05-05-2012, 08:11 AM (This post was last modified: 05-05-2012, 08:13 AM by c0rzilla.)
Zul'drak. Snap.
Relevance:
Spoiler:
Quote:Mistake: Destroying the old Troll Empires
Qiraji: Rawr, let's kill everything!
Trolls: Bugs for dinner!
Qiraji: Oofwaga! Run away!
Trolls: Aw, where'd all the yummy bugs go?
Night Elves: We're addicted to magic!
Troll: Those are the ugliest trolls I've ever seen.
NUKE'D
Trolls: Oofwaga! Run away!
Night Elves: We didn't need those losers anyway.
Vek'lor: Did you hear something?
Vek'Nilash: Holy crap, someone blew up the world!
Vek'lor: ORLY?
Vek'Nilash: YARLY!
Vek'lor: NO WAI!
Rajaax: Hey guys! I took a look around, and all the trolls are gone!
Vek & Vek: Really? What happened?
Rajaax: They must have all got killed when they blew up the world. Now there's only these sissy-looking Night Elf things.
Vek'lor: Killing time!
Rajaax: Sweet!
Vek'Nilash: I dunno, they look an awful lot like trolls. 'Cept uglier. And more sissy-looking.
Rajaax: Aw, I wanna kill stuff!
Vek'Nilash: Let's ask the prophet, and heed the wisdom of our god!
Skeram: Ia! Ia! C'thun ftaghn!
Rajaax: ...
Vek'lor: He says go for it!
Rajaax: Rawr!
Night Elves: EEEEEK! ICKY BUGS! HELP!
Trolls: l2p Nub Elves.
Anachronos: I'LL take the case!
Quote:Pyramids didn't build themselves, and nor did the empires they were built under.
(05-05-2012, 08:09 AM)Aphetoros Wrote: Neither did palaces. ;O
Mfw half of that palace is a tree.
CAN TROLLS MANIPULATE TREES TO GROW GIANT PALACES? I DON'T THINK SO.
They just use thousands of enslaved creatures to lay stones until they die of being overworked/underfed until their giant palaces of blood and loa worship are completed.
Quote:High Elf Mistake 1: Magic
Dath'Remar: "Magic is fun! Look - I can turn this squirrel into a frog!"
Malfurion: "Yeah. Except when it breaks the world. Remember when it broke the world? You were there? I was there? A legion of howling demons was there?"
Dath'Remar: "... I fail to see your point."
Malfurion: "Look, I'll make it real simple - stop abusing the evil, demon-attracting powers, or you're out of here."
*MAGIC RAIN OF HIGH-BORNE EMO SADNESS AND CHAOTIC DESTRUCTION*
Malfurion: "Ok - you? Out. See that ocean? I want you on the other side of that ocean. Now."
High Elf Mistake 2: Driving out the Trolls
"Hey, look, a forest! Just like the one we left because we didn't like those forest-dwelling moon-freaks! Yay!"
"Uhm - it's... Kinda full of Trolls. Can't we find a different forest?"
"I like this forest!"
"The last forest you liked was possessed by a creeping madness. Can't we find a nice valley, or some kind of mountain?"
"Forest!! Forest forest!"
High Elf Mistake 3: Making a new well
"Hey... What's that?"
"Oh. It's a vial."
"Yeah, why's it glowing?"
"Cuz it's full of the waters of Eternity."
"... And you're going to pour it into the fountain."
"Yup."
"... Wait, isn't that exactly what the guy that got locked up for thousands of years for his evil act did? Y'know - 'the Betrayer'?"
"Yeah. 's his vial. He had a few extra ones."
"... Ok, just checking."
High Elf Mistake 4: Fighting the Trolls
"Hey?"
"Yeah?"
"Those Trolls we threw out of here?"
"Yeah?"
"They're back. They look mad. Can't we just find an -empty- forest? I'm pretty sure those giant troll statues we had to clear out to make room for your rock garden mean they live here."
