10-27-2010, 01:01 PM (This post was last modified: 05-27-2011, 07:41 PM by Reigen.)
This page is written in normal black ink, but the page is littered with salty water drops, making the ink run in several spots.
Spoiler:
So much has happened.
It has been so long, my dear book, since I have written in you. Perhaps you thought me dead? Silly thought of mine, as books cannot feel, but yet, they had wisdom in them. So many things.
How can I start?
I have met many interesting people over the past month or so, perhaps a little less. I had intended to write in her about the simple joy I felt being with Dael'ar, and how he had at last said he loved me. How I would dearly love to remember those feelings and to be able to write about them. I was so happy at that moment, so in love.
Now all I know is agony.
Dael'ar has gone missing. It has been weeks and I fear the worst, but it will never stop me from looking for him…even if I find his body, he can be brought back! My connection with him is too strong. Perhaps I flirt with other men, but will I ever love them? No…Dael'ar is the only one who holds my heart and soul.
I never want them back.
What else has been happening oh…let me think! So many people have died due to me the past few weeks as well. A girl who split open her chest due to my words. She can never come back, suicide and all. Another tried to ambush me in the outlands…I turned him into a frozen statue. An Orc took a trip to the forest below Dalaran from a nice toss from the sewers. And lastly, some Forsaken was ripped apart outside of Thunder Bluff. He was the stupidest of them all.
I mean REALLY?
I joined The Light of Nova and left not long after, considering the leader started to send assassins after me. The last one told me that. Sure, I'm thankful and all he got me this nice new arm to replace the one that was hacked off, so I won't try to kill him. But I make no promises to anyone he sends after me.
And now,
I have suffered a horrible attack, one that has scarred me. I won't go into detail, just know it was horrible. My body is scarred from this as well, this mark Shadovarn burnt into three areas of my body. I am worried but, I will not let this one thing get to me and completely destroy me until I know for sure.
This was a simple summery, I'm sure I've left much out. I will go into more detail next time, I apologize to any reader who may find this after I have passed.
This takes up not one, but two pages of her journal. Random silly doodles of each creature in question is added in order to further her point.
Spoiler:
Another day in this wretched camp that Kitten has dragged us too. It's so dull here, so very dull. They are all getting around, planning on where to go next after my attack. It is still…painful to think about it, so I'll spear you the details for now. Don't worry, my dears, you will know soon enough.
Bah, loading up on their Hawkstriders.
Those are such useless mounts, bird-brained and so easy to scare. It doesn't take much for one to just wonder off and never come back. What were our ancestors' thinking, using such –useless- creatures? I'm glad I was never around to get one, living in the wilds and all. I doubt one could have survived that.
Look at all the other mounts.
First of all, the undead horses of the Forsaken. They cannot feel pain, and they do not frighten like normal ones, not to mention the horns make good for spearing people. They are also frightening to look at. I mean, really, if you saw a group of those creatures running at you, you'd be terrified for a moment. A moment is all it takes for the riders to kill you, after all.
The raptors of the Trolls for my next point. Come on people, RAPTORS. They can and will eat you if you get near them and they do not like you. One chomp from them is enough to kill. The raptors also have nasty claws. If those dug into you, you'd be in major pain. They as well are also rather scary, and I know I'd turn tail and run if I saw one coming at me.
The Worgs of the Orcs, amazing beasts that they are. Not only can they run fast, but the gods help you if you get caught by one. They jaws of a Worg can break bones and rip of limbs. The claws can shred your body into pieces without even trying. You don't even need to see one to be afraid, you just need to hear it's howl. That is enough to put the terror in your heart.
How about the Kodos, the large brutes? For one, some of them have horns, easy again to run someone though. The other obvious part? Their feet could –trample- you to death. All it needs to do is rear up and come down and you are nothing but mush under it's feet. It's hide is strong and rather hard to pierce as well, making it good in battle as it can last.
Even the Alliance has us beat.
The space goats have those giant thinks…elekks…I think they are called. They can do the same thing a Kodo can, stomp you to death with it's giant feet. It's tusks can also make a good spear, as well as it's tough hide. If one of these came running down at you, you would get out of the way fast.
Those…Ram things the Dwarves ride can also be rather dangerous. Sure,they may not look like much, but I bet getting rammed in the chest by one of those could shatter your bones. The large ones I've seen have the horns pointed out, yet again providing them with a built in weapon. The hooves also look like they can hurt, and I've hear they're great at climbing.
