12-16-2009, 10:15 AM
... carry on, carry on...
Hello, CotH. Already, you can probably tell by the half-out of place Queen lyric as the thread title and what forum this is in what's going to be posted here. To start things off, I'd like to just throw it out there that I'm not following the "nooooo theoretical restart be stealin ma buckit/tradeskills" crowd, and that this actually has very, very little to do with what's been happening on CotH lately, though I suppose it hasn't been helping me all that much.
In a manner most worrying and unhealthy, I've been bouncing in and out of depression for a variety of reasons (namely my future and the variety of factors currently affecting it - y'know, typical teenage angst) since about July, just before I came back to CotH after slipping away for about a year when I was a random new guy who didn't devote himself to the server in the slightest. I've changed a lot since then, and this time around, it almost seems as though I've done the exact opposite. I feel like I've invested far too much of myself to the server (which may sound a bit odd, seeing how little I've accomplished, but still), and the internet as a whole. I've made the mistake of keeping my worries and concerns bottled up from my friends and family, for the most part, which was a massive mistake I intend to learn from.
I guess I've just sort of been pumping a lot of my emotions into a keyboard - including my frustrations, funnily enough. On that note, I'd like to expressly apologise to anyone I've annoyed or offended during my stint here. I think I may have been too wrapped up in what's going on in my own head a lot of the time to consider what could be going through other people's, so, to everyone - I'm sorry.
Really, though, I'm sure a lot of you who know me find that something doesn't add up when you look at the times I'm online at on weekdays and then look at my location. That's another thing that's unhealthy, and something I can seriously see being detrimental to my future. So yeah.
Still, I think CotH really has been helping me stay... ah, stable, for the past four months or so. In particular (to be as annoyingly cryptic as possible), there's been this - we'll call it a crutch - propping me upright. I think, primarily through my own inadverted machinations, that I've recently sort of knocked this crutch out of the picture, and I've kinda collapsed accordingly. That's all I'm really comfortable with saying, but I feel it's a vague yet suitable analogy. Suffice to say, I feel like just curling up and dying right about now.
I need to deal with this, guys, though I really have no idea where to start. In truth, I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with this, at all. I might be pulling the whole absence thing out of my arse, and I honestly could be back here at 18:15 GMT, Thursday 17th December, for all you or I know. I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but I think I can confirm that I've lost my motivation to log in and hustle RP every day, at the very least. I think of it like a slowly descending downwards spiral, and recent events - no, not the ones you'd think - have knocked me right down to the bottom, although I really wouldn't attribute it to any one incident.
As for where the hell my characters are at during this disappearance, we'll see. At the moment, I'm tempted to write Jared off as having went MIA during a solo patrol into the Western Plaguelands, nearing Andorhal. Miles hasn't returned from one of his ambiguous "business trips", and Daranar's loyalist arse hasn't been seen since the fall of Rommath's Silvermoon. Sheckley's been neither seen nor heard since last Sunday's Gnomeregan event and Hala'ki is still with the Echoes until further notice. That's something I can more or less confirm - I will be attending Sunday's final push for the Isles, or at least I'll put my best effort in depending on how, uh, functional I'm feeling. I really want to wrap Hal's mini-plot up and to participate in the culmination of an incredibly enjoyable storyline, and I want to see everyone's work and/or heaps of fun through to the end, at least.
To everyone I've spoken to, roleplayed with or otherwise interacted with in the slightest here on CotH - thank you. Everyone of you has helped make the last few months so much more enjoyable and, well, bearable for me, and consequently, I love you all.
I don't feel like naming names, but I suppose, generalisations aside, the people I'm talking about can figure out who they are.
I feel I owe a lot to the server as a whole, so much more than I'll ever be able to pay back. However, I hope that this will suffice:
/target CotH
/hug
... /cuddle
At worst, this is a farewell. At best, this is me being a lil' b***h and I'll be crawling back soon enough. :P While my actual activity is liable to grind to a halt, I think I'm prone to lurk the boards. Thanks for reading through that unnecessarily long post. I kinda got carried away there, as y'do.