"No way! I told you - I like this forest! Die, filthy Trolls! Magic blast time! Magic blast! Yaay!"
"Uhm - can't you tone that down? I mean - remember what that Druid said? Dangerous forces? Howling Demons? Breaking the world?"
"... Stop siding with the squirrel-frog hater. Just make some Runestones or something."
High Elf Mistake 5: Laughing at the Humans
Human: "Uhm... Hey, elf guys? We got a problem?"
Elf: "Hmm?"
Human: "Yeah - all that magic you taught us? There's... sort of been a complication."
Elf: -suppressed smile- "Oh? Really? Whatever do you mean?"
Human: "Well, strange creatures have been appearing."
Elf: "*snort* How odd!"
Human: "Yes - terrible monsters, with great physical strength, and even greater command of magical force."
Elf: "*giggle* Oh no!"
Human: "Yes - and even our strongest mages have had trouble dealing with them. Many among their ranks seem to be masters of turning the arcane against the wielder, or simply draining such power from the body."
Elf: -faked surprise- "Oh my!"
Human: "Yet, we still cannot understand where they are coming from! The farmers are fearful - blaming us Mages for these horrors. Worse yet, they may be right! Some wizards have begun to believe that our use of magic has weakened the fabric of reality itself, allowing these things to claw their way into our world from some unclean dimension! Have the Elves ever encountered such things?"
Elf: "Why -giggle-, no, I certainly can't *snort* recall... Bwahahahaha! Oh, man, that look on your face. Oh, that's priceless."
Human: "... Huh?"
Elf: "Yeah, we know them. They're demons. Scourge of the universe, attracted to magic, almost destroyed the planet once, blah blah blah. We were gonna tell you about them earlier, but then we thought letting you figure it out on your own would be a funny prank."
Human: "..."
Elf: "Aw, come on, don't be like that. You gotta admit, it was funny. 'Oh, terrible monsters are killing our mages'... Ha-ha! Man, you guys are so easy. Come on, let's just make a secret anti-demon club."
High Elf Mistake 6: Not Helping the Humans
Human: "Hey... Uhh... Elves?
Elf: "Waddaya want? I'm busy!"
Human: "Well, there's these guys..."
Elf: "What guys?"
Human: "Big green guys. Orcs. They're kinda beating us up."
Elf: "Pfft. So?"
Human: "Can you help?"
Elf: "Gee, let me think... How about.. No! Buzz off, wuss. Jeez - humans are such wimps. Can't even handle... a bunch of..."
-Orcs and Trolls Attack Elf with sharp pointy things-
Elf: "... Ah!! Humans! Humans! Help me, humans!! Ow!! Help!..." -SPEARDED-
High Elf Mistake 7: Leaving the Alliance
Human: "We are victorious! The Horde are beaten!"
Elf 1: "Pfft. No thanks to you meat-bags. We're out of here."
Humans: "But... I thought we were friends!"
Elf 1: "Dream on - We're way too cool to hang out with losers like you. We're going back to our forest."
Elf 2: "I still wanna be friends! How about I stay behind and live in Dalaran? "
Human: "I don't know - now I'm kind of distrustful of Elves. Those other elves are jerks."
Elf 2: "Pweese!? ^_^"
Human: "Ok - but I'm going to be nurturing some resentment, and if the government collapses and we degrade into an angry and paranoid group of militant survivors, I'm so going crazy-racist on you guys."
Elf 2: ""
High Elf Mistake 8: Blaming the Alliance
Elf: "The Alliance has failed my people! The woods of Quel'Thalas have been tainted! Our Sunwell lies in ruins, drained of all power!"
Human: "You... told us you didn't wanna be in the Alliance anymore."
Elf: "We only meant that as far as helping you went! We still expected rescue! Our homeland is broken!"
Human: "Yeah? Join the club. See the floating magic Spires of Dalaran over there?"
Elf: "Uh - no?"
Human: "Exactly - because some tentacle-faced freak with a magic sand-castle broke them! I won't even start on what's going on in Lordaeron right now! Everything's falling apart here, too."