Even the silly Kaldorei are doing something right, with those sabers. Same reasoning as the Worg, the teeth and claws, but minus the howling and add in…the sound those things make. They also are rather stealthy, able to maneuver without making much sound. They seem good if a surprise attack is what is wanted.
I've only seen a Gnome thingy in passing. It wasn't alive, and it seemed very metal. Not like it can run away in fear…if it doesn't think for its self. I also don't think metal would get hit with much damage…so it wouldn't fall as easy as a living mount. They do however, creep me out.
Horses are like the Hawkstriders of the Alliance. But even they can slam their hooves into someone's face and break a few skulls. You're more likely going to fear a horse over a bird any day of the week.
What's a Hawkstrider going to do? Peck you to death?
I'd take my Worg over one of those birds any day. Sure, he may not be the cleanest of creatures…or the best smelling. When it comes down to it, I can rely on him to come when called, and to get me where I need to go without distractions. I don't need to worry about a sound scaring him and making him run off. Amelia and Joash's Hawkstriders spook at the smallest of sounds…it's rather sad.
Not to mention…everything else is too tall for me to get on with ease.
This page is stained with teardrops. The writing is oddly neat and clean, though the odd, red, ink runs where the water stains are.
Spoiler:
You win.
That's right world…you win. You've broken me beyond repair. I sit her in this cabin full of empty promises and good memories, memories of love and joy, of a time when I could rest easy in the arms of my love, my Dael'ar. Those were the best times of my life; nothing could have taken that feeling from me. Oh…how it felt to be in love.
All memories now.
Deal'ar went missing a while ago. I was broken over it…but in the back of my mind I was sure he was going to return. He always returned to me when I needed him the most. When I was in danger…there he was…riding in on his horse, or his bone chicken. He'd save me…and take me away from all my pain.
But he didn't save me this time.
I was attacked by Shadovarn. Anyone who knows about this should know what that means. And now I even carry his abomination inside of me. I wish to get ride of it but Arianna will not allow me to. Damn that woman, making me live with these bad memories. I was so sure…even near the end of that attack that Dael'ar would come. He would save me and kill Shadovarn. All would be well then, I'd be safe in his arms.
He never came.
The love I felt for him was beyond normal. I was spellbound by him. Ever moment I spent with Dael'ar lifted my spirits, and my heart was ready to burst with the feelings he gave me. His kiss was enough to make my mind blur, and just a hand on my shoulder let me know all would be well. It was like nothing had ever felt before, like nothing I will ever feel again.
He was my knight in bloodstained armor.
I worried for him, yes. Some even told me he was most likely dead but I refused to believe them. Dael'ar was too strong to be defeated. He was my hope in the world…the only thing I had to keep be strong, to keep me going when all these bad things kept happening. He would make it all better, hold me close and allow me to rest.
My hope is gone, my feelings numb.
He is dead. He will not come back to save me. I've lost everything. When the time comes his killer and I shall fight. I know I shall die for I cannot stand up to this man. At least I will be put to rest by Dael'ar's side…and we can both be together at last with no one to bother us. I will be happy again then, yet again to be in the arms of my lover in the abyss. I've a few things to do before then though.
These pages are written in a blue ink and carefully. Towards the end the pages are stained with wet drops.
Spoiler:
I live in a lie.
And what a lie I have built for myself, it amazes me sometimes what I woman such as myself is able to do. I am small, I am known wide to be a traitor and yet here we are, in the same situation as before. Who to choose, who will it hurt less to be abandoned by, I suppose.
It's a delusion.
I have surrounded myself with attention. I have at my side death knights, people who follow me, who if I decided to issue orders, would obey me. But could I betray their trust like this? I've tried to convince myself that in the end, they will all love me…and that I will never be alone again. I've told myself time and time again there is nothing I could do to make them leave me…but again it is a lie.
And reality is crushing.
Marianna…and those she works with. I have hoped for so long she would honestly think of me as a friend, that perhaps I could join with the legion and be part of a beautiful new world. But I have seen what the demons do. A druid in Nagrand showed me how they corrupted the land, stole it's beauty away. Then he showed me afterwards an amazing sight, a giant Diamond sacred to the Orcs and Draenei.
Is that what I want?
And then there is Krilari, such a sweet, sweet man. I have told him of my sins, of the things that chase people away from me and cause others to seek my death. And what is it that he does? Nothing…he feels I can be redeemed. Is this foolishness or…is there really something planned for me? If only it were so easy to believe he really cared, and that I was just not some pity case. I wonder why he even bothers with me…if he feels…
My choices are many.
