It already killed the cat.

[Errata]

January the seventeenth, Monday, dawn.

I've spent more than an hour for an appropriate sentence to mark this journal as mine but I haven't discovered any sentence that would beat my explanation of the lack thereof. At least I never resorted to addressing my journal as a diary and pasting a picture of a pony on the front of this book. I fear the day that I might address my journal.

I'm beginning to fall apart or lose track of things. I don't know what it is but I'm fairly certain it's linked to my limited sleeping pattern. Ever since I got back from the Shadow Realm I can't sleep as much as I used to. I rarely sleep yet I don't feel tired. I should cut down on the coffee.

Oh, coffee.. I love thee. That dark, hot body of bitter hell. I'm afraid it's the thing that's keeping me up. From now on, I'll stop drinking coffee in hopes of reduction of my sleep deprivation. Fingers crossed. The coffee could also explain my waning vision. I've seen multiple shadows dancing in the corners of my eyes. I have to admit, shadows dance with more grace than most people possibly could. I'm glad I don't see people dancing out of the corners of my eyes, that would be weird.

January the seventeenth, Monday, midday.

Okay, new plan. I shall quit drinking coffee next thing tomorrow. I need at least a day's notice before I attempt such a drastic change. I'm also thinking of changing my hairstyle. Perhaps a bun or possibly braids?

I've seen a couple of shadows dancing in the dark. A waltz I shall not be able to shake for some time, I suppose. I hope my own devised therapy of writing in a book and stop drinking coffee is going to aid my senses. I'd hate to hear the music these shadows are dancing to, they would probably taunt me.

…

I'm a horrible dancer.

[Errata]

January the eighteenth, Tuesday, around midnight.

It only has been an hour since I vowed it was my last coffee but I can't keep my mind off it. Maybe I'm addicted or maybe I just like my coffee. I've gone without coffee for longer than just an hour but the thought of laying off the bitter hell does seem to be discomforting. I need to take my mind off this addiction to such a peculiar drink.

I'm not addicted, I know I'm not.

Maybe I'll have better luck solving the cipher in that book Marianna gave me with a clear head. The only thing so far I've uncovered is one cipher and only a minor one at that. It seems to change with every page, as if it's evolving.

I need the cipher to the first page first of all, so I'll start working on that.


January the eighteenth, Tuesday, early morning.

So far, my research is not progressing the way I would have wanted it to. The cipher is harder than I imagined, even on the first page. This will take me at least a week to crack, possibly most likely even more. I've been analyzing the page and trying to put it all in order for over three hours.

That reminds me! I have slept for a good.. Fifteen minutes. I wasn't particularly tired but I gave it a shot. Still, it's longer than I've managed to sleep for a good while, perhaps it was the coffee. Fifteen minutes isn't going to replace my former sleeping pattern, though.

Maybe I'll try and not close my eyes the next time I'm going to sleep. The darkness keeps me awake. Ever since I returned from the realm I've had my vision adjusted. It was a subtle change yet it changed the world so much. It's as if the Light blinds me and obstructs my vision while the darkness clarifies the image. It's as if my eyes have been polarized, if a Gnome would give it a term.

It's a topsy turvy world.


January the eighteenth, Tuesday, somewhere along the evening.

This just in, I'm dying. Marianna didn't mind leaving it less sugarcoated than it could be. It was a play of words yet I'm still worried about the end result. It was a short reality check. She chuckled afterwards, I joined in. It still doesn't sit right with me.

My stomach is still shook up after I had my little dance with Marianna. She's going to try and pull my strings. Clearly, she still needs to find my strings before she can start pulling them. Until then, she'll just throw me around and.. Punch me in the stomach.

I'm no nearer to solving the cipher as I've been chauffeuring supplies for some Elves who have moved into the tower. It took me two damned runs and a chunk of time just to carry two crates of food across this decrepit area. At least there was a cool breeze to strike my cheek.

I'm going back to drinking coffee, I've lasted a day. Tomorrow will be much more joyful with that wonderful drink! As it turns out, I'm simply dying. The coffee wasn't keeping me from sleeping, just being a messed up wreck was keeping me from sleeping. Seeing as I cannot quite being that same wreck, I'll just have to live with my insomnia for now.

I saw two desks. The world is losing it, I amn't.

[Errata]

January the twentieth nineteenth, Wednesday , just after breakfast time.

I had eggs and bacon on a few slices of full grained bread. I have no clue what any of that should mean, the bread at least. It tasted excellent, I should've thought of having breakfast before.

