has happened in the past few months; it becomes quite self-explanatory.

Before we continue I just want to say that this is not intended to hurt or hammer anyone down. This regards everyone, including myself. It's becoming a massive CotH wide problem.

I just can't stay and watch as these explosions occur and the further we go... the more often they become.

In the past few months we've seen people leave abruptly and not return or be semi-inactive due to undisclosed reasons, which, in recent times are not related to real life, but more to the frustration that has been rising in CotH. We all remember how a certain few of us hammered down on GMs upon leave... and it was quite a blow below the waist. Now, most of us see it just as an immature act, which it was, but some things should NEVER be said no matter how much you hate someone.

Yell on me all you want, but I bet you that the immature behavior of those people have made most of the GM staff go on a short fuse. I am certain that the GMs will not agree with me on this one, but that is a normal response to such behavior from people; your trust drops.

But why? Why is there so much negativity? Why does CotH seem to explode unexpectedly in a wave of swearing and hate? Sad to admit it, but there is somewhat of an underground in CotH. No matter what is done, there will still be people that aren't pleased so that underground is inevitable. This concerns both players and GMs. And from this arises a huge problem... People start to judge people wrongly. This is the internet... most of us act differently in life, because here you can preserve your anonymity to a certain extent. Here's the fun part where someone starts to hate someone for a certain post on the forums or a bad conversation in-game... Next thing we all know... BOOM! Flame war!

Then there's the stupid, I'm sorry, but it really is... stupid hate created during RP. Some of us have started to take the game too seriously and we get haters that just hate you because you killed their character ICly. It will go into a flame war of how you had no IC reasons and all that... EVERYTHING just to get you banned. Or just general hate because they ditest your character and they mix this hate with player hate. Once more, in the end, when the jar of hate overflows... Flame war!

Yet, one of the biggest and main reasons for such negativity is real life. Unwillingly we bring our real life frustration into the game and either start some sort of hate wave or fuel one to start. Surely there are people, like me, that love a good Role Play if they had a bad day. Yet, we can be on a short fuse after a bad day and someone on even a shorter one lights the fire and once more... the next thing we know... BOOM! Relax... We all make mistakes and besides, what good will your ranting to the GMs bring? They will become frustrated; that's what! And in the end... it's the GMs that will be the most frustrated as the person you report or snitch on yells at them.

The last reason I'd like to talk about is the relationship between GMs and players. They've grown quite tense recently and a wall of fear and hate has been built. It's very uneasy when people are starting to fear the GMs and guess who's next to blow his fuse and get hammered down with a ban. I can understand why... Don't get me wrong, but GMs have been quite rash and on a short fuse recently, but that's understandable too. From what I see, some players see some GMs as monsters or enemies and vice versa. Yet, I must say that our beloved GMs should move their finger away from the trigger of the ban-gun. I understand it gets frustrating at times, I've been a GM on a few games, but there's nothing bad that won't turn out good eventually. Yes, some people won't know how frustrating it can be without trying it themselves, but this is where respect should always kick in. Players... Rule #1! GMs are people too and they have feelings and limits. Which brings me to one more thing: GMs, please rest and relax when you're frustrated, because it can greatly cloud your judgement.

STOP! I say enough of this! The only thing that needs to be hammered down is the negativity.

Dear CotH, I'd just like to remind you and myself, all of us. This is a game! WE are here to have FUN and not to fight eachother over stupid things, yet alone a game or its lore. If you are feeling frustrated and someone's lack of lore knowledge or RP is getting to you - LEAVE. There is no need to start a hate wave! Rest, take a load off, relax and don't be rash. Never jump to conclusions if someone is saying something ICly. If my character said that she hates your character - it doesn't mean that -I- as a PLAYER hate -you-. Just stop a minute and think, don't take things that seriously or personaly. We're a community! A great one... That is what makes us different from the other servers. Lets not tear it down! Be polite, point out things you don't like to the player nicely, I'm sure something can be worked out... It shouldn't be all hate and PMing GMs to have that person banned. If we go on at this pace, eventually everyone will be banned for small things and new people will stop coming because they will fear being hammered. And this is meant for EVERYONE, including our dear GMs. Lets all get along and work as a community to knock down this wall of hatred. Patience!

Respect, tolerance, maturity! Read the rules of the server... and for crying out loud: HAVE FUN!

Surely I created a: "We hate Aisha club" with this, but I don't care. I am forgiving and I am sure I'll work something out with the haters.

- Aisha

[Cressy]

Yet, I must say that our beloved GMs should move their finger away from the trigger of the ban-gun.

Just going to say this, because I -know- you are sadly mistaken. Rarely do we ban players and never is it a short-fuse ban. We actually do talk it over before we ban players and there has to be a majority rules sort of opinion. Well, except for when people rage-quit, say intolerant things, or threaten people, then that -IS- an instant ban.

