To Make a Jewel Smile

[ImagenAshyun]

Three months ago....

              Mahaala. Vylian. Celes. How did I lose all three of you within a span of a few years? I only had you, Mahaala, for five years, but we knew each other since childhood. Vylian, we lasted only three or four months. Celes....we were friends first, and I tried to match you with someone else, but we loved each other. You fought Torr for me, and we even adopted a daughter, and yet.... we still lasted barely half a year. How could this happen? Was it me? Am I repulsive? Aloof? Was I a bad father? A bad mate? I want to believe my loneliness isn't my fault. I want to believe I did my best to save you, Mahaala. I want to believe I am a good papa. I want to believe I am cherished. I want to believe I am loved.

              Patron Polore and Matron Patisha were together for over eight thousand years. There are other Draenei couples who have been together longer. And longer.




              ........................................I see how it is. Third time's the charm. I -am- a bad mate. I fall in love too easily and run a business in love, but I really don't know how love is.... or what it is. Cristovao, a human, has a healthier and stronger relationship with Diwaata than I do with draenei women. I ought to be ashamed of myself.

              Well, I am. I vow that I will no longer... no longer..........




              ....wait. What about The Love Exchange?








              .......No. I can't let my clients down. I can't let Kantado and Tibalan down. I can't let.... wait. Bezington? I haven't seen him since The Love Festival. Where did Jof'waz go, I haven't seen him since the business expo! Raynoltz and Kyramu left. Ishani and Rylei disappeared. I don't remember why I hired Jezzan but I hardly see him around either....

              ...it's just me, Kantado, and Tibalan again, and both are facing family issues that have prevented them from doing their jobs. Apparantly, I'm a horrible mate, father, AND businessman. I can't keep neither my family, friends, nor business together. I haven't seen my friends. My clients just see me as a matchmaker. And Aria.... I could just hand you to Diwaata. You can have a mommy again. A better daddy. A sister. A warmer environment where everyone is smiling. You're only two years old. You won't miss me. No one would miss me. No would care if I di-....

              .....What am I saying?! Have I gone so far off into a deep end that I am considering.... that?! No. No. Think of pleasant things. Think of happy. Uh.... jewelcrafting. Songwriting. Dancing. Breasts. Lesbians. Girls kissing girls.... Celes and Talesta.... Talesta?! Even she's gone! Where has everyone gone?!


              Distractions. That is what I need. New faces. New places. A break... yes. I got it! A sports fair! Happy times! People competing as friends, not enemies. Sportsmanship. Honor. Badges..... pride! Joy. Fun. That's it. Something fun. Nothing romantic... just fun. People love fun. It makes them happy. Gotta get to work...


              ....What's this?

Spoiler:

Name: Xanthe Novalight

Dwelling Location:I was born in Eversong, but now I travel extensively.

Race: Blood Elf

Gender: Lady

Position Sought: Employee/Apprentice Matchmaker

Education and Skills: I am very well-educated, I should think. I can speak both Common and Orcish but my writing is not very good. I do not know much about romantic interactions, but I very much wish to make others happy and will try my very hardest.

Military Experience?: No, I do not have any military experience, and I do not believe in violence. I am very accurate with a bow.

Why do you want to join The Love Exchange?
It will be a good growing opportunity for me and an opportunity to contemplate more fully the nature of others. I have never had a job before but I should very much like to stand on my own feet.

              ....A staunch pacifist? Desire to make people happy? Hm... but she lacks experience regarding romantic relationships. I may be making another business mistake. I may....

              ............Heh. One more won't hurt. I have nothing to lose, really. I'll just have to find this 'Xanthe'.

[CappnRob]

(Kapre and Cristo need to go out drinking more, dude's got prooooblems!)

[ImagenAshyun]

              She’s not that bad. Shy, a little. Her speech isn’t as easy to grasp for me, but then again... I’m still working on my Common. The way she wears her hair reminds me of... no. Let’s not go there.

              Now I just have to think of how I can run the Sports Fair. Jousting seems fun. Maybe fencing can be done? Oh, what’s it called… log birling! That’s right. I can do another race… an archery contest too. Those are always fun.

Mahaala… you love archery. You were a deadshot. Would you like I hold this competition in your honor?