I'm engaged but…lately I feel as if we are too different of people, Mack and I. I fear I live a life he…would not support. Already he has been harmed for my foolishness. Such fears I have…such truths. I seek power, but I seek love. What do I choose? If Mack knew these things about me…if he knew what I –still- do…
He should have chosen Arianna…
Perhaps there is still time. Am I selfish or selfless? I do this for my own good as well as his. In the end, whom will I be with? Will it be a beautiful world…or power beyond most mortal's dreams? In the end…whom will it hurt the most to be abandoned by, for it will happen…it always happens.
To Marianna I am just a pawn…I doubt I will miss her. But…if Krilari were to shove me aside after all the hopes he has given me about myself? Will I miss the soft tone he takes with me, when I feel hopeless? Will I miss the scents of Eversong after they are destroyed, reminded by my many walks around the area? What is the cost of power? A tainted soul that will no longer care, I would not miss them much, nor would it pain me if Marianna left my company.
I don't think I could handle another rejection.
Light hear me, I have strayed away from your path. Would you still embrace me as you do with the others? Or would your touch burn me and drive me away into the darkness? I'm so lost, I'm afraid of what I do…who I am with. Light…hear me…please help me.
These pages are stained in clear blood, making some parts harder to see than others, but if one is careful, they could make out all the words.
[Warning. Post may be disturbing. You are warned.]
Spoiler:
Temptation...
It is a strong thing, temptation. The forbidding feeling it gives us, and the rush we feel when we do such a deed. Today a Sin'dorei came to me...seeking me to teach her to avoid the temptations of fel, as she learned of how I did so. I will help her best I can, even though at the end of her training, I will be one at the end of her blade. Such is the price I pay, and will pay, for my sins.
Like to touch him.
That is a sin all it's own, to even gaze upon him. He may deny it, but he is pure and I am a tainted wretch upon this world, a stain which should be erased. But at the time time, this presence comforts me, I feel hope around him, that perhaps I can change. So I did what I must never do again.
I touched him.
Then my true nature took over me. My claws were on his face, and all I could think of doing is digging them deep into his flesh until he cried for mercy. I wanted to taste his blood...to see him bleed knowing that it was my hand that marred such a pretty pure face. Oh...how I wanted to see what was inside of him, compare it to others and figure out how he can be so hopeful...
So I ran.
I left as quickly as I could, a new blade at my side, a wondrous blade that it is. I went deep into the forests of Eversong to where I was sure no one could hear me...where no one could see me. The memories rushed me, tormenting me. I heard their screams, saw their blood on my hands...all the people who I have ever hurt. I screamed myself, I cried out apologizes...and then...I did the only thing I could to stop the memories.
The first cut is the hardest.
The feeling of a claw piercing your skin is like no other. The sight of the beautiful red crimson dripping down your arm is an awe. Each cut...each drip onto the ground. The screams died out...until at last they went silent, the blood on my hands were washed away with my own...perhaps they felt my own blood was a good enough offering. Oh...the feeling of pain...the agony from my body...it ended the memories.
In a broken tower in Netherstorm there sits a new journal. It's caked over with blood and the pages are aged. If by chance you make it past the towers new guardian, her insane laughter echoing up the tower, one could begin to read the pages of the now broken woman.
Her old journal lies beside it, so one could read of her decent to madness. Looking at her now, one could decide it would be a mercy to kill her. She's too far gone to be saved now.
At the time this entry was written, the journal could be found next to one that looks almost identical.
Spoiler:
Rage.
A raw emotion it is, pure, indescribable, hatred. It is such a powerful emotion that it taints your vision red and clouds your mind of normal judgment. Such is the emotion that overtook me, broke my mind for those few days. Blood is what my mind craved, to make others feel as I did. I feared I was lost forever in my mind.
But there was light.
The comfort came to me suddenly, that of a crusader with a big heart and a faith in people I've not seen in a long time. He came to me, found me in the Netherstorm and calmed my mind. I was able to see clear. He had not hurt me like the Fel-sworn did, that wrenched monster that stole my eye!
I'd rather an eye than my heart.
Blast these foolish emotions! They are childish, silly and distracting. I should be focusing on getting more for the tower, finding more of the lost and start carving a place for us in this world! Yet I feel like a love-struck child, the princess cursed to live a life in a tower until her knight and shining armor comes and awakes her with a kiss, then to run off and get married after the dragon is slain.
This is not a love story.
I'm not some innocent princess. I am the dragon, I am the witch and I am the one who needs to be saved. Part of me has to die in order to be what another wants me to be. Shall I lose the witch to be a princess or shall I slaughter the innocence to make a mark?
