12-11-2010, 04:15 PM
"Butch of course, ya' grog-snarfing warthog faced scallywags! Some time ago he finally met his match. An arrow to the throat was all that was necessary to snatch the life out of our pirate fellow's paws. As simple as it sounds this was just the finale to a pretty eventful day. So get yer mug of rum and gather 'round the table lads and lassies, the story of the greatest pirate of all is about to unveil.
It all started in the tavern of course. The beginning of any self-respected swashbuckler's adventure! As our well known friend was drowning his boredom with the good ol' rumsey at Nixxie's while fighting ten men, bare handed of course and with just one arm... dancing dwarfish folk dances on a chair at the same time, he decided to make some extra shinies. And so Jamie took a few collars from his room, choked a squid and left for the outskirts of town. "Ooh, but what happened to the ten men he was facing against?" you might ask. As soon as he finished his drink, he just stared at them so viciously and with such fierce they instantaneously went to dig their own graves and lay in them. Aye, that's what happened! Anyways, back to our story... So he exited the tavern and headed outside of town. Of course his first stop was the local blacksmith. You see, the breastplate he was wearing wasn't shiny enough for such a sophisticated man as our ever so amazing corsair. He gave the armor for repairs and left, conveniently ending up waiting in front. And ever so conveniently he met an elf looking for some random expendable pirate lad who just happened to roam quite drunk outside of town. A bit of chit-chat, some more time waiting and they were finally heading outside, woo!
As many of you know, roads connecting our beloved port to the rest of the world aren't as safe as one might think. Actually they aren't safe at all. At. All. This might explain why our two fellows witnessed a pretty much obvious murder just a few feet away from the entrance. And who could've done it but our well known friend Coriv! Known for killing us decent "businessmen" yarr! But that's a different story which, frankly, I'll tell ya scabs some other night, aye. Now where was I? Ah yes, he went up a hill with his new friend who was an elf, a back stabbing treacherous one as a matter of fact! Stay away from those crooked elves I tell ye' me hearties! Not long after, a potential slave showed up. But what started as a mere assault on an unfortunate wanderer ended up in quite a bloody massacre resulting in yet another of Butchie's legs being chopped off. The elf of course switched sides just before they attacked the poor traveler, joining the fifty man army that happened to be crossing the road at that time. Magi, warriors, paladins heck even ogres were amongst their ranks.
As you might have thought James didn't go down without a fight. Outnumbered fifty to one all he could do was to pray his sword would go easily through the mob's necks. Slashing, lunging, jumping, rolling. One by one the enemy's lines grew thinner. With thirty down and almost as many to go it appeared to be quite the task even for our almighty buccaneer. They decided to spare him and enslave him. Yeah, yeah ironic isn't it? Though things weren't that bad. One of the largest elves in town, who also happened to want Butch dead, decided to interfere by getting into an argument with one of our hero's capturers. This is when the mysterious elf lass showed up. She appeared to be extremely eager to talk with Jamie in private. Of course, which lass in her right mind wouldn't, heh! Unfortunately she wasn't here for this... as a matter of fact half an hour later she'd be the woman in history to have ever defeated our ship-plundering freebooter!
Foolish enough, Butch decided to follow her to a waterfall nearby. As soon as they arrived and found out they weren't going to be skinny dipping, he realized what she was sent for. Not before mentioning the name of the biggest back stabbers of them all! Polite enough, his assassinator gave him the chance to defend himself and even showing her face. What followed was an epic demonstration of skill and determination. Parry after parry, jump after jump. Spinning and leaning, hopping and jumping to the sides! Every shot counted. Whenever the blades contacted with skin they showed no mercy. Every wound deep, every punch crushing. Soon from the hill the battle moved to the water. Exchanging punches and claws eventually she managed to succeed. Worn from the previous battle and severely crippled, the odds were definitely against Butch.
It is a well known fact that humans can't breathe in water... especially while fighting for your life with an assassin. A well placed punch got the wind knocked out of him. The lass then dragged his unconscious body to a nearby shore only to face the meanest and deadliest dwarf in these parts of Azeroth! The fight was more than outstanding and I would tell ye 'bout it but since most of you are already as drunk as a fiddler's dog I'd rather keep it for some other time. Now let's come to the conclusion of tonight's story.
The dwarf, even though a formidable opponent, wasn't able to prevent the morbid event that would follow. The lass took her bow and aimed it at James. With the last drops of life left in him, he managed to ask the assassin for one last favor. "Tell him he's a poopy head!" That were his last words before being kissed on the neck by the cold arrow head, ever so effortlessly planting itself deep into his neck. Warm blood poured down, soaking the soil and eventually reaching the water which slowly started to change its color. Soon enough the dwarf regained consciousness and dragged Jamie back to the tavern. After a short pause over there, yeah right there next to One-eyed Pete's leg, the long bearded lad brought him to his room where his motionless body is resting even as we speak. Though I swear I saw some strange looking folks to enter it a few mornings ago."
Obviously the story is extremely exagarated at places, generally becoming truer to what actually happened as it progresses onwards. Butch didn't defeat ten men neither was there a fifty man army. The participants were around seven or eight. And please pardon the narrator's sense of humor. He's just a local pirate after all.
Killer: Assassinated by Faei.
Resurrecter: Tavren via a soulstone.
Temporary Drawbacks
------------------------------
Lost his hair since some wise guys decided to shave it off.
Since his body is recovering from such a severe injury he gets -2 to HP in fights.
His neck is extremely vulnerable resulting in an instant crit if hit without him wearing some sort of protection.
Permanent Drawbacks
------------------------------
Mild paranoia.
Somewhat mentally scarred.