[Aisha]

Yet, I must say that our beloved GMs should move their finger away from the trigger of the ban-gun.

Just going to say this, because I -know- you are sadly mistaken. Rarely do we ban players and never is it a short-fuse ban. We actually do talk it over before we ban players and there has to be a majority rules sort of opinion. Well, except for when people rage-quit, say intolerant things, or threaten people, then that -IS- an instant ban.

Call it rumour mongering, but that's what I've been hearing and seeing around in-game from other people. I'd actually prefer not to disclose some things myself to avoid negativity myself.

[Cressy]

Understandable, but if you ever are curious about who has been banned and for what reasons, you can always take a gander at our Banned Accounts listing.

Edit:

Call it rumour mongering, but that's what I've been hearing and seeing around in-game from other people. I'd actually prefer not to disclose some things myself to avoid negativity myself.

And this when you should nip it in the butt. Say, "Quit it, we have enough drama going on, we don't want anymore!" I know it sounds lame...But if you turn the drama mongering into a negative thing, then people will stop. Or threaten them with me, that is always pretty good.

[PiesOfNub]

I speak on behalf of Cressy, and the rest of the GM team.

Yeah, I've been in a bit o' trouble with the GMs (Well, the Benice incident). I didn't receive a ban. I didn't receive a 3-dayer from it. With the guidance of the Almighty Kretlord and Grakrawr, Maul, Rensin and myself talked it out in a non-hostile manner, and solved our differences. Hell, I even noted quite a few times after than Rensin took a shine to the Maulbaby.

GM/Player relationships take their turns, spills, and discrepancies, but they can always be improved if both parties work at it.

[Aisha]

Understandable, but if you ever are curious about who has been banned and for what reasons, you can always take a gander at our Banned Accounts listing.

Edit:

Call it rumour mongering, but that's what I've been hearing and seeing around in-game from other people. I'd actually prefer not to disclose some things myself to avoid negativity myself.

And this when you should nip it in the butt. Say, "Quit it, we have enough drama going on, we don't want anymore!" I know it sounds lame...But if you turn the drama mongering into a negative thing, then people will stop. Or threaten them with me, that is always pretty good.

That's why I'm not even going there and not saying anything else about it.

I speak on behalf of Cressy, and the rest of the GM team.

Yeah, I've been in a bit o' trouble with the GMs (Well, the Benice incident). I didn't receive a ban. I didn't receive a 3-dayer from it. With the guidance of the Almighty Kretlord and Grakrawr, Maul, Rensin and myself talked it out in a non-hostile manner, and solved our differences. Hell, I even noted quite a few times after than Rensin took a shine to the Maulbaby.

GM/Player relationships take their turns, spills, and discrepancies, but they can always be improved if both parties work at it.

Very correct. That's what a community is about. Not about exploding like a bomb over the forums throwing hate left and right.

[Knock]

I think the main thing that causes negativity is lack of communication. Not on a community scale, but more of an individual thing. About a month ago I was talking to someone in-game about an issue they had with a GM (won't name names obviously). Basically a GM had done something IC that the character thought was very unfair, but hadn't said anything to a higher up GM because, as he said (quoting multiple GM posts), "A GM's word is final". While this is true for matters like character profiles etc, there's a reason the admin GMs are there. What the player should have done was contact someone like Kret with screenshots of the incident and have a discussion about who was in the wrong, but instead he did nothing and let it slide. His opinion of the GM in question is pretty low, and probably will be forever.

My point is, there should never be animosity between GMs and Players. If there's an issue the player feels should be dealt with, then it's up to the player to see that that issue is brought up, through a PM and not through a ragepost. I know if I ever have an OOC problem with a player, I'll just take it up with a GM. If I have a problem with a GM, I'll take it up with Kret or Grak, because I trust them to deal with it. Granted, I haven't been on the server too long, so I haven't had a reason for any sort of OOC arguement, but I know that if I did it's my responsibility to get it sorted.

If a GM's in the wrong, it's important to remember that they're only human. While they have more responsibilities and abilities here on CotH, they're not our gods who'll smite us when angry or answer our ever prayer. Individual animosity can fester and grow if it's not dealt with, and after a while it builds up on a community level. It's not entirely the fault of the players themselves, but it's usually related to issues that should have been raised when they were relevant.

If you've got a bad opinion of a GM, then don't let it fester. Ask yourself why, and try to see it from their point of view. If it's an issue you feel should be raised, then PM an admin about it and let them know how you feel and why. Better yet, PM the GM in question personally and tell them how you feel and see if they can understand where you're coming from. A bit of constructive criticism never hurt anyone, and I'm sure GMs will take it to heart just as any player would. Just don't make it personal. Don't be all like "I don't like you because you're xyz". Say something more along the lines of "I think you should know that when you did xyz it made me feel [insert emotion] because blah blah blah... Here's how I feel you should have dealt with xyz." That's what I'd do anyways

[Avitz]

Throwing my two cents in, I agree with Knock. I think the community as a whole needs to do more together, rather than go off in the small groups.