              ...I’m doing it again. I just hired Xanthe and I can’t even think straight on my own business. Distractions… I need some way to clear my head. I know! I can meditate. That always works. Calming my body, calming my mind. The Spirits would be kind to me. They know my plight, and I am blessed.






              You posed as the Loa of Love. A hex has befallen on your mate and has forgotten about you. Memories of the Legion follow you. You are cursed.


                                          Hear the cries of the fallen… of Shattrath...










              ………………… I can’t do this anymore.

              To all employees of The Love Exchange:


              I will be leaving the business as administrator, head matchmaker, and event coordinator.



              Do forgive this short and sudden notice, but ever since Celes and I broke up, the spirit that haunted me since February was finally defeated, and a vision of the felling of Shattrath returned to me in my dreams, I cannot think straight nor concentrate on work at all. I am too weary, too depressed, and honestly, near suicidal. I am normally not this honest about myself towards others such as yourselves, but I realize this lack of honesty has become my downfall. As such, I am to inform you that your Boss is not well in body, mind, and spirit at all. I need this rest.

              I will be stepping down as your leader for the time being despite the Sports Fair being incomplete in planning. During my leave, I will grant administrative powers to all employees of The Love Exchange, though I will leave Tibalan the responsibility of business reporting and finances and Kantado with employment. Until I return, feel free to plan the Sports Fair as however you wish. Just don't run the business into the ground, please.

              Don't search for me--I will return when I feel I am ready. I have Aria with me, so don't worry about her safety.

              If there are any emergencies with the business that none of you can handle yourselves, you may cnntact my sister Diwaata or my brother-in-law Cristovao diSilvio.

              Light's blessings, Spirits be with you, Elune guide your path, Earthmother watch over you, and farewell.


              --Kapre



                            P.S.: Don't file for me a third-person matchmaking profile on my name or I will fire you all.

              I can’t pretend I know what I’m doing. I can’t pretend I’m happy just helping others when I cannot help myself. The haunting will not leave me and I can’t get over Celes. Or Mahaala. Or…


                            I’m done. I’ll come back when I’m good and ready. This façade is destroying me and I will kill myself before I can help anyone.


              I just can’t smile anymore. I’m sorry. I just can’t.

[ImagenAshyun]

Spoiler:

              Friends. They are a nice thing to have.

              I never knew how much of a friend I've had in Andra. Despite barely knowing each other, she has reminded me of my people's values of compassion, togetherness, friendship, and love for your fellow brethren. I felt like I was home without actually being home. To see past the bloodlust, Draenor torn asunder, and the flight from Outland. I felt warm. Comforted. My spirits lifted, even though there were times in our talk that it sank. Yui... she is still missing, yes? I am highly grateful of her companionship when we had it long ago. I am grateful for Andra's companionship even in the now. Aria seems to like her too... well, her muffins. But that matters not. No parent should be separated from their child like this. I hope to reunite them as a family. I wish to find Yui.


              Cristovao... we are more alike than I thought. I never knew you were afraid of the Forsaken like I am afraid of the Krokul and the Lost. You're not as big-headed and pompous as I thought... but you're not as perfect as Diwaata says you are. I have never truly known about the audacity and strength humans have despite your short lifespan. You are wise beyond your years. I never realized I have so much to learn. Your people are so complex, yet so simple. How could I have not seen this before? I am reminded when I was a paladin apprentice. How much I have failed. You succeeded where I have failed. I... see why my sister left her old life behind to follow you. And leave me behind. You deserve to be happy. You and my sister. I've given you the diamond ring that was intended for Celes but I could never give because we were always apart. It was flawed. The scratches looked like intertwining hearts. A symbol of forever.

              Something I could never have.

              Forever.... Even other races that lead long life spans seem to suffer love problems that I didn't know exist.


              Xanthe.... we met again in Ratchet. There were ferns in your hair. Your bare feet were dirty from a long walk. Your lips smiled, but your eyes cried. The situation you had with this necromancer human... I don't quite understand what exactly happened, but I got an idea. I don't want to assume, however. Those are your tears, not mine. You say you do not know how you feel, if this is love... I think there was something. He gave up necromancy for you. He hoped to seek out immortality for you. That's something, Xanthe. Something I know Cristovao will try for. What every short lived creature would. To live forever... for love.

Beyond this material plane, someday, you two would be reunited. Even if you both chose partners away from each other... the promise of forever is within your spirits. As long as both of you are at ease, eternity can surely be by both your sides.