I like to kill.
That's simple. I mean really, the sight of blood dripping down the corpse of one who dared to threaten me is a sight like no other. The thrill of the hunt is deep in my veins. The screams of terror and look of horror and I show them their still beating heart before I crush it before their very eyes! Perhaps an audience watching as I slaught---
No.
Dear light no…
Krilari. Please. I know you might read this again; in fact, I might put it near yours on purpose. Help me, I feel my mind slipping still, I hear whispers in my head…calling to me, calling me to the slaughter like a moth to a flame. It's so hard to resist the whispers…they soothe me like a mother does a child.
The journal seems to have a habit to be near the one like it, as if constantly inviting the owner of the other to come read.
Spoiler:
Oh…
If I could sing to the skies my joy, I would.
Things have been going absolutely wonderful. My time spent with Krilari have been nothing been pleasant, nothing but pure comfort and joy. I feel safe in his arms, laying down with him at night to sleep in a way I've not in a long way. He makes such a wonderful pillow as well, my darling crusader.
He chases the nightmares away.
Ah those dreadful nightmares, the ones which used to keep me away at night, the ones that used to make me tremble in fear at the thought of closing my eyes for more than a simple moment. I had resorted to drugging myself in order to get the sleep I needed in order to function throughout the days. All the bad images are chased away by the image of his face, or the sound of his voice, his breathing.
Ah, love, you make or break a person.
I fear he will cause me arm again, that someone new will cross his sights and earn his affections. Have I set myself up to be broken again? Yes…yes I have. But if it does happen and my mind fully breaks to beyond repair, I will cherish these moments. If I even remember them. Perhaps these memories will be able to keep me sane. Or perhaps I would just slit my own throat and allow my blood to spill to the ground, allowing him to know how much I was h-
He'd never do that.
Forgive me; my mind wanders to unpleasant thoughts. My darling crusader is too kind for that. He would make sure I was able to go on before he did such a thing…he'd never let the insanity overtake me again. He will forever keep my fears away from me; he will never allow me to experience such pain again. But…
Can he save me from a living threat?
Shadovarn lives again. That bastard who caused me such pain…such physical and mental agony lives yet again. I am afraid, so very afraid. What if he returns to harm me after I destroyed his heir? What if he tries to finish what he started? If that happened to me again…I couldn't go on living.
I should tell them…
Krilari and Al'thorai won't allow him to get to me. I will just need stay out of goblin towns, most of all Ratchet. I will remain close to one of the two, so that I can never be caught alone. I might start carrying a dagger within a boot or perhaps strapped to the side of my leg, just in case I am, somehow, without a guard to protect me. I doubt I'll ever be caught without on though.
It's the name I've gone by for so long, Reigen Talah'malanore. It was a name given to me by a man whom I was going to marry before his betrayal of me, and my slaughtering of him. It is a name which has haunted me and tormented me with it's meaning and it's bad tidings.
Death Strider.
I have longed to be rid of that past, to be able to look past it. I have longed to be ride of this horrible name and to be something new. Perhaps it would help me figure out who I am. Each time I have felt close to being free…the curse of the name strikes again and I am left lost and alone. It's as if the man cursed me to never feel happiness.
Will it be different this time?
Light be, I hope it's so. It would be wonderful to live a normal life away from this foolishness that has followed me around. I dream of a nice house with a big yard filled with flowers. I close my eyes and imagine the sounds, sights and smell of a busy kitchen, a working forge. I hear the sounds of children playing, dogs barking, cats mewing and no more bloody assassins. I think of being able to be a woman and not a warrior.
Dawnsend.
Krilari and I are to be married. It was a bit of a rash decision, but I don't regret it one bit. Will it come as a surprise to my companions and family? Oh fel yes it will, someone is going to flip a table in surprise. Will Kitten be happy at all? No, but I can easily pass it off as a gain on my part. If he hates it that much…he'll have to understand it's what I want. I still have a wish after all.
Reigen Dawnsend.
It has a wonderful ring to it, that name does. It speaks of a normal woman who just wants to live out her life like a normal person. My life will at last be as I want it. People are going to laugh at me, but in the future, at the end of the day, I want to be nothing. I want to be the person everyone passes by with no importance, yet mean the world to one or two people. I want this time to be different, I crave what others find boring.
He means the world to me.
