Twinkleblast Demolitions

[Kiffles]

Twinkleblast Demolitions

Do you often find yourself staring at a giant rock wall, without any possible way of blowing it to smithereens? Celebrating a special occasion, but have no magical, sparkly rockets to propel into the sky in a fit of glee? Or are you just at a loss for things to help you set other things on fire?

Look no further! Twinkleblast Demolitions in Ironforge has everything that you need! For fair prices, we sell everything from gunpowder to rocket fuel, from sparklers to cluster bombs! Come in and browse around, or ask about having a commission done for a custom explosive!

Not only will we make a boomer to fit your needs, we can also deliver anywhere in the Eastern Kingdoms, or ship anywhere across Azeroth! (Twinkleblast Demolitions asks that you commission one month in advance in such cases, or two months for larger shipments.)

No knowledge in lighting off bombs? Afraid to lose a limb? Let us do the limb-losing for you! We provide professional demolition tasks for anything from paperweights to wrought-iron dams! Our work is always thorough and carried out with the proper safety so that we may ensure the safety of staff and customers.

So come on by to Twinkleblast Demolitions! We're located in the Commons, just off to the right of the bank hall.



-We are currently HIRING!-
Do you seek a thrilling life of setting things on fire or crumbling mountains like they're made of stale marshmallow? We are looking for able-bodied, capable demolitionists to work as delivery personnel, compounding assistants, demolition assistants and shopkeepers to help the company to run as smoothly as possible! Experience is a plus. Up to three weeks of training required, depending on position. Ask for Josie if interested.



Contract
(An example of the contract that Josie will probably have anyone fill out, should they buy a large/dangerous order, or be hired on as an employee.)

I hereby agree that I, _____________, will not hold TWINKLEBLAST DEMOLITIONS accountable for any damage to myself or others, invoked by explosives, ammunition or any other devices from TWINKLEBLAST DEMOLITIONS. I will not press charges, should the following incidents occur:

- Loss of limbs.
- Loss of facial structure.
- Loss of hair.
- Loss of any part of body, significant or otherwise.
- Loss of another person's part of body, significant or otherwise.
- Hemorrhaging from any orifice.
- Hemorrhaging in general.
- Burns, severe or otherwise.
- Blisters.
- Deafness.
- Headache.
- Disorientation.
- Loss of vision.
- Breathing difficulties.
- Nausea.
- Joint pain.
- Broken bones.
- Fatigue.
- Pregnancy.
- Miscarriage.
- Euphoric fits.
- Pyromaniacal tendencies.
- Violent intentions.
- Murderous rampages.
- Terrorism.
- Involuntary bowel movements.
- Sudden cravings for quiche.
- Wolpertinger maulings.

(The contract goes on and on like this for quite some time. It's probably easier for one to just try not to hurt themselves.)

X_____________________

- - - - - -

(( In other words, Josie's opening up her shop again! You can RP with her to get some sweet bombs or to snag a position of employment with her, orrr whisper me on her in-game, or send me a PM, and we can set something up. :3 I'm also open to questions and feedback! ))

[PhilGobatto]

Is this long gone? It seems so.
But wait, what? Pregnancy? How can someone get pregnant from a rocke--... *Looks at Rocket-Chicken in Booty Bay* Ah...