              ....it hurts. I know it does, dearest Xanthe. I still hurt. You're likely to remain hurt for a long time to come, especially if you are unsure of what love really is. I... I know you have trust in me. But I must admit, Xanthe. I can't say this to you out loud. I don't know what love is either. I thought I had it. But I always lose it.

              But with the people who are meeting me... I think I'll find it. What it is.

              I am grateful for you. I am grateful for you all.

              Friends.

[ImagenAshyun]

              Cleaning and organizing my jewelling kit... it's a mess. My wires mixed, my tools are out of place... some of the beads and stones I have here should be tossed. Though revisiting the stones I do have, coming home... many rings and necklaces, I haven't sold yet. I just gave Cristovao the Forever Hearts engagement ring. Perhaps I ought to pick up my jewelry work once more. A change of pace.

...I feel like a song without the words...
...A man without a soul...
...A bird without its wings...
...A heart without a home...

              ...What's this? Oh... so that's where I put it. This was meant for Celes too. A song... a song I have spent weeks, months even, writing. I had to ask for advice from Kantado, and he even agreed to help me write the tune for it. We planned it out and everything. Kantado was going to ask Celes to test out a date setup for a supposed client, then he would starting playing the tunes with a poor attempt at Draenic. Celes was supposed to guess what he was supposed to say. Then I come out and correct it. I'd then sing to Celes. I'd sing to her how much I love her and I miss her.

              But... it's too late now. It won't bring her back. It won't bring us closer. Not anymore.








              Felfire...

              I have visited an elven friend in my travels. She recommended me to go there, if at least for one of the club's debate. Quite frankly, the name put me off--why would a draenei go to a club named "Felfire"? Nevertheless, I came along. In a visit to Outland, I found my old vindicator armor... a deep green, not like fel, but like the grass that grew in Nagrand. The helm hid my face as well as my plates, and the bulkiness generally hid my figure. It was worth a shot.

              The patrons correctly guessed my race... well, there wasn't much I could do for my legs and my tail. Somehow, Cristovao was there, for some reason. I didn't think this sort of club would be of any interest for him. But then, another person was there, and she certainly caught me by surprise...

              Xanthe. We meet again. I truly, honestly, did not think you'd be the type to be engaged in these sorts of social gatherings... nor did I think you were that deep a philosopher. Forgive me for ever possessing such shallow impressions. It's just that... well, actually... heh. I have no excuse. I am simply glad to get to know you more. To know your deeper side. For someone who doesn't understand what romantic love is, you surely get the grasp of peace and universal love.

              Even while I'm on break, I ended up taking a matchmaking profile again. Huh. Though it was priceless to see Cristovao's face when I removed my helm. A shame I couldn't cherish the moment too long.

              Soon after, Miss Claremont has requested some assistance in an anniversary event of the Felfire Club. We agreed to it. A speed dating event, similar to what I had in the Love Festival. It's at this point, I am reminded why I love what I do... why I love bringing people together for togetherness and peace. Seeing Xanthe also a strong supporter of peace has surely brought a smile to my heart. I have considered making a surprise appearance at the Sports Fair by crashing the Joust. Heh. Well, I doubt I'd do a really good job at it, but I want to come back. I want to keep on fighting.

              I can't hide and wallow in my sorrow any longer. It's time I go back. Time to go home. Even if I don't really have one.





              ....strange.

              The Love Boat. This is not just my home. Celes and I bought it together. She brought in earnings of her own company and poured it into the ship. The name was made in jest, mostly... I actually wanted to name if after Saya. Or Mahaala. But I don't want to bring that up with Celes. I didn't want to push her away.

              I ended up doing that anyway.

You used to be the one to put a smile on my face...

              It seems not everything has been resolved yet. But... like I said. I cannot wallow in my sorrow no longer. No. My strength lies in my company. My daughter. My family. My friends. I will find that courage to move on forward. I must live for the present, not the past.

              I'm here to stay. I'm not leaving again.

I'm never going to leave your side...

[ImagenAshyun]

Spoiler:

The below Krilari image is outdated and slightly retconned. That Kril should be the current one, with the current look.

              These pictures are silly.

Spoiler:

Where did those sand worms come from?

