Another Wendnesday

[Krilari]

Warning, this does have light catholic religious concepts, if this does offend you, do not continue.

G'day everyone. I just have a short amount of time ti ramble, so I will take my window of opportunity and do such. Today I'd like to go off briefly about GM - Player relations.

Often enough, players have complained about us (The Gamemasters) for doing a myriad of things from being too strict, too loose, breaking our own rules, explaining lore wrong, denying their character concept, so on and so forth. Yet there is one problem with this- They rant to other players. We are not telepathic, we can not automatically tell when people are displeased or when they believe we have done nothing wrong. Ultimately this all comes to one thing:

The Gamemasters function on feedback and constructive criticism.

Currently, we are getting none, zilch, zero, nada, nothing. So, my friends and peers, I beseech to you. Give us feedback, give us Constructive Criticism, tell us of your opinions, do not assume we are telepathic.

On a much lighter note, I hope you all have been having a good day, and for a few of others, you may understand how important this day is to about 1.4 Billion others.

Today is Ash Wednesday, a day of repentance and cleaning as we enter into the Lent season. This will mean a few things for me, given I intend to take up fasting this year in hopes of improving my horribly neglected physical appearance. However this can also mean a few things to you, my friends. I give you this challenge, one single challenge, and that is to take someone you hate, someone you can't stand, and forgive them.

Ease your relationships with them, calm them down, treat them with respect that all humans are owed, attempt to cool the tension between you two.

You never know, you might get a new friend out of it.

Have a good day everyone.

~Krilari.

[Piroska]

S'always comes down to communication -- or a lack thereof!

I'd just like to reiterate that I've always found Kret to be a good and impartial listener if I've had any complaints, concerns, or questions. I also know from my stint as a staff member that he's very capable of being discreet; if you tell him something, he's not going to go directly to the other person and relay who said what. So don't be afraid to provide feedback! Nothing will ever change unless it's relayed. Calmly, precisely, and politely, of course.

Also, remember that providing positive feedback is just as important as the negative. I think it's good to occasionally drop a line letting the staff know when someone is doing a good job or has helped out in a huge way or gone beyond the bare minimum. I bet you that hearing that would really make a staff member's day!

That said, I think that it's also important for staff members to recognize that they are potentially going to be judged and that not all of the feedback is going to positive. It won't encourage people to provide feedback if the recipient of criticism goes to the forums or publicly complains about it. Especially if this is a frequent occurrence. That just makes it more difficult for people to want to go to the staff with concerns.

[Wuvvums]

I actually didn't know today in particular was ashes Wednesday, the Catholic church is pretty big in my community and so I've seen plenty of people go around with ashes on their forehead. Perhaps someday I'll actually practice Lent and give something up, though right now I can't seem to peel myself away from Spiral Knights.

I wish I had some feedback or critique but I've been sort of scarce lately. I hope things go well for you guys.

[CappnRob]

I think you guys have been awesome lately :V Not saying that to be a kiss-ass, I'm srs legit, especially because this past week I did a good deal of RP with several GMs in Hearthglen. If I had a complaint, it'd be some of my friends got banned, but that's really none of my business, and furthermore it's not the brightest issue to take against the GMs with a torch and pitchfork at any rate. I let it go and hope that maybe they'll come back some day.

Really, I'm p. cool with just about everyone on the server. You nubs are awesome.

[Bovel]

It's also the Day of the Dragon killer, St. George and the national day of the scouting/pathfinders movement. A parade together through town with lit torches and then hot drinks by a bonfire and meeting people from all around time you haven't seen a while, all being scouts and friends despite past discrepencies.

My theory on the incongruency between the total amount of complaints and discontent on CotH and what reaches the GMs boils down to two things;
Power to Change - I think -the- main reason to why most of all these feelings and thoughts remain hidden is because most don't believe that their words will make a difference. They don't think a complaint will make their denied character approved or their denied RP suddenly allowed, maybe because they just want GMs go along with it or don't know how to defend their idea. I have for one stood in those shoes, having an idea turned down not sure why and without any idea how to defend my idea. But I grew to rely on the GM team really early on and either changed what did not fit or moved on. I doubt making CotH a better place is the thing on peoples minds even though I think it should, just like you write.

Fear of Power - Yes, those in positions of power can and are feared even if it is for no reason. I remember coming to CotH and being warned about more than one out of the GM team, being told that they are harsh or unfair and so on. These are people that I have come to know and like, but I can see where the rumors come from since some of them have a more forward and less diplomatic attitudes. Though such ideas will only sow a fear to make contact with the GM team about negative stuff. "What if I get banned?" "What if some people don't want to RP with me now?"