I've said it before, but…he's different. He sees a part of me that I can't see in myself. He sees something worth saving while I only see a damned soul. And he's saved me so far. The beckoning insanity has started to leave me, and it's thanks to his hugs, kisses. It's his words…his faith in me which drives me. I feel so cold unless I'm in his arms. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I have a feeling he'll fix it.
Oh dear, forgive me.
I rant about him all too often don't I? What happened to my violent nature, my death threats and recollections of assassination attempts? Gone are my plots of vengeance and my hatred of everything. What has happened to me? Where is Reigen Talah'malnaore, the sorrowful woman who couldn't get a break? I am not Reigen Talah'malanore, I am Reigen Sunfire, soon to be Reigen Dawnsend.
These pages are scribbled all over, nothing is in line. The only sense can be make is the pattern of the scribbles. The pages are stained with water drops and blood. If one was smart enough to put the senseless scribbling together, they'd fine it read like so:
Spoiler:
I need to write.
Red, crimson blood, dripping down the walls onto the floor, seeping into the ground.
Screams, terror, agony.
Pleas of mercy, begs to be spared.
Visions of loved ones.
The feeling of a blade piercing the skin, the feel of your life draining out onto the ground below.
The mask I wear, dropped, destroyed, shattered.
Lies.
Hatred.
Fears.
They watch me, the eyes bore into the back of my skull. They see my every move.
Watching.
Waiting.
Judging.
The visions behind my closed eyes at night.
Reaching.
Calling.
SCREAMING.
Wake up in a terror, alone. The darkness is my only company.
Blinding.
Constricting.
Suffocating.
His touch against me skin, the warmth I miss in life.
Soothing.
Calming.
Comforting.
The need to spill his blood, to watch him bleed from the wounds I cause. The paling of his beautiful skin, the dulling of his wondrous eyes as the life drains from his body. He'd be unable to speak as I slit his throat open, just gurgling as he drowns on his own blood. I'd do it in his sleep...he wouldn't feel a thing.
Love.
I'd do it for love, to protect him.
He'd be happy, Kitten.
Embracing the violence, my murderous wants.
Watch his life drain.
What am I? Who am I?
Hallow.
Faceless.
A beautifully woven lie of what others want to see.
Moving shadows in the corner, it's my own, watching myself, judging my own actions, waiting to come out and play and destroy more lives.
Wake up.
The darkness descends on me, the cold freezes me.
Wake up.
I don't exist here, not without you to hold me, to touch me and to make me feel warm.
Wake up.
Please for the love of the light. The shadows are coming for me.
He doesn't sleep, eat, breath nor blink. He just stands there across the room and watches me. A walking corpse, the concept has never bothered me really, not like it's his fault he's like this. He didn't ask to watch his family die and fail to defend them. I'm sure as fel he would have rather stayed dead with them. Then again, he says it was just blackness, and that he wouldn't want to go back. None of tat stuff bothers me at all though, I don't judge!
It's the emotions.
Or, shall I say, lack of emotions. That is what weirds me out about him. He feels -nothing- at all and...well...my mind can't comprehend that. Sure, ever since my death my emotions have been a bit dull, but to not feel them at all...I guess that's why he doesn't miss his family, he doesn't feel sorrow.
But he says he cares.
Ever since I met him, he's been at my side and protecting me. He's never lied to me at all, nor has he had any reason to. I know that if I ask him a question, he'll give me the most honest answer he knows, same with opinions. He gives me the truth regardless of if the answer is something I like or not. The trust I have for him is beat by no other, not even Krilari. I love him in an odd way, perhaps because I know no matter what, he'll be there, and he'll keep me safe.
But he's been off lately.
I don't know what's wrong with him but...I saw him get angry. At first I thought it was no big deal, anger is a hard emotion to control and nothing more would come from it. A few days ago he looked...surprised. I thought I was seeing things, and he suggested that I was as well, so yet again I shrugged it off. I stopped shrugging it off at his joke attempts. They're bad jokes, sure, and I don't get them because I'm used to him being so serious all the time. And then when I got him that card, fel, he even suggested the name Squeak for my Kitten. It's confusing me a great deal because...he can't feel emotions.
Right?
And then he got me this stuffed bear. It's the best non-living gift I've ever gotten. Squeak takes a little bit of a priority over it, but seems how she tends to cuddle with the bear, it's a packaged deal. I love the bear, Mittens. I was so surprised when I got it...and even more surprised it was Al'thorai. He doesn't do things like that...but there he went proving me wrong.
It frightens me.