              Ah, I had so much fun! Jousting wasn't as hard as they make it out to be, even though I wasn't particularly good at it... I only managed to knock down Mr. Richter. But, ah... I'd do it again if the opportunity arrives. I love this sport! Combat without the bloodthirst and animosity. All in the name of sport. I am happy these individuals came forward moreso for fun and honor than war over territory and resources. Or xenophobia or racism. Or hatred. Or....

What am I fooling? I have to get back to work.

---

Spoiler:

              Right. Xanthe needs to learn how to do profiles. Shouldn't be hard.


              Apparantly, her writing isn't strong... well, in either Orcish or Common. Her speech is fine, but writing is another matter. Her first attempt at a profile wasn't particularly strong; it was riddled with errors. Our guest Taz'garrak, who lent himself as the test interviewee, was already kind enough to go through the process, and I believe I made him uncomfortable. I don't want this to be another situation with Tibalan where miscommunication happens and the profile is unusable. Another test interview won't hurt. But who can be the test interviewee?

              ...I suppose I can use myself. I'll just keep private information to myself.




              She smiled at me. "I'm Xanthe! What's your name?" she asked

              I went along. "My name is Kapre. Pleased to meet you, Miss Xanthe."

              "Yes, okay, and you know you are applying for a match with The Love Exchange?"


              I know this is just a test interview, and I don't intend to give myself away too much. Play along. Maybe I'll pretend I'm someone else. Yeah. Play the role of the unknowing and uninformed client. "Yes, I am. But how would this work?"

              She smiled again. It is a rather great comfort. "We will compare your profile with our available profiles and match the most compatible. Stringing your heart to another heart!"

              That.... sounded so lovely. "...That sounds nice. I'm game." Mahaala. What am I doing?

              "Can I have a small history of you?"



              ...............................I don't like this question.

Pretend I'm someone else....

              "Erm.... I was born and raised on Draenor. I never knew who my parents were--my twin sister and I were raised by a Light-serving family, a vindicator patron and anchorite matron. I followed the path of my patron and become a vindicator myself." There. That wasn't so bad. Just another guy. Many like me. Yeah. "During those years on Draenor, I assisted my bretheren by being a translator. It was around then I took Orcish as a second language, and after about two-hundred years. Orcish was just as fluent as Draenic. I have become very close to the orcs, and I viewed them as friends, not trading partners." See? Not so bad. "Then the Bloodlust happened and I lost everything. Then the Crash. And here I am."

              "Is that one word?" Xanthe asked.

Cripes! I said that aloud?!

              "What? No... did I rush that? I mean..." I tried to save myself.

              "I caught 'Hereiam' but I don't know what that word is."

              There's no point to this. Not even pretending I was someone else is working, because the words coming out of my mouth are mine. I waved my hand dismissively. "Just write this: The orcs came, and I ended up having to hide in Zangarmarsh. Years came, the Crash happened, and here I am." I decided to break out of character for a moment. "The History has to be brief anyway. I'll... spare you the details."

Light... what am I doing?

              " Y-yes, okay, I'm sorry, Mr. Kapre," she apologizes. Now I feel bad.

              "No worries. You may move on with the interview. I'm quite sorry if I was hard to understand."

I'm a git.

              "What do you liking to be doing? Your interests and hobbies?"

              Ah! A question I can surely answer comfortably. ".......thinking of an answer besides matchmaking, I'm sorry."

              "Oh, that is okay. Take your time."

              "Hm... I am a jewelcrafter. I picked it up when i was living on Draenor. I also like music, though I am not a musician. I actually enjoy dancing too, slow dancing esp-"

Celes. You were so lovely that night. I remember that dance we were dared to do. I was so happy...

              I'm doing it again!!! "Ahem. I like dancing. Yes."

              "And you are a father."

              "...I am a father, yes. I took in little Aria and raised her as my very own. She is my everything, and the apple of my eye." My little baby Aria. "I love children in general. I wish I can have more. But I cannot be a patron for an orphanage or the like. My life is too busy for that, and, well.... spirit walking won't do a foster home very good."

              So good, so far.

              Xanthe awkwardly pronounces the Orcish word, "Gender Preferences?"

              Oh, if only Jof'waz was here. "Females only. A friend of mine tried to see if I was into men. I'm not at all."

              "Yes, okay, racial preference?"

........................

              "....Draenei only, please."

Do I really?...

              ".....................................actually....I'm not that.... that..... that opposed to anyone, really. Especially considering my past experiences in relationships...."