Research on the cipher is going slow, the coffee I had at night helped a slight. It toughened my resolve but I shall not admit to having addiction to it whatsoever. It does bother me to a certain extend. The cipher is only a small part of the unlocking process. I still have to find it and then I'll have to find the second cipher that bends the first cipher.

Furthermore, I need to decipher the book which is great fun!


January the nineteenth, Wednesday , a tad later than the previous entry.

I am annoyed. The new inhabitants of the tower seem to have to clear rules, not that I ever went by rules but I had figured that Elves would live a structural sound life. They're loud at times, silent at times when I had rather have them loud and the look at me with certain hatred. Their ranking is still unclear to me but I think the ones who have been drinking felblood a bit longer than the others get to deal the blows and make the plans. Why are they basing their system on who seems to be the most reckless?

The most annoying part of it all is how they seemingly act. Higher ups rule with an iron fist but have ears of paper. They rip so easily and when that happens.. Let's just say.. They don't know how to look after themselves. They only know how to please their sadistic natures and what road is the quickest to grant them the most power.

Maybe not all of the Elves go by these standards. I'll see what they are like over the course of time.


January the nineteenth, Wednesday , evening.

Well, after a somewhat tiresome afternoon of skipping around between the tower and the catacombs I've finally met a long lost acquaintance. And by that, I meant.. Something actually happened except for a grand move of Elves into the tower or a Gnome who constructs limbs out of rust and felflames. Martin seems to have a keen interest in the catacombs, I'll just note it here so I won't ever forget to keep an eye out for him.

Two eyes. More would be better but I'd like to trust the old man for all the things he did before. For example, not killing me was a great start.

It's been too long since my last cup of coffee. I AM NOT ADDICTED!

[Errata]

January the twentieth, Thursday, noon.

After I woke up today, I brushed my teeth. This is false. I don't wake up and I most certainly don't have any teeth. I do have teeth, don't get me wrong. I just don't see the point in brushing your teeth in the morning. I came down after a night of equal length to any other night and there was another unfinished game of chess setup on the table. I wonder who keeps going about the tower in the deepest of the night to play a game of chess. Do they play against themselves or is there some sort of midnight chess club which I have not been informed about. I'll go into deeper detail to find out about this.

White was winning. Black was cornered.

Speaking of black. Writing of black, I believe I earned myself another cup of coffee. The only sad part is that I have to go on yet another exodus to the catacombs to get my drink. My poor feet.


January the twentieth, Thursday, afternoon.

Ah, coffee! I managed to avoid staining my journal for four straight days already. I wonder when my journal will suffer its first stain. It should not go through life unscarred and unchecked. It might grow into a rampant fever that will consume me. I'll need to keep it in check.

Later. This coffee is too good to be spilled upon these pages. It wants me to spill it on them, I figure. Just to have a sip of the divine. I shall get back to studying the book and trying to crack the cipher. At least I had some of my daily fix of coffee.


January the twentieth, Thursday, yet again in the afternoon.

Something curious happened. I blacked out while I was trying to solve the cipher. When I regained my consciousness I was holding a curious artifact in my hand. I don't know what happened but I believe it was the craft of my own hand. I tried to solve the puzzle, somehow I could see the structure of the puzzle after a careful examination of the object. It all seemed to fit.

Maybe this is a way to unravel the cipher. I really want to think it is. If this is just a pointless other thing.. Eeeh, it does look rather nifty. Maybe I can sell it on some sort of market.


January the twentieth, Thursday, evening.

It just had to happen, didn't it? I stop paying attention to what is going on and people start dying, literally. I just figured out this small detail about the prayer I was trying to figure out for a while now. The corpse actually walked! Not in the direction I wanted though. Then it hugged a complete stranger who then perished. I can't stress it enough that I had absolutely nothing to do with this death nor the death of the headless corpse.

Now we are royally screwed. Marianna sided with the dead persons and now the living are responsible! Can you believe it? I certainly can, it just happened to me. So let me just get a straight list up here and then.. We shall hope for the best.

- Find head. Easy.
- Conserve headless body… Lots of embalming fluids, perhaps?
- Look for possible ways of resurrection of a headless corpse.
- Look for more ways to get a corpse moving.
- Even more viable ways of making corpses move on their own.
- Animate corpses.
- Find chemist. This one shouldn't be too hard.
- Get coffee.

That'll give me at least something to cross of my list. We're being productive today.

[Errata]

January the twenty-first, Friday, midnight.