What if he starts to lie to me because now it seems he can? I trust him so much that I'd believe any word that came out of his mouth. He has that power over me. I mean look at me, I allowed him to carve the symbol that was on his tongue onto my forehead, I allow him to call me his pet and claim ownership of me. Change scares me sometimes when I don't know what's going on, and in this matter I don't know anything at all.
I want to bring it up with him...
But I fear I will just be shrugged off and told that I'm imagining things again. I wonder if he notices what he's doing different from when we first met. When we first met, he'd pick me up and throw me around regardless of my feelings of my physical safety. Now when he moves me, he holds me with the tenderness of a mother to a child, and I feel completely safe.
The end of the entry contains water stains, making the ink there a bit runny, but readable.
Spoiler:
Life is a game. And I play it well.
Convince the demon I am on his side. I doubt that he truly thinks I am, but an illusion is better than nothing. I may be able to gain what I need from him quickly and then leave him to the slaughterhouse. But then again...I can continue to gain from Mistal. There is much I can gain from allying myself with this demon for good. I can forsake the light and once again return to my former state of greed and power. But that wouldn't leave me in a very happy position. As tempting as it is...
I will be ruled by none.
Let these fools around me think that they have changed me for the better of for the worse. It just makes my job easier when they feel that I am who they want me to be. Back I am to the game of manipulation, where I am the king and now I must set up my pawns. Who shall be the queen on this board though? Krilari most likely, as he would tare down any who dared to harm me. He moves freely across the board. The rooks...bishops...and my knights would be my lost. While they defend me just as well...they are limited in their movements. The pawns? They can be anyone really. All a pawn is in the game is fodder for the bigger pieces to move.
I must tread carefully.
This is a three way game. I must move my pieces carefully least the other two players turn against me. I must get them to destroy each other and I may move in to pick off the survivors.I cannot allow such threats to my family to exist...such threats to me and my child...and my darling crusader.
My joys.
I must admit. I am terrified of being pregnant. I fear that something terrible may happen that will cause me to lose the child and then Krilari may find someone else who would not put themselves into such danger. I am terrified at the type of mother I may become...and hope I never hurt it in a fit of rage. I hope more than anything above that I never scar my baby mentally, and that it grows up normal and carefree as can be.
I will murder to make sure of it.
Even now there is a person who stands to take it all away from me, a person who would rip Krilari away from me and cause me to live and raise the child on my own. This person over-steps his boundaries around me, and should he continue to cause me and Krilari such pain...he will find that I am not a pleasant person. So far, nothing more has happened and Krilari has managed to remain by my side. Hopefully things remain as such...for if they don't...
Even being a commander won't help this human.
Everything in my head has been hurting lately. I have a feeling of helplessness and hopelessness inside of me. I've not slept proper in weeks...all because of her. I know she didn't mean to do it...and that it was in self-defence...but I cannot help but hate her for what happened. She killed Kitten...Al'thorai...he rests in a cold block of ice because of -her-. I don't want him to be lonely in the abyss anymore...but Astus has yet to show up like he said he would. Nothing feels stable anymore...he'd been solid in my life for so long and now he's gone. It's all my fault too...if only I had returned and stayed in the tower with him...
Al'thorai, please forgive me. Come back...I need a foundation under my feet again.
They're back Kitten...and they're tormenting me so.
Down to the bottom where a sentence is cut off, there is a spill of ink. The handwriting is shaky and in some areas is hard to read. The page has water stains in many places, as though the person was crying while writing it.
Spoiler:
Damn him!
Aroes...how you fooled me...how you fooled me so! You came baring such good news and look at me now. Aroes told me that my woes were over, that Mistal would never bother me again for...something or other. I forget exactly what it was, but it can't be that important. None the less, I was caught off-guard by a letter. A seemingly harmless letter that arrived at my tower the very day after.
But no!
The letter was from Mistal, that freak of nature. He was supposed to never contact me again, that was part of the agreement but really...when does a demon ever keep up their end of the deal? I opened it to read, and inside, there was a little vial, a gift he called it for me to reconsider what I was doing. He said he'd never talk to me again...but the bastard knows my weakness...he knew how to trap me.
The vial contained Fel-blood.
Fel-blood, they very start of my downfall was because of this substance. The reason for every problem was because I allowed myself to be fooled into thinking fel was safe, harmless. Instead it started to twist me into a monster...and that hold will never let go of me. The liquid that made me feel so sick without it was in my hands. I could feel better again if I drank it, I haven't felt good in a very long time, not health-wise. But to drink it would be stupid right? Krilari would be so disappointed in me if I did drink it.
I have to resist...
I must resist...