              "It's okay to stick to your race, Mr. Kapre."

              I'm back to my this planet. Heh. "I'd rather stick to just my race. I would like to have birth children again, though there are no guarantees that she'll stay with me again."

........................What did I just say?!

              Oh, hell. She's lowering her pen now... it seems her eyes are watering. She murmurs, "Mr. Kapre..." No. Please, no.

              "Ignore that last bit. It's not needed. Please do go on...""

              "What you want in a mate?"


              .......................................I could walk out. Right now. Right [i]very much now. I don't have to continue this. See, this is why I don't talk about myself much. Or ever. I end up talking too much. I end up giving more than what is needed. This is not needed. I am not needed. I can't just walk away. But I have to. Why aren't I? What can't my rear end leave this seat? Why are my lips still moving?

              Why am I still here?

              "I...." I can feel my heart sinking. Stopping? It's hurting. That's all I know. "..........I am not asking much. Just..... that she..."

              Taz'garrak interrupted. "'Ey, mon. S'just for fake, ya? Make up somet'in'."

              Fake! Of course! Well, that was kind of what I was doing only several questions ago. ".......Fake? Well...I'm not asking much, really. Simple, kind....Wouldn't mind kissing another girl...."

              .............Why isn't a meteor crashing through my ceiling and burning a hole in my head?

              "What was that last bit, Mr. Kapre? I didn't hear you."

              "Erm.... affectionate. Yes, that's it." Yeah.

              "Yes, okay. Simple, kind, affectionate."

              "What are you not looking for?"

              "......I don't know." I really don't. "....just that she wouldn't leave me."



              ...It's happening again. I see her, deathly quiet, about to cry. I could barely hear her murmur. "Term?"

              I realize I'm too late. This is roughly the end of the interview. I might as well end it honestly as I did before. "Either or. I hold no high expectations. Especially if my longest relationship lasted only five years.

              Xantyhe murmured a soft apology while she wrote. She couldn't even look at me. "Anything else?"

              I'm sorry for putting you through this, Xanthe. "That's... just about it. I got nothing else."

              "Okay, thank you for your time, Mr. Kapre. We will... contact you with a match!"

              The test interview was over. I checked its structure: she filled contents correctly as per the question, but there are many words in Thalassian, not to mention her structure still needed fixing. "Hm... needs an article there... subjects and verbs don't agree here.... you're not that bad, but your vocabulary needs some building...I can't read this." Is this what Thalassian look like? By the light.... this language system. It's honestly beautiful.

              Xanthe pointed to one of the Thalassian words beneath two miserably-spelled Orcish and Common words, "Draenei." Heheh. Everyone struggles with the name of our people.

              Nevertheless, I showed her. "That's understandably hard. Even Common speakers botch our names." I fixed the rest of the application the best I could, though I did nothing for the Thalassian. "Here. I've edited your profile."

              Xanthe pointed to a longer section that is pure Thalassian and blushes, "You were speaking too quickly, it is the equivalent of 'apple of my eye.'"

              "Ah, right. Don't worry about that one." I wonder what's the Thalassian way of saying it. "It's just a practice anyway. I'd rather you throw that away."

              "Yes, it is a practice."




              I should never expose myself like that again. Why did I walk into this hole and not make any efforts to climb out?

              I'm a bigger fool than I thought.

[ImagenAshyun]

              In thanks for the previous attendance, Miss Claremont has invited us to help her with the two month anniversary to the Felfire Club. I must say, for a club with such a suspicious name, it's very open and quite fun. I am more than happy to lend some help. Hm... a speed dating event. Wait. A naked speed dating event?

              ...I am intrigued.




              ...Okay, not entirely naked. The rule was that the participants wear a tabard and a head item, like a hat. That's it. I cannot help but like this idea--sexy and risky while still safe and with some modesty. Perhaps I can catch a few bare hips and some nice legs--wait a minute, most of these women won't have hooves. Phooey. A shame I won't see any bare breasts. I'll have to use my imagination.

              All right. The tables are set up. Candles, braziers, flags and flowers, the works. Xanthe agreed to help... I'm not sure if she'd enjoy an activity like this. She gives me the impression that she's more... innocent. Perhaps a vi-.... wait. Who's that man? Family? It seems she's being discouraged to join after all. I think he's a brother. Ah, well. I must say, she's kind of cute in just a tabard. Well, I shouldn't be having any dirty thoughts or such towards her. It's not professional at all.