How can we change this? I don't think it is something we can change seeing as we have a constantly loss and renewal among our members and that always leaves room for the discontent to paint an incorrect picture. Could you publish a complaint that lead to a change? Sure, but not everyone will read it. More polls when it comes down to decision about server stuff? Yes, but again not everyone will snoop around the forums and vote.

In the end it comes down to all of us if you ask me, we players that have been around must be helpful and kind, we should not make GMs out to be powerhungry or harsh with no reason and when somebody complains, ask them to demand an explanation if they don't fathom why. We are after all a community and should try and act like a responsible one, turning the other cheek and such.


Writing this I have decided exactly who I should give foregiveness and offer an open mind!

[Zhaei]

I don't see the point in complaining about punishment system- don't act in a way that will get you a punishment if you don't want one.

[Anski]

Before this thread catches fire, i'd like to state that anyone being just plain rude is going to have to deal with the rules as if it were no other time. An open forum does not mean an open forum to be a jerk, nor does saying 'I-may-sound-like-a-jerk' beforehand give free pass to do so. Any opinion can be stated in a respectful manner. Nobody will ever be punished for their opinion, but rather for the way they choose to display it.

Two: If you feel something is very provocative and you wish not to have that opinion identified with yourself but still posted, please feel free to PM Kretol or Grakor with your opinion and they will pay it forward to us. This should also fall into the same line of thinking as the first point.

[Nostra]

Well, obviously the most important thing about ash wednesday is that it's the day after shrove tuesday, or Fettisdagen, the day when all true nords gorge themselves on semlor (temlor) and their delicious almond paste treasure. Sadly I spent all of yesterday making semlor (filled with jam and/or vanilla cream though, which is a dangerous danish-norwegian heresy) but not eating any, today however I repent and have so far managed to put two of these incredible little pastries in me. Man do I love a good fika.

Anyway. I totally got off topic there, hope I didn't offend and if I did I put all the blame on the semlor, I mean. . . that's a lot of sugar, you know?

I was thinking about the feedback thing, and something that came to mind was maybe once in a while a couple of GMs could send out a PM or two to randomly selected players asking for their opinions on the server, GM team or maybe even a specific GM (either the person sending the PM or not, if it's different people you might get more honest feedback though). That kind of direct soliciting would probably have better results than waiting for someone to step up, which happens so rarely I think the only times I've seen it myself has been directly after an announcement asking for feedback.

Oh, and going on fast to improve physical appearance might not be the best way, could even have adverse effects. If you're motivated I'd say a better bet would be looking into a good, stable diet. Which is not to say some kind of semi-fasting or anything, might seem odd but checking out /r/fitness might give you some tips as to where to start.

Edit: Irony of talking healthy diet when eating semlor.

[Beltharean]

Irony of getting health advice from 4chan...

Spoiler:

[Dae]

In the end it comes down to all of us if you ask me, we players that have been around must be helpful and kind, we should not make GMs out to be powerhungry or harsh with no reason and when somebody complains, ask them to demand an explanation if they don't fathom why. We are after all a community and should try and act like a responsible one, turning the other cheek and such.


Writing this I have decided exactly who I should give foregiveness and offer an open mind!

Yes, the underlying issue is found with the users themselves, though it is a matter independent of CotH. If both parties are level-headed and respectful about an issue, one should not be afraid of addressing problems head on.
A lot of unnecessary conflict and drama occurs when people feel the need to define and take sides, whether directly or through expressing dissent in the forms of rumors and displeased chatter. The third, more practical option is to align yourself and the other person involved against the issue at hand, whether it be the frustration of not being able to play a character idea, or against some comment they made, or any number of issues. What needs to be done is for someone to address their negative feelings impartially and diffuse the issue.

There are reasons behind the emotions people feel, but this does not mean that they are true, correct, and will justify any negative behavior. I've had a lot of experience with this myself; I have some health issues whose symptoms can greatly exaggerate my emotions. When every interaction feels like a personal attack, you have to be able to understand when what your feeling essentially is not real and deconstructing the what and why you feel is the only salvation.

The thing is, though, this option is only available in the first place because of the GMs here. While I have not come particularly close with specific staff, I have not seen evidence to say that any one of them is bull-headed enough to not put the server first.

Just keep your arms open, GMs. That's all you really can do, but it is enough to send a clear message about the attitude of the server.