But there it sat, taunting me like the demon it came from. It taunted me of the power I had given up for a love in which a keg was more important than I. It reminded me of a time where I was able to defend the ones I loved and hold onto what was dear to me. After I became a mage...I lost everything. I'm taunted by old allies as being weak...as growing soft. And it's true. I will never forget the rush using fel-magic gave me...the excitement of being hunted and slaughtering. I miss the look of fear in the eyes of my enemies when my demons would come out and rush them...eating their souls. The look on his face as I sewed his mouth shut...burnt his flesh...slit open is arms...
I miss it.
But I have to resist...
I must resist...
But it felt so good...
My mind feels so fuzzy right now, as if just being near the substance was enough to drive me mad...to make me feel better. My child will be in danger...and if I used fel once more...I could protect it from anything and everything. I could give it the world if I went even further...an army at it's back...demons to protect it. Nothing could hurt it ever. I can smell the blood...it's getting harder and harder to resist it! Light help me...guide me to my salvation and redemption, I can't take this feeling anym
The light can't help me here.
It can't help anyone.
I can't resist.
I must cut this entry short. I'm feeling terribly thirsty and there's this nice vial of blood next to me. That should do the trick.
05-17-2011, 01:26 PM (This post was last modified: 05-27-2011, 07:46 PM by Reigen.)
"Perfection."
".Deception."
A raspy voice sings out as a figure descends the ramps of an old abandoned tower. Her body shakes with an violent shiver near constantly, though there is no present cold. Her right arm now spazzes apart from the rest of her body, the recent arcane marring having crippled it in unforeseen ways. The spider vein like scars travel from the point of impact, lessening as they travel up the arm.
"Beautiful lie."
"False impressions."
The figure looks up to the tainted sky that is the Netherstorm. Her visible eye lacks the glow of a normal Sin'dorei. Instead, it stands out with it's metallic light blue and black. What little wind that there is caused by the raging storm manages to move her hair from the other eye. A cruel look is upon her face, and if not for the mask, a smirk would match it.
"Welcoming souls."
"Blind light."
A near crazed chuckle tares itself from her lips as she travels on to a small graveyard, located a stones throw away from the path she was on. There, she made her way on top of the graves. The stepping stone heights made it easier on the short, sickly woman and soon she sat upon the tallest one. The mask is tugged down around her neck and at last a face is there to complete the twisted image of a twisted woman. Indeed, the face is ill-looking and almost a sickly grey color, the bags under her eyes would almost give her the appearance of a half-assed raccoon. The scars across her face simply adds to the rest of her figure, showing her not a small, sweet and gentle thing.
"Trusting fools."
"A deceiver's pray."
The shivering woman then pulls out a book with her right hand. It nearly drops had she not gripped it quickly with her left, though at the price of a few tares in the cover. At last, she'd bring out a writing device in order to begin to scribble across the page. A crazed laugh would follow as she writes, but starts to calm down in order to focus on the language that already comes hard enough to the woman from the wilds.
Spoiler:
Thus the hunt beings again.
Someone has dared to touch what is mine. Someone has dared to take what it is I wish to remain with me. Must it really be one after another? That woman is going to pay for attempting to deceive Mistal'aerix and my dear Ar-'Dagoth'. She hinders the search with such actions, and I will enjoy her screams. I mean really...who enters a pact with a Demon then attempts to betray right after? I would have thought Marianna had taught her. Oh well.
She'll be another body on the floor.
Someone attempted to fool me today, claiming to have Merry. She wanted to trade Merry for myself, and was going to bind me to a contract. The idiot was stupid enough to actually leave town with me. Much to my surprise, it was a strange Human Death Knight which fought the warlock for me. Not that I'm auguring with it, it happens quiet often now and days and I'd rather not get myself dirty.
But then idiocy.
The Warlock was defeated, I expected no less. But then this pathetic excuse for a Death Knight shows up and tries to say that she's the only one who can gather information out of her, so on and so forth. I had enough and left back into the bay. I care not about what happens to either of them, instead, I hope they kill each other.
And this blasted arm!
Zariel has marred me with the very thing I taught him. Yet, oddly enough, I feel such pride about it as I was the one to teach him, and this mark will remind me of his and my own success. I feel as if I no longer need to baby the boy and that he shall be fine on his own. I shall continue to test him though, until there is no doubt in my mind that he is able to take on any challenge that comes his way.
Now if only he'd hug his father and make up.
Seems this blasted cosmos thing as near an end. I no not if any threats remain to me, but it seems unlikely for the time. I've more important things to focus on anyway. I've got allies to convince that I'm on their side, I've got people to meet and I need to expand this family more. Hopefully Tokk will understand common soon with the Draenei teaching her.