Celes was a part of my business too, though...

              ............................OH LOOK. The women outnumber men by one. I guess it's a good thing Xanthe won't be joining... we'd have two more women than men. I suppose I can fill out that missing chair for men and speed-date with some women.

              .....why isn't that orc wearing a tabard? Light damn it.


              Hm.... seating with these women.... 5 minutes a round isn't too bad. The thing is..... these women. They're all human.... and quite honestly the same. Hm. This one... she wears pure gold armor and goes into arena fights regularly? Suuure, she does. This one is just another mage and traveller. Like about six others I know. And this one is.... another traveller. And... this one is another traveller. It seems there is no such thing as a woman who stays in one spot.

Kind of like Vylian....

              ....I am not doing myself a favor, and that naked orc male who won't wear a tabard certainly isn't helping. I have to step out. I'm sorry for leaving you like this, Xanthe. I'll have to take a look at your costume at the costume ball a little later. Have to step out... not even going through five speed dates would get me to forget my past relationships. I'm pathetic that way.

---

              So here is the costume ball. "Sinner's Ball", as it was advertised. I don't expect much to come out of this... I'm even in the same costume I wore at the Love Festival. Creative, I am not. Not that it matters. Drink, chat, go home. Back to the humdrum that is-...


              ....................Oh, hello. What's this?

Spoiler:

              ...........Ah. At last. A draenei. A female at that. I thought I'd never see one here besides myself. It was starting to feel a little lonely here. She's even in a cute costume there. Rabbit ears, but nothing sexualized. Just cute. With that pink gown. Azure cheeks. Bright eyes. A sweet smile. I like that smile. It's very lovely.

              She danced with me. She doesn't know me, but she danced with me. She made me feel happy. This place is crowded, but I feel it's just us. Just her. Just me. And the music. And her smile.

              I like her smile. It's very.....


              .................. Xanthe, that was you?!

              Huh. Potions are distributed randomly, as are the effects. Some changed their appearance. Some changed their states of minds. And apparantly, for a married farmer with a wife and children, their sexual orientations and inhibitions as well. The one Xanthe drank changes her race. To a draenei, of all races. She could have been another elf, a night elf, in fact. Or a human. Or a dwarf. Or a gnome, an orc, a troll, a tauren, undead, in fact! No. The potion changed her to a draenei. An azure, gentle, and fair draenei. With the brightest eyes. With the most wonderful smile.

              It was a beautiful smile. She was a beautiful draenei.





              The ball was over. But I am entranced by the smile. I forgot about the day prior. I forgot the stress prior. Even the women I was with. I could barely think. I could barely sleep. Today, I saw the most beautiful draenei to ever grace Azeroth....

And she wasn't even real.

[ImagenAshyun]

              I remember my rematch with Rhozak.

              It was after my breakup with Celes and after I left The Love Exchange to contemplate on my life and meditate. The Spirits kept walking with me. My hair turned white. I tried to maintain my health by improving the state of my body. Rhozak and I arranged for a wrestling rematch after our first one. How did the first one go?.... Let's see....

              Something about... I remember now. Months before the rematch. Celes. We were having a spat. She accused me of never being there. I was yelling at her that she wasn't exactly being around. She then told me that I wasn't being a man, that I didn't have the balls to take responsibility for my actions. I was so angry... but I didn't want to strike her. So I struck Rhozak instead. In the middle of our spat. I chucked a rock at his head. We had a go at it. And I think Celes and Reigen just watched. Maybe they enjoyed the view.

              It didn't take long for Celes and me to break up. Our life paths were too incompatible. I needed an outlet for my frustration and anguish. I needed that second rematch.

              We met in Ratchet, the same location of our first match. This time, it was more honorable--no arm twisting when the orc was down. Our fight lasted longer than the last... probably by half an hour. We rolled down the hill and fell into the water. Though I had more energy to keep going, I decided to give the fight to Rhozak. This wasn't a fight to see who was the better fighter. This was a fight to release.

              No hard feelings. Only geniality. We had a drink. I caught up with Rhozak and his life. He still had some family issues, but he was working on a wedding with Thragash. Boy, do I miss Thragash. He then asked me what was up with me and Celes. I broke the news to him. Like a good friend, he gave a pat on a back and encouragement to move on. I told him....

