10-03-2010, 08:27 PM
Gerald, you understand, is not my full name. My full name is Kobold Vermin, after my father, who is also Kobold Vermin, and also my mother, Kobold Vermin, which I understand is something of a slur among your kind. I assure you my mother is a most excellent woman, and in her day she was quite a looker, with long, silken sidewhiskers and a very melty candle. I tell you this not because I harbour inappropriate attachment to my mother but because I anticipate your instinctive revulsion to my race.
When I was but a pup, and I had ingested (not literally, if we are talking literal ingestion I am highly partial to a shiny red apple, washed down by some refreshing spring water) a great deal of improving literature the notion came to me that if a kobold was to choose his destiny he would do well to choose his name. Kobold Vermin, alongside Kobold Worker, is a very popular name where I come from, you see. So I hid myself behind a tree stump and for many days I watched the adventurers come and I considered quite a few names, like Ipwnsulol and Epixhealz and Hotgurlbabe but eventually settled on Gerald, which has served me well ever since.
When I was but a pup, and I had ingested (not literally, if we are talking literal ingestion I am highly partial to a shiny red apple, washed down by some refreshing spring water) a great deal of improving literature the notion came to me that if a kobold was to choose his destiny he would do well to choose his name. Kobold Vermin, alongside Kobold Worker, is a very popular name where I come from, you see. So I hid myself behind a tree stump and for many days I watched the adventurers come and I considered quite a few names, like Ipwnsulol and Epixhealz and Hotgurlbabe but eventually settled on Gerald, which has served me well ever since.