I counted it down and it's officially Friday. I told myself not to write anything in the journal until Friday after my last entry yesterday. It would guarantee my efforts. But it didn't. I've only had my coffee, the list is looking rather bleak right now. But I'll get to that!

I finished the puzzle. I could see the solution and it was just figuring out how to actually solve it with that solution but I finally made it work. Then some fancy mage copied it a couple of times with I don't know what kind of trick it had been. She managed to solve it as well. The chaotic thing is now compacted into a black ring, I could actually wear it around my finger but I'm not entirely sure what would happen if I do so. I'll try it on someone else for starters.

Oddly enough, no chessboard today. Perhaps it's only on certain nights every week. I would think Thursday night one of the best nights to play chess though. Maybe I'll get to the bottom of this yet. I just need to keep an eye out for pawns playing with queens. And vice versa.


January the twenty-first, Friday, late afternoon.

It's been some day. I'm already calling it a day for my part. I've been flung around by a felsworn after denying her the sole rights to a prisoner of Marianna. She wasn't all that happy. Not happy at all. I caught a few good punches with my face as well. At least the pregnant Elf, she says she's a whore, is still alive. Marianna would be somewhat pleased.. She is a bit dull, though. She hasn't resigned herself to the unimaginable doom in which she is in.

The ring remains a mystery. Marianna couldn't make heads or tails of this ring. Which is good because I'd think I wouldn't like to have another head or a tail for that matter. A ring is just fine by my reckoning.

I'm starting to hear things that aren't there. No, let me rephrase things. I'm starting to hear thing that others can't hear. It's as if the world is slowly being invaded by the next one. I see shadows flicker. I can see light dancing. The sound of running water is perhaps a cheerful one but damned annoying if you can't shake it.

I'll just have a coffee. Maybe I'll spike it with something halfway decent. More coffee, perhaps? Some rum wouldn't be back either. Possibly some whiskey.

Note to self. Do NOT buy Marianna jewelry.


January the twenty-first, Friday, near midnight.

Thinking of heading to Darkshire but how do I manage to hide my eyes and body? I might even get arrested with my looks.

Sunglasses. Definitely!
Diver helm.
Morphing Stone.
Get arrested.

It seemed an easy choice after I had listed all the options. I couldn't pay for the first two and I had no need to pay for the last one. Besides, it might get sunny in Duskwood.

HAH! Heh..

[Errata]

January the twenty-second, Saturday, morning.

Darkshire was dark today. I suppose the name is enough to give you a hint of the lighting in darkshire. There was more streetlight than I could remember, several lights were still broken. I got the things I needed and went.

I went to haunt some beggars. There were none. Yet a delightful conversation followed.

I'm still not sure how sane I still am. Maybe I had a conversation with a figment of my imagination. Am I still followed by more shadows than just my own?

[Errata]

January the twenty-fourth, Monday, dawn.

I failed the journal. It's even in the word! Journal. I had to write in it every day for it to remain a proper journal but now it is nothing more than an empty shell of my past writings. I shall continue with writing, if only to desecrate this journal's corpse.

It's been a lazy weekend, and still no chemist around to aid me. By aiding me I obviously mean aiding Marianna but it would really help me with not getting punished by that half-demon. I shall have to speak to Erida about this. We really need to pick it up if we are to find a capable chemist who can aid Marianna.

Other things in this lazy weekend would've been a tournament and a scheduled revealing of.. A plan to build a ziggurat. Nothing spectacular.

Sunday was a day of rest and annoyance. I haven't made any progress with deciphering the code. All I did do was read up on this spell I never noticed. I cannot believe I never saw the spell before. I read all the legible parts of the book three times over. Not that it matters now, I'm sure this one will come in handy. Shadowy needles, I wonder what purpose they could serve.

Still no unfinished chess games. Only a finished chess game. Black was the victor.


January the twenty-fourth, Monday, afternoon.

Wonderful, wonderful needles! It may have taken me several attempts and it may have pulled me some strings. At least it wasn't I who was pulled through the eye. I managed to fabricate a doll very similar to someone. She was occupied with anything else so I decided she was able to pose for the doll. Now I just need to know what use there is in crafting dolls in the likeness of others.

I never had this kind of skill in tailoring before.. Well, I did but I thought I had lost it somewhere along the way. Perhaps I'm just reconnecting to old habits. I heard they tend to die hard. As far as I know, I am treading on the path of my destiny. It feels right.

It will be soon time to drink some coffee. I can use some relaxation before I plummet into the full depths of my book. I need a new way to go about this cipher.

A dog barked at me. When I turned my head, he wasn't there. Am I being chased by invisible hounds?