In whatever case, take it easy, you all - that's certainly what I'll be trying to do. <3
Nothing really matters...
o7
Hello, CotH. Already, you can probably tell by the half-out of place Queen lyric as the thread title and what forum this is in what's going to be posted here. To start things off, I'd like to just throw it out there that I'm not following the "nooooo theoretical restart be stealin ma buckit/tradeskills" crowd, and that this actually has very, very little to do with what's been happening on CotH lately, though I suppose it hasn't been helping me all that much.
In a manner most worrying and unhealthy, I've been bouncing in and out of depression for a variety of reasons (namely my future and the variety of factors currently affecting it - y'know, typical teenage angst) since about July, just before I came back to CotH after slipping away for about a year when I was a random new guy who didn't devote himself to the server in the slightest. I've changed a lot since then, and this time around, it almost seems as though I've done the exact opposite. I feel like I've invested far too much of myself to the server (which may sound a bit odd, seeing how little I've accomplished, but still), and the internet as a whole. I've made the mistake of keeping my worries and concerns bottled up from my friends and family, for the most part, which was a massive mistake I intend to learn from.
I guess I've just sort of been pumping a lot of my emotions into a keyboard - including my frustrations, funnily enough. On that note, I'd like to expressly apologise to anyone I've annoyed or offended during my stint here. I think I may have been too wrapped up in what's going on in my own head a lot of the time to consider what could be going through other people's, so, to everyone - I'm sorry.
Really, though, I'm sure a lot of you who know me find that something doesn't add up when you look at the times I'm online at on weekdays and then look at my location. That's another thing that's unhealthy, and something I can seriously see being detrimental to my future. So yeah.
Still, I think CotH really has been helping me stay... ah, stable, for the past four months or so. In particular (to be as annoyingly cryptic as possible), there's been this - we'll call it a crutch - propping me upright. I think, primarily through my own inadverted machinations, that I've recently sort of knocked this crutch out of the picture, and I've kinda collapsed accordingly. That's all I'm really comfortable with saying, but I feel it's a vague yet suitable analogy. Suffice to say, I feel like just curling up and dying right about now.
I need to deal with this, guys, though I really have no idea where to start. In truth, I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with this, at all. I might be pulling the whole absence thing out of my arse, and I honestly could be back here at 18:15 GMT, Thursday 17th December, for all you or I know. I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but I think I can confirm that I've lost my motivation to log in and hustle RP every day, at the very least. I think of it like a slowly descending downwards spiral, and recent events - no, not the ones you'd think - have knocked me right down to the bottom, although I really wouldn't attribute it to any one incident.
As for where the hell my characters are at during this disappearance, we'll see. At the moment, I'm tempted to write Jared off as having went MIA during a solo patrol into the Western Plaguelands, nearing Andorhal. Miles hasn't returned from one of his ambiguous "business trips", and Daranar's loyalist arse hasn't been seen since the fall of Rommath's Silvermoon. Sheckley's been neither seen nor heard since last Sunday's Gnomeregan event and Hala'ki is still with the Echoes until further notice. That's something I can more or less confirm - I will be attending Sunday's final push for the Isles, or at least I'll put my best effort in depending on how, uh, functional I'm feeling. I really want to wrap Hal's mini-plot up and to participate in the culmination of an incredibly enjoyable storyline, and I want to see everyone's work and/or heaps of fun through to the end, at least.
To everyone I've spoken to, roleplayed with or otherwise interacted with in the slightest here on CotH - thank you. Everyone of you has helped make the last few months so much more enjoyable and, well, bearable for me, and consequently, I love you all.
I don't feel like naming names, but I suppose, generalisations aside, the people I'm talking about can figure out who they are.I feel I owe a lot to the server as a whole, so much more than I'll ever be able to pay back. However, I hope that this will suffice:
/target CotH
/hug
... /cuddle
At worst, this is a farewell. At best, this is me being a lil' b***h and I'll be crawling back soon enough. :P While my actual activity is liable to grind to a halt, I think I'm prone to lurk the boards. Thanks for reading through that unnecessarily long post. I kinda got carried away there, as y'do.
In whatever case, take it easy, you all - that's certainly what I'll be trying to do. <3
Nothing really matters...
o7
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