Lox Laments: Moderating

[Loxmardin]

Hey folks. Just me with another rambling post that probably won't make much sense.

Moderating online has been one of the most fun things I've ever done. I love doing it. I wouldn't have stayed here for as long as I have if I didn't thoroughly enjoy working as a moderator in communities like CotH; I've been doing it for four and a half years now (only taking a two-month break, total) and I don't really plan on stopping anytime soon as long as there are things I can do and no one objects to me being around.

It does get really difficult sometimes, though. As a moderator you usually have to put your own ideas and desires aside in order to look at the bigger picture. It means being unselfish most of the time, considering the feelings and opinions of others way more than you consider your own. It means putting aside your pride and integrity, at times, to be fair and understanding to other people to give everyone fair judgement and a fair chance to speak their peace. It means taking into consideration all aspects of the situation and listening to every side of it, keeping track of all available information and weighing it all objectively.

Sometimes it's impossible to be objective and professional. Other times it's easy. It's a very different way to look at things compared to how you're used to look at things as a member, or player. When you don't have to worry about what everyone else thinks and feels; you just worry about your own perspective and never even have to touch or even look at the scales to see if things balance out properly. We overthink things a lot as moderators because we are genuinely concerned for our playerbase and don't want to step on any toes or make things harder for anyone; we care about what you think and feel. We're part of this community as much as you are and therefore we care about your feelings and opinions.

Our job gets very difficult when different players disagree or when we, the members on the team, feel very strongly about certain subjects but the way we see things don't necessarily agree with the players involved in discussion on the subject. We don't want to step on any toes. We don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. We want to make sure as many players as possible can come to the server and play together with us and have a good time. To enjoy their time here. But obviously we can't please everyone. It's impossible, but nonetheless heartbreaking and discouraging. Especially when it's something that causes us grief and makes it not so fun for us to stick around anymore.

I sometimes miss being able to be in the dark about things and not have to consider all the things I do now. Sometimes it can be very overwhelming and hurtful when all the pieces don't come together as well as you'd expect, be it in the form of drama or disagreements, public lashing or even private insults and harassments. We all are here to have fun and it gets very personal very quickly and very real feelings get hurt when things don't go as we want them to. I think it's very easy to forget that there's other people on the other side of the screen, sometimes. People with very real opinions and emotions that do genuinely get hurt.

But I love moderating. I love to help people. I love trying to make this place a better place to be for everyone who love it as much as I do. I love storytelling, mentoring, bonding with the players and the cozy moments with the rest of the moderating team. I've made some fantastic friends on CotH that are going to last for a long time, and most of them were made while I was a GM.

I lost my train of thought.

[Harmonic]

This is one of the hardest things.

People expect you to be objectified, giving, selfless, as well as completely able to cater to what they want. When that doesn't happen, they get angry and throw a fit.

The bad part is... you just can't do all these things. Sometimes you have to think of yourself. We all joined CoTH to make -ourselves- happy, and sometimes that can conflict with what other people want. CoTH as a GM is actually quite stressful... as you said, being in the dark about things is a nice change of pace. When you're not in the dark... it tends to color your attitude towards players and the community as a whole, because even though players claim "Well, things aren't -so- bad because I never see it!"...

A GM sees it all. The GM's see all the crap that happens, and they keep that crap from being common knowledge because we -don't- want people to get colored opinions about other players. The reason is that they try to curb drama, and make this a friendly and mostly drama-free place. I've noticed this especially in the past year to two years... as the GM's just do not care for threads that normally sparked a fair bit of drama. They handle it in the way that they give an answer, and leave that answer as what they say, which I honestly respect. It used to be much different... GM's offered up opinions and would argue the community to try to see that point, instead of just saying "This is how it is", which doesn't show an impartial attitude, but instead that these decisions are made off of opinion.

They are made off of opinion, but... I respect the way you guys handle things. It's a lot harder to do the way you do it. I can't imagine being a GM on CoTH again, as it used to be something that was very hard to do for multiple reasons. Most of them being you just get to disliking the community after a time.

[Loxmardin]

Agreed, Harmonic.

It's a very interesting role in the group dynamic, but it's also extremely exhausting. I honestly don't know if I really had a point with the initial post, but I guess I'd just reached a point where I needed to vent, heh. It's hard to bring the rose-coloured lenses as a GM sometimes and it's so easy to become jaded. Being a GM is a lot of fun at times, but it'll alter the way you interact with the community indefinitely. You'll get