              I told him I wasn't ready. Not yet. The breakup was still so hard on me. I wanted us to be forever... but we were not meant to be. I really did want to have someone. Someone to love, someone to love me in return. To bear my pain, whose pain I am willing to bear. To lay with. To bear my children. To have a home with. To have an eternity. I told Rhozak I wasn't ready.

              A casual mention. I told him that I must stay among my people if I am to find another, as opposed to an option of another race like my sister has done. It's for my people. The Legion found us on Draenor, and the corrupted orcs wiped us out. I wanted more than a wife, I wanted a future. But at this rate, neither will happen. That was why I took a break, I told him. I needed time to myself. I may have just wait a century or two before I try courting a female for a wife.

              Rhozak spoke the truth--at the rate I was going, he says, I would never be happy. I know I wouldn't be. But at that point, I didn't care. If I didn't have Aria, or a stubborn sister who'd yell at my grave, I would have just let myself waste away. But my people cannot afford to waste another life.

              Survival first, happiness second. I just have to cope. I had planned that when I am ready, I'd go back to the Love Exchange and make others happy. I'd live off the joy of others, and pretend that I was married with my own family again. Yeah, that's it. My own happiness doesn't matter. I made this business for a reason.

              The time for me to return, however, wasn't then. That was months ago. But Rhozak's words still linger in my mind. Even today.

---

Spoiler:

But other words lingered in my mind too.....

---

              ..............................





              ...No. Focus. I just fell into an involuntary Walk. Maybe I'm far more stressed than I let on. At the rate I was going, I have more than just misery to bear in mind. My body couldn't take the Walk. My mind couldn't take the Walk. My soul couldn't take the Walk. It had to take the Draenei That Never Was for me to retun to Azeroth.

              I need that vacation. I would rather not fall over and die at this very moment. I still have Aria and The Love Exchange. I need another outlet, besides that rematch I had. Something comforting. Something... peaceful.

              I look forward to Moonglade. Perhaps the spirits of nature there can set me at ease.

[ImagenAshyun]

              I. Hate. Elekks.



              One of my foster brothers was an Elekk handler. Vannte. Mahaala flirted with him, and even went on a few hunts with him. He didn't like her adventurous spirit... he was a far simpler fellow. But they nevertheless stayed friends. We nevertheless stayed friends.

              He loved Elekks. He tamed and bred a few, very proudly. For our 200th birthday, he gave me and Diwaata our own Elekks, born of different parents. She got a male; he was named Makulit. I got a female; she was named Mabayang. The Elekks were already grown and trained, but Vaante didn't count on... ahem, mating season coming up. Diwaata and I tried our Elekks in front of our friends on our birthday. The saddles were quite comfortable, and riding around was fun enough. Then Makulit and Mayabang got close. Very close. Very very close.

              Our friends thought it was the most hilarious incident with Elekks ever to occur among Vannte's herd. To me and Diwaata, it was the most humiliating. We never spoke of that incident again, and if anyone in Liwa'nag ever did, we'd kick their teeth in.

The thing is, there is no one left of Liwa'nag except us and Mahen'tosh.....

---

              Moonglade. We anticipated a lengthy sail. For that reason, we had to gather resources, though we do not intend our trip there to be a long one. Tibalan arranged for his druid sister, Sisiga, to lend us her home there while we visited. Kantado went out to see if we could meet his father. I'm rather excited, actually. I have not ever met Kantado's family before, and the last time I met with Tibalan's was- ........ Celes' rescue when she crashed into Northrend.


              ....I have to stop doing that.



              Xanthe and I went to have lunch at Ratchet. Orvisha, a new friend, came to join us. Then, within the tavern, a goblin called out. An auction was taking place there, and soon, we were crowded in. Unfortunately, I had Aria with me too, and she was becoming irritable with the noise. I then stepped out to take her to Mahen'tosh, who cared for her in the Love Boat. However, my stay there took longer than anticipated. When I arrived, Mahen'tosh had slipped and fallen down the steps. If Mahen'tosh was fifty years younger, this is probably nothing to panic about too much. But Mahen'tosh wasn't fifty years young. I brought him back upstairs to the top deck, then asked the Water Spirits to heal his injury before I set up a healing Water Totem by his side. As he was recovering..... he went off to reminisce. Reminisce about when he was a shaman. When he was the one summoning the totems. When he was healing me with elemental magic instead. Back before.....the Bloodlust.