Elf: "Probably your fault, anyway. It's not our problem that you can't deal with your own lands. Your Alliance still failed the Elven people when we needed you most, and we are very angry."
Human: "Y'know... Aren't you the guys that started this whole 'demonic power from beyond' mess in the first place?"
Elf: "... Uh... That's not important. The point is... The Alliance failed! Blood! Sadness. Oh woe!..."
Human: "Oh, forget it. Say - how would you like to meet my good pal, Lord Garithos?"
High Elf Mistake 9: Having anything to do with Illidan
Lady Vashj: "Hey. You need a fix?"
Kael'Thas: "... Uhm..."
Lady Vashj: "C'mon - premium Demon Energy. S' some good stuff."
Kael: "You speak of madness, my lady... Uhm - how much?"
Lady Vashj: "Tell you what - how's about we go to another dimension, and you can meet my boss. There's a rift, right over there. It's the only way to escape the humans!"
Kael: "... What about, y'know, leaving the city? There's a forest just over there. The humans aren't exactly in a position to abandon their posts and chase us."
Lady Vashj: "Look, are you gonna be a little wuss, or are you going to lead your people throgh a rift to a nether-torn dimension to meet my crazed and power-hungry master!?"
Kael: "... I ain't no wuss!..."
Illidan: "Nope. no cure."
Kael: "Oh."
Illidan: "Yeah. If I knew one, I wouldn't be a walking coat rack, and I'd still be able to wear shoes."
Kael: "So... uh... Can I hang out with you?"
Illidan: *shrug* "Sure."
Kael: "I pledge myself and my people to you, oh master. Our undying loyalty.... (thirty minutes later) ... and swift death to all your enemies! All glory to Illidan."
Illidan: "... Coo'. Wanna go break stuff?"
Kael: "Yes, oh master! Lead on, and we shall follow, even into the abyssal maw of the Nether itself!"
Illidan: "Heh - sure dude, whatever."
Quote:High Elf Mistake 1: Magic
Dath'Remar: "Magic is fun! Look - I can turn this squirrel into a frog!"
Malfurion: "Yeah. Except when it breaks the world. Remember when it broke the world? You were there? I was there? A legion of howling demons was there?"
Dath'Remar: "... I fail to see your point."
Malfurion: "Look, I'll make it real simple - stop abusing the evil, demon-attracting powers, or you're out of here."
*MAGIC RAIN OF HIGH-BORNE EMO SADNESS AND CHAOTIC DESTRUCTION*
Malfurion: "Ok - you? Out. See that ocean? I want you on the other side of that ocean. Now."
High Elf Mistake 2: Driving out the Trolls
"Hey, look, a forest! Just like the one we left because we didn't like those forest-dwelling moon-freaks! Yay!"
"Uhm - it's... Kinda full of Trolls. Can't we find a different forest?"
"I like this forest!"
"The last forest you liked was possessed by a creeping madness. Can't we find a nice valley, or some kind of mountain?"
"Forest!! Forest forest!"
High Elf Mistake 3: Making a new well
"Hey... What's that?"
"Oh. It's a vial."
"Yeah, why's it glowing?"
"Cuz it's full of the waters of Eternity."
"... And you're going to pour it into the fountain."
"Yup."
"... Wait, isn't that exactly what the guy that got locked up for thousands of years for his evil act did? Y'know - 'the Betrayer'?"
"Yeah. 's his vial. He had a few extra ones."
"... Ok, just checking."
High Elf Mistake 4: Fighting the Trolls
"Hey?"
"Yeah?"
"Those Trolls we threw out of here?"
"Yeah?"
"They're back. They look mad. Can't we just find an -empty- forest? I'm pretty sure those giant troll statues we had to clear out to make room for your rock garden mean they live here."
"No way! I told you - I like this forest! Die, filthy Trolls! Magic blast time! Magic blast! Yaay!"