[Errata]

January the twenty-fifth, Tuesday, somewhere along the early day.

My days are getting more useless the more I think about it. Perhaps thinking about my days isn't the right action to occupy myself with. Maybe it's just the sheer amount of Elves I have to work with recently. I'm hating myself for actually growing more tolerant of the bastards but the time I'm spending with them show that they aren't all smug and self-absorbed. Not like I would've imagined.

I'm still debating whether the reason I started writing this journal has been the main reason that was keeping me to write this journal. I feel like I haven't dropped in sanity. All that ever meets me that would indicate that I'm losing it are the shadows. They keep reoccurring, they're growing more frequent and more intense.

I never re-read my words but now that I did. I might be losing it after all. What better way to resolve an identity crisis or whatever it may be than a nice hot cup of hot coffee.

Note to self. Take writing classes.


January the twenty-fifth, Tuesday, evening.

I asked around, no one seemed interested in giving me a writing class. Then again, I only asked an eyeless ghoul and a library attendant who might as well have just glued his finger to his lips so he can clarify himself some more. I shall ask around, possibly to people who I know should be better writers than me. Maybe Erida would be interested in it but I wouldn't blame her if she didn't take me up on the useless offer. Just dot.

The cipher isn't progressing. I have put in countless hours. Sure, you would be able to count the hours I've put into it but it still wouldn't amount to anything. Just like my search for the cipher. I am just hoping it will reveal itself eventually so that I won't waste my time on.. Seemingly nothing. I shall just practice the spells that are legible and expand upon those.

The burden of last week still weighs me down. Yet again I am reminded of that darned chemist. Perhaps something will happen that causes Marianna to forget it ever happened. I certainly hope so.

[Errata]

January the twenty-sixth, Wednesday, noon.

I am still alive. It's either a miracle or I'm damned. I was just reading in the tower until Caidrah walked in. The idiot threw my book away, kicked me around and dragged me off to the combs. I am annoyed. She can walk in and grab me by the scalp and use my body to destroy a wall and I am not able to do anything against it. Am I just looking at my life instead of living it?

I am writhing and writing. Pain has become me once again. It is fortunate that I have a large amount of troll's blood potions in store for these occasions. Now I am at least not bedridden for another month because of broken ribs, legs, toes and arms. I shall measure Caidrah's reaction the next time I see her. If I am still risking my life by merely being around her then I shall stop being around her.

I am setting up a chessboard. It looks like these injuries will take time to heal, even with all the potions I ingested. Maybe I'll be able to defeat myself once again.

The worst part of this all, I can't get any coffee as I sit nearly paralyzed in this sealed room.


January the twenty-sixth, Wednesday, dusk.

I won a game of chess. There weren't many other options. I could've drawn, I suppose. I am still not sure what the plays mean. So what if white won? Would I be a good person? Would I be a bad person if black maintained steady control of the field? Why does white even make the first move. Evil always comes before good. It says so in.. In my journal. Chessboards and life lessons.

I can walk again. I'm glad I'm not a fluke at alchemy. Not in the way that I mess up my speech craft. The potion I had made worked just fine albeit a bit painful as well. What is healing bones to having them broken anyhow?

It is time for another stroll and a cup of coffee. I deserve such a treat after today.

Note to self. Get a small flute, choking is not nice.


January the twenty-sixth, Wednesday, evening.

I still like coffee.

[Errata]

February the twelfth, Friday, evening.

Aha! I found you, you little rascal.

Dear journal, I'm not going to start today but I figured I'd mention it somewhere near the start of this entry because I haven't recorded anything in a good while because I had lost this little journal. So I owed it a few kind words to make up for the broken relationship of the last two or three weeks. Then again, it might have hidden itself from my sight on purpose only to spite me and luring me into a false sense regret. I shall not regret anything from now on.. About this journal. Uncle Jerry worked at a dairy farm. How futile words can be.

Apart from taking a long and much needed holiday, I have also had almost no coffee in the last few weeks. It is, so to say, unsettling.

I'm still being haunted by shades.. Ghosts.. Sounds.. I don't know what I'm haunted by sometimes but I know I'm haunted.

Thank the shadow I am not the only one haunted.


February the twelfth, Friday, later that evening.

I have seen some odd things when I went fishing. I have some odd things when I did not go fishing. Men without much talent for fishing chasing women in red? How is that supposed to make me feel any better? I don't even know what she looks like, he wouldn't let me take a look. It could've been fun.

Time to dedicate myself some more to studying this book, it is interesting indeed.

Time for coffee.