When these groups start to mix, in areas such as Booty Bay or where ever, some good rp comes off, a clash of ideas, and some good outcomes, problem is that the groups of people also form OOCily, and sometimes when someone new comes in, or the groups mix then people feel a bit annoyed by the "Newcomers" to their circle of rpers.

I think the community needs to do more together, maybe rp with peeps you normally don't, or invite others to partake in a rp in some way. This includes the gm team, as we are all here to enjoy ourselves with rp.

My two cents remember, which may or may not miss what is causing the problems here.

[Azheron]

Being honest here, if I have a problem with a player (Like the player is meta-gaming or som'n), I do -not- take it up to a GM. Ever.

The whole process is way too frustrating for my small brain.

I just ignore it, had to edit this in.

[Aisha]

Well, the whole idea is for us to pull together and always speak out so any situation, bad or good can be settled in a proper, mature manner. Instead of being like the lot of you point out: staying in your circle. Guess these circles are like radioactive atoms that are highly unstable.

e=mc2 = big badda boom on da forumz!

But yeah. Pull together people! Have fun! Be friendly and go out RP with more people. You might not like them from the side, but I bet that once you RP with him - you'll be happy and impressed.

[anji]

It seems as though every internet community I go to is supposedly declining by the time I get there. I've only been here five months, so I don't know where some of you are coming from, but I do know that the best solution is positivity. Actions speak louder than words, don't they? Perhaps we should all take a moment to be friendly to strangers, and open RP with the kinds of people we usually pass on by.

[Harmonic]

People may or may not believe this, but there have been -many- instances where I have talked to people about our issues before banning them.


Cressy was one of those people, so was tales, Maulbane, Pies... the list goes on. Over the years I've learned as a GM that conflict resolution is -beyond- "I'm right, you're wrong, accept it", and it may -appear- differently because some people I -am- less tolerant with than others. Why? Because in my experience, I know when to try and resolve an issue, and when to just outright nip it in the bud, like Cressy was saying.

Bans are not handed out lightly. It's quite sad that people are still rumor mongoring that we love to ban others, when in actuality, we have -long- discussions before we do. The only time we -ever- deem someone a wrong fit for the server in a short ammount of time is if we get a hefty ammount of complaints about a person, with reasonable backing such as screenshots.

Usually, the case with people saying we are "ban happy" usually involves people that have been -talked- to, or have lost a friend from our server who has had above instances happen to them. And through the wonder of the grapevine they have monstricised us, and made us out to be these horrible people that ban on a whim.

Sorry guys, we don't have short fuses. We've had to deal with a lotta bull, like people divulging our private warning threads, but what does that say about the character of the person you're listening to?


Edit: Oh, and even Jidaeo too. And Piroska and I have quite a bit of open communication, although that one doesn't get into trouble, heh.

Kretol is the king of that sort of stuff though. If you have a problem, I -do- whole heartedly suggest talking to Kretol about it, especially if you have an issue with a GM.

[Etmosril]

I agree with your post earlier, Knock (but don't want to quote it 'cause that would waste space). Not to mention you put it much more succinctly than I would.
It's never an acceptable thing to hold a grudge/animosity towards another player (this includes mods, yes) without trying to resolve it peacefully. I've seen firsthand so, so many times how miscommunication can wreck anyone's relations or even that of an entire organization of people.

I'd just like to add my two cents. Don't take those things so seriously. When you don't know all the facts, you should still try to frame the possibilities in as favorable a way as possible.
Don't assume someone's being arbitrarily mean, there is a malicious purpose behind their actions, or that they are being lazy/uncooperative.
In short, don't create animosity where there is none.

The whole point of this server is to have fun. I realize that drama will always be present, but for the sake of fun, we want to keep it as minimal as we can.
Do not detract from the fun. It is serious business.

[Aisha]

Not going to quote either... And yeah, I totally agree with Rensin there. I myself have noticed recently that people start to see GMs as monsters for no reason at all or they hope that they are gods and have their expectations shattered, because GMs are -people-. Not monsters, not robots or gods or whatever else some people might think of.

Though, I am quite surprised at the low interest rate on this thread. It might seem that only the people that spoken out get the idea which I want everyone, especially those drama mongers, to understand.

Exalted drama queens and kings; your royal highnesses, please... change your driving gear from DRAMA to FUN. That drama you monger gets me and everyone frustrated! Don't be killjoys!

See what an angry sad faced post I made because I was frustrated? All because I love this server and the people on it. Don't ruin it, please.