"Uhm - can't you tone that down? I mean - remember what that Druid said? Dangerous forces? Howling Demons? Breaking the world?"
"... Stop siding with the squirrel-frog hater. Just make some Runestones or something."
High Elf Mistake 5: Laughing at the Humans
Human: "Uhm... Hey, elf guys? We got a problem?"
Elf: "Hmm?"
Human: "Yeah - all that magic you taught us? There's... sort of been a complication."
Elf: -suppressed smile- "Oh? Really? Whatever do you mean?"
Human: "Well, strange creatures have been appearing."
Elf: "*snort* How odd!"
Human: "Yes - terrible monsters, with great physical strength, and even greater command of magical force."
Elf: "*giggle* Oh no!"
Human: "Yes - and even our strongest mages have had trouble dealing with them. Many among their ranks seem to be masters of turning the arcane against the wielder, or simply draining such power from the body."
Elf: -faked surprise- "Oh my!"
Human: "Yet, we still cannot understand where they are coming from! The farmers are fearful - blaming us Mages for these horrors. Worse yet, they may be right! Some wizards have begun to believe that our use of magic has weakened the fabric of reality itself, allowing these things to claw their way into our world from some unclean dimension! Have the Elves ever encountered such things?"
Elf: "Why -giggle-, no, I certainly can't *snort* recall... Bwahahahaha! Oh, man, that look on your face. Oh, that's priceless."
Human: "... Huh?"
Elf: "Yeah, we know them. They're demons. Scourge of the universe, attracted to magic, almost destroyed the planet once, blah blah blah. We were gonna tell you about them earlier, but then we thought letting you figure it out on your own would be a funny prank."
Human: "..."
Elf: "Aw, come on, don't be like that. You gotta admit, it was funny. 'Oh, terrible monsters are killing our mages'... Ha-ha! Man, you guys are so easy. Come on, let's just make a secret anti-demon club."
High Elf Mistake 6: Not Helping the Humans
Human: "Hey... Uhh... Elves?
Elf: "Waddaya want? I'm busy!"
Human: "Well, there's these guys..."
Elf: "What guys?"
Human: "Big green guys. Orcs. They're kinda beating us up."
Elf: "Pfft. So?"
Human: "Can you help?"
Elf: "Gee, let me think... How about.. No! Buzz off, wuss. Jeez - humans are such wimps. Can't even handle... a bunch of..."
-Orcs and Trolls Attack Elf with sharp pointy things-
Elf: "... Ah!! Humans! Humans! Help me, humans!! Ow!! Help!..." -SPEARDED-
High Elf Mistake 7: Leaving the Alliance
Human: "We are victorious! The Horde are beaten!"
Elf 1: "Pfft. No thanks to you meat-bags. We're out of here."
Humans: "But... I thought we were friends!"
Elf 1: "Dream on - We're way too cool to hang out with losers like you. We're going back to our forest."
Elf 2: "I still wanna be friends! How about I stay behind and live in Dalaran? "
Human: "I don't know - now I'm kind of distrustful of Elves. Those other elves are jerks."
Elf 2: "Pweese!? ^_^"
Human: "Ok - but I'm going to be nurturing some resentment, and if the government collapses and we degrade into an angry and paranoid group of militant survivors, I'm so going crazy-racist on you guys."
Elf 2: ""
High Elf Mistake 8: Blaming the Alliance
Elf: "The Alliance has failed my people! The woods of Quel'Thalas have been tainted! Our Sunwell lies in ruins, drained of all power!"
Human: "You... told us you didn't wanna be in the Alliance anymore."
Elf: "We only meant that as far as helping you went! We still expected rescue! Our homeland is broken!"
Human: "Yeah? Join the club. See the floating magic Spires of Dalaran over there?"
Elf: "Uh - no?"
Human: "Exactly - because some tentacle-faced freak with a magic sand-castle broke them! I won't even start on what's going on in Lordaeron right now! Everything's falling apart here, too."