Butch's neck is noticeably weaker than before resulting in +0.5 damage to any attack inflicted to it.
(No metagaming please.)
Highly reduced ability to run properly due to both his legs being artificial now.
It all started in the tavern of course. The beginning of any self-respected swashbuckler's adventure! As our well known friend was drowning his boredom with the good ol' rumsey at Nixxie's while fighting ten men, bare handed of course and with just one arm... dancing dwarfish folk dances on a chair at the same time, he decided to make some extra shinies. And so Jamie took a few collars from his room, choked a squid and left for the outskirts of town. "Ooh, but what happened to the ten men he was facing against?" you might ask. As soon as he finished his drink, he just stared at them so viciously and with such fierce they instantaneously went to dig their own graves and lay in them. Aye, that's what happened! Anyways, back to our story... So he exited the tavern and headed outside of town. Of course his first stop was the local blacksmith. You see, the breastplate he was wearing wasn't shiny enough for such a sophisticated man as our ever so amazing corsair. He gave the armor for repairs and left, conveniently ending up waiting in front. And ever so conveniently he met an elf looking for some random expendable pirate lad who just happened to roam quite drunk outside of town. A bit of chit-chat, some more time waiting and they were finally heading outside, woo!
As many of you know, roads connecting our beloved port to the rest of the world aren't as safe as one might think. Actually they aren't safe at all. At. All. This might explain why our two fellows witnessed a pretty much obvious murder just a few feet away from the entrance. And who could've done it but our well known friend Coriv! Known for killing us decent "businessmen" yarr! But that's a different story which, frankly, I'll tell ya scabs some other night, aye. Now where was I? Ah yes, he went up a hill with his new friend who was an elf, a back stabbing treacherous one as a matter of fact! Stay away from those crooked elves I tell ye' me hearties! Not long after, a potential slave showed up. But what started as a mere assault on an unfortunate wanderer ended up in quite a bloody massacre resulting in yet another of Butchie's legs being chopped off. The elf of course switched sides just before they attacked the poor traveler, joining the fifty man army that happened to be crossing the road at that time. Magi, warriors, paladins heck even ogres were amongst their ranks.
As you might have thought James didn't go down without a fight. Outnumbered fifty to one all he could do was to pray his sword would go easily through the mob's necks. Slashing, lunging, jumping, rolling. One by one the enemy's lines grew thinner. With thirty down and almost as many to go it appeared to be quite the task even for our almighty buccaneer. They decided to spare him and enslave him. Yeah, yeah ironic isn't it? Though things weren't that bad. One of the largest elves in town, who also happened to want Butch dead, decided to interfere by getting into an argument with one of our hero's capturers. This is when the mysterious elf lass showed up. She appeared to be extremely eager to talk with Jamie in private. Of course, which lass in her right mind wouldn't, heh! Unfortunately she wasn't here for this... as a matter of fact half an hour later she'd be the woman in history to have ever defeated our ship-plundering freebooter!
Foolish enough, Butch decided to follow her to a waterfall nearby. As soon as they arrived and found out they weren't going to be skinny dipping, he realized what she was sent for. Not before mentioning the name of the biggest back stabbers of them all! Polite enough, his assassinator gave him the chance to defend himself and even showing her face. What followed was an epic demonstration of skill and determination. Parry after parry, jump after jump. Spinning and leaning, hopping and jumping to the sides! Every shot counted. Whenever the blades contacted with skin they showed no mercy. Every wound deep, every punch crushing. Soon from the hill the battle moved to the water. Exchanging punches and claws eventually she managed to succeed. Worn from the previous battle and severely crippled, the odds were definitely against Butch.
It is a well known fact that humans can't breathe in water... especially while fighting for your life with an assassin. A well placed punch got the wind knocked out of him. The lass then dragged his unconscious body to a nearby shore only to face the meanest and deadliest dwarf in these parts of Azeroth! The fight was more than outstanding and I would tell ye 'bout it but since most of you are already as drunk as a fiddler's dog I'd rather keep it for some other time. Now let's come to the conclusion of tonight's story.
The dwarf, even though a formidable opponent, wasn't able to prevent the morbid event that would follow. The lass took her bow and aimed it at James. With the last drops of life left in him, he managed to ask the assassin for one last favor. "Tell him he's a poopy head!" That were his last words before being kissed on the neck by the cold arrow head, ever so effortlessly planting itself deep into his neck. Warm blood poured down, soaking the soil and eventually reaching the water which slowly started to change its color. Soon enough the dwarf regained consciousness and dragged Jamie back to the tavern. After a short pause over there, yeah right there next to One-eyed Pete's leg, the long bearded lad brought him to his room where his motionless body is resting even as we speak. Though I swear I saw some strange looking folks to enter it a few mornings ago."
Obviously the story is extremely exagarated at places, generally becoming truer to what actually happened as it progresses onwards. Butch didn't defeat ten men neither was there a fifty man army. The participants were around seven or eight. And please pardon the narrator's sense of humor. He's just a local pirate after all.
Killer: Assassinated by Faei.
Resurrecter: Tavren via a soulstone.
Temporary Drawbacks
------------------------------
Lost his hair since some wise guys decided to shave it off.
Since his body is recovering from such a severe injury he gets -2 to HP in fights.
His neck is extremely vulnerable resulting in an instant crit if hit without him wearing some sort of protection.
Spoiler:
Permanent Drawbacks
------------------------------
Mild paranoia.
Somewhat mentally scarred.
Butch's neck is noticeably weaker than before resulting in +0.5 damage to any attack inflicted to it.
(No metagaming please.)
Highly reduced ability to run properly due to both his legs being artificial now.
All we are is dust in the wind...