              ...The topic grew dim. I focused on the happy and the now. Mahen recovered, and I asked him to watch after Aria for me. He happily complied. I trust Mahen'tosh with Aria, as Aria is already familiar with him, and Mahen was a good father to his own children and Saya before the Bloodlust.

              However, by the time I returned to the tavern, the auction was over. Xanthe and Orvisha were casually talking with some people left over when I joined them. That was when Xanthe presented her own win from the auction... which was my gift.


              Huh. The box moves.

              I opened it. Reaching out to me was the littlest Elekk I have ever seen since I left The Exodar last year. It was very, very young, perhaps only a few months. Not even old enough to leave its mother. Well, it was won in an auction hosted by a goblin... for all I know, it was probably poached. I wonder what happened to its mother. I wonder what....

              ....Awwww, it's wrapping its trunk around my arm. It likes me already.

But I hate Elekks...

              Well... Xanthe wouldn't have known. It was a gift. A lovely gift, in fact. The Elekk, probably in desperate need of a mother, clung onto me. Huh. I should try to remember how Vannte fed babies who lost their mother. Ah, a substitute. I can order some from the Exodar and have it sent to me as soon as possible. Right now, I can try giving it the same formula milk I give Aria. Heh... maybe she'll like it. Yeah. It's cute. It's affectionate. Okay. I'll keep it.

              I don't get gifts often anyway. Not even from Vylian or Celes. Well, I have that chopper, but I had to request it. It wasn't given to me freely.

....Why am I comparing Xanthe to Vylian and Celes?

              The party we had going became friendlier. Nikodemos, Toodlem, and Faelara were our guests of honor. A little later, Cristovao and Diwaata came and joined us, even bringing with them Melodia (though Aria was asleep at this point, so they couldn't play). We chatted, we talked. I gave them stew to eat. Xanthe helped serve. She got quiet after a while... I'm not sure why. We then had some guests stay over for the night. I cleaned up, then readied myself to bed.

              Aria woke up. She wanted "da da" ("bottle"). Well, admittedly, I didn't prepare hers before she fell asleep today, and it's an unchangeable routine until she is ready to be weaned entirely. I might as well fix that up now.

              Then she saw it... the little baby elekk. she squealed with absolute delight. Heh. The Elekk took notice of my little sunshine and approached her with no fear. It wrapped its trunk around her, and she giggled. It made me smile.

              "Look, Aria. We have a new pet. Xanthe gave him to us." I assumed it was a he.

              "Santy!" my little angel chirped. "Santy Santy Santy!" I can truly tell Aria was fond of Xanthe. The two often played, and she has upgraded calling her "Fee'" (for "Feet", because she was so drawn to her bare flat feet) to simply "Santy". My little girl dance around in circles around the Elekk. Surely, he will be a mainstay.

              "What shall we name him, baby?" I asked her.

              Aria tilts her head. "Santy?"

              "No, no. Xanthe has a name already. I mean the Elekk."

              "Ekki's Santy!"

              "Noo!" I slumped to my seat and laughed. "We can't name the Elekk 'Xanthe'. That would be silly!" I thought about the little Elekk, who was already becoming close to my daughter. I reached for his bulbous head and gave him a tender pat. "How about just 'Ekki'? Would that be okay, Aria?"

              "Ekki Ekki?"

              "It's an Elekk. Let's name him 'Ekki'."

              "Ekki, yis! Wan' Ekki!" I watched as little Aria wrapped her arms around Ekki's trunk and squeezed tightly. The little pachyderm trumpeted, and Aria giggled nonstop. I couldn't stop smiling at all. I thought I hate Elekks. Not this one.

              I feel like I just attained another child.

              Thank you, Xanthe. Thank you. You've made me happy, you've made Aria happy. I never thought I'd ever receive a gift like this from a friend ever again.




              Moonglade. We finally attained the supplies we needed to travel. The murloc crew returned, and we made our way. Due to the terrain, we had to anchor far away and use longboats to get to shore. Kantado and Tibalan acted as our guides, as they were familiar with the way there. Aria remained strapped to me, and Ekki stayed close. Xanthe also stayed close, as to not stray from our path.

              Almost there.... almost there. I never thought I'd dream of what is to happen.

She Who Never Was...