Elf: "Probably your fault, anyway. It's not our problem that you can't deal with your own lands. Your Alliance still failed the Elven people when we needed you most, and we are very angry."
Human: "Y'know... Aren't you the guys that started this whole 'demonic power from beyond' mess in the first place?"
Elf: "... Uh... That's not important. The point is... The Alliance failed! Blood! Sadness. Oh woe!..."
Human: "Oh, forget it. Say - how would you like to meet my good pal, Lord Garithos?"
High Elf Mistake 9: Having anything to do with Illidan
Lady Vashj: "Hey. You need a fix?"
Kael'Thas: "... Uhm..."
Lady Vashj: "C'mon - premium Demon Energy. S' some good stuff."
Kael: "You speak of madness, my lady... Uhm - how much?"
Lady Vashj: "Tell you what - how's about we go to another dimension, and you can meet my boss. There's a rift, right over there. It's the only way to escape the humans!"
Kael: "... What about, y'know, leaving the city? There's a forest just over there. The humans aren't exactly in a position to abandon their posts and chase us."
Lady Vashj: "Look, are you gonna be a little wuss, or are you going to lead your people throgh a rift to a nether-torn dimension to meet my crazed and power-hungry master!?"
Kael: "... I ain't no wuss!..."
Illidan: "Nope. no cure."
Kael: "Oh."
Illidan: "Yeah. If I knew one, I wouldn't be a walking coat rack, and I'd still be able to wear shoes."
Kael: "So... uh... Can I hang out with you?"
Illidan: *shrug* "Sure."
Kael: "I pledge myself and my people to you, oh master. Our undying loyalty.... (thirty minutes later) ... and swift death to all your enemies! All glory to Illidan."
Illidan: "... Coo'. Wanna go break stuff?"
Kael: "Yes, oh master! Lead on, and we shall follow, even into the abyssal maw of the Nether itself!"
Illidan: "Heh - sure dude, whatever."
And this is the part of Aryeon's heritage that he -likes-, too!
(05-05-2012, 08:39 AM)Aphetoros Wrote: They just use thousands of enslaved creatures to lay stones until they die of being overworked/underfed until their giant palaces of blood and loa worship are completed.
Meanwhile, Tauren still shake their heads and go about business as usual, y'know, fighting wars and stuff while everyone else is trying to be superior.
![[Image: world_of_warcraft_old_zul_gurub.jpg]](http://www.pooh.cz/upload/img/1000/world_of_warcraft_old_zul_gurub.jpg)
![[Image: Well_of_Eternity_-_Elves_3.jpg]](http://www.wowpedia.org/images/4/47/Well_of_Eternity_-_Elves_3.jpg)
![[Image: Ml7sNnX.gif]](http://i.imgur.com/Ml7sNnX.gif)
Elves officially evolved from Trolls
![[Image: 4866886996_c20bbf172b.jpg]](http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4119/4866886996_c20bbf172b.jpg)
![[Image: tumblr_nfm4t0FZcT1rtcd58o1_r1_500.gif]](https://33.media.tumblr.com/3291026593060f4cddcea972b198a89e/tumblr_nfm4t0FZcT1rtcd58o1_r1_500.gif)
![[Image: Jonah-Hex-Counting-Corpses-Flaming-Leap.jpg]](http://i238.photobucket.com/albums/ff226/joncthree/Jonah-Hex-Counting-Corpses-Flaming-Leap.jpg)
![[Image: SunfuryCourt1.jpg]](http://www.wowpedia.org/images/e/e6/SunfuryCourt1.jpg)
![[Image: nIapRMV.png?1]](http://i.imgur.com/nIapRMV.png?1)
![[Image: Tempest_Keep_Concept_Art_Peter_Lee_2.jpg]](http://www.wowpedia.org/images/8/86/Tempest_Keep_Concept_Art_Peter_Lee_2.jpg)
![[Image: desc_head_freemasons.jpg]](http://www.tokenrock.com/ftp/desc_head_freemasons.jpg)
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