And my poor Kitten.
I need to capture and weaken someone, perhaps a nice human female. Bring a weakened human to the tower and allow Al'thorai to kill her, or at least make her bleed. This might help him recover, and if it shows any improvement at all, I will have to bring him more people. Cruel? Perhaps. But no life outside the family is worth more than the comfort of my Kitten.
My Crusader returns.
He will not be pleased to find that my arm will not be returning to normal. Sadly, the force used on me was enough to cripple. At least it was not my life, and the life of the growing child inside of myself. I must play it safe these next...seven months now, and a few after while my body recovers.
May my enemies suffer for eternity.
The woman would return the book to the bag at her side and hop down from the headstone. Her steps would take her to a landing figure in armor and light blond hair. Her look of cruelty from before now replaced by a more pleasant and innocent look and her smirk changing to a smile. This time she would whine near child-like;
05-27-2011, 08:16 PM (This post was last modified: 05-27-2011, 08:33 PM by Reigen.)
[[This song goes with the post!]]
Spoiler:
OOC Warning: This post contains dark scenes and light gore. It can be disguising at points. Please turn away of this can offend.
Spoiler:
A lone cat ran though the forest of Duskwood, perhaps to seek escape from an over-bearing owner. After being chased by a dog on it’s way out, it flew up some hills. Confident upon it’s escape, it trotted further into the hills, seeking a mouse it had saw just moments before. The hunt went on for a good thirty minutes before the cat had a rat in it’s mouth. It was proud of its self and was going to seek it’s home when a sound caught it’s attention.
A pained gurgle.
It came, rat in mouth, upon an alter. A curious beast by nature, it simply had to investigate. Upon the alter was a woman. Chains held her down to each of the four benches. The creature could not comprehend such a sight, and would not go for help for the poor woman. Instead, it sniffed around, to take the visage of her in. Her sudden, heaving body caused it to jump and run away, forgetting about her for a few moments until a pained cry drew it back.
Such is her fate.
The woman had gone still and a few scent filled the air. A vial, disgusting scent it was. While the creature could not tell, a poison was slowly crawling though the veins of the girl, causing her to have tilted her head to the side and releasing the contents of her stomach. Some did not make it, causing her hair and face to become covered in it. Her hair was matted already from dirt and vomit.
But it was old.
Her mouth was stitched shut. Whatever had come up afterwords was apparently swallowed down, the only thing to have saved her from drowning on her own vomit. The gargling came from the sound of her swallowing the blood of her still bleeding tongue. It only oozed now, as the fire had sealed the worst of the bleeding when it had first been removed. It would come to and end soon, giving her some relief from her pain. At least the pain of her own blood would be gone, and perhaps she’d even be able to rest soon.
She had no suck luck.
The cat rubbed against her right hand, wanting a reacting and perhaps a petting. Neither was given and it’s grey fur only stained red from a bloodied hand. Only four fingers rested upon the hand, the other appeared to have been crudely removed, perhaps tossed into the bushes over to the side. Nothing could be done for it, as both the hand and tongue was off rotting somewhere, or perhaps kept in a certain Sin’dorei’s sick collection.
She was a sad sight.
No emotion came from her remaining eye. The other appeared to have been violently ripped out. Some wires remained in the socket, as well as a spider that had taken residence in the empty cavity. It had been attracted by the blood that had stained the side of her face. A cut came up from her stomach to her chest, leaving the robe sliced to the side. Her empty face was bruised, looking as if it had been struck harshly a few time. Burns were around her lips, already starting to scar over from the severity of it...some of it melted.
She was dead alive.
Her face was blank, spirit broken. The mans words had sunk in and destroyed her thoughts, invaded her few comfort zones. Any more resistance from her would cause her to lose the only thing she fought for; her child. Only the thought of it’s safety caused her to hang on though the pain. Her dull expression gave away nothing, not even the pain. She would have mistaken a corpse if not for the slow rise and fall of her chest, if not for the tears that still managed to fall though her eyes and over her cheeks.
It felt her sorrow.
The cat knew the pain of others, it knew she was in pain. While confused as to why, a house-cat always knows when someone was hurt mentally. Within minutes, it was on it’s way home again, without it’s rat, purring happily as if it had done a good job. By the head of the woman was a dead rat, left to comfort her though her pain. Her gaze landed upon it, she had heard the purrs. For the first time that night...
Ode to the Lost Minded.
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