On My Writing

[Duraza]

Yes, I know I'm currently absent from rping so I'm not particularly interested in feedback on my characters. Actually, I'd very much like some critique of my writing. I'm doing a lot of that now and I'm curious, what did people like? What needed to be improved? What about it could you maybe not stand?

You can comment on style, grammar, topic, or anything really. And don't be afraid of saying what's on your mind, I'm good at processing through a critique and just taking what I want out of it. Maybe you even have a suggestion about what sort of thing I -should- write that I haven't, or a character you think would really be complimentary to my style.

For a quick refresher, my most complete stories are:

Something Wicked This Way Comes

Death's Saint

Nightmares

Thanks. Every comment will help tons.

[Aphetoros]

I love you.

[FlyingSquirrel]

I love you.

[Aphetoros]

But I think it might be interesting for you to try a character on the side of good, perhaps a bit of perspective? It can be fun to switch viewpoints every once and a while.

[muhaha8]

I'd agree with Aph. I love your writing style, and the characters you play. I've never seen a thing wrong with the language in your posts, and you portray your characters beautifully, IMO. However, yeah, maybe a good guy would be a, no pun intended, good change of pace. Evil gets a little monotinous after a while.

[Duraza]

I love you.

Heh. Thanks, I'll keep that in mind.

And yeah. I suppose whenever I end up back around I'll think of pushing a good guy to the forefront. I actually do have my goodie goodie characters, I simply find myself easily bored by day to day life without conflict. Perhaps I'll see if I can find some really good rp without conflict one day.

Thanks for comments so far.

[flammos200]

A promise is a promise so here goes.

I'll start by saying that I appreciate your work. I really do. 'S fun. Inside and outside the game. I've always been a fan of the detailed and descriptive, but also of flirting with semantics and subtlety. That said, there's a bit of criticism I feel that would do you good.

An aspect of your writing that has caught my eye - and pleased me at the time - is its... esotericism? Yes, that's a good word for it. First off, you explore deeply philosophical concepts, apply them to characters well and end up with people that make sense. The problem with this is that it is not everybody's cup of tea. Understand that not everyone's attracted to that kind of stuff, nor do they have the time to bother with the depth of setting and character, much less with characters as symbols or motifs. Sure, it tickles me pink, but it may not be the same to everyone else.

In addition, I'd like to mention that you have a lot of introspection. If you're going for a psychological exposition, rather than a narration-based one, then it's fine. If you're going for an equal blend of the two, I'd suggest bringing in some of those subtle marks of action, like not being afraid to repeat a character's name in consecutive sentences when there are other characters around.

I understand your preference for character voices with a body, rather than character bodies with a voice, however, I would like to suggest that you make characters a bit of a more... physical presence, rather than leaving them to the wisps of etherealness.

Another aspect worth mentioning is that your writing style is a very... intimate one with the reader. Generally, the text is aimed at the initiated - someone who's at least met the characters in question, or has some idea of what their proverbial 'jig' is. While this is excellent in writing books and the like, as it keeps people that've read the beginning interested enough to finish it through, in forum-format it may be difficult for the people unrelated to the storylines to either relate to the characters themselves or to grasp the concepts that they're putting out.

On characters as a whole there's little I can reproach. One thing I appreciate is depth and the sense that they are people, as opposed to cardboard cut-outs with voice-boxes.

I thought I'd also add a little feedback on your events, so here goes: I've enjoyed those I've participated in. You're a fair DM and pretty much my favorite villain-maker on CoTH. The events run smoothly, however, while you're always patient as fel, I'd like it if... well... once in a while, you'd tell people to hurry up. It'd make taking turns in combat a fair bit less sluggish. Don't be afraid to act firmly once in a while. I doubt you lack the temperance required to moderate your efforts.

In ending, I'll simply restate what I feel. Depth is as much a caveat as it is a quality. Your literature isn't for everyone. But for those that do fit into the target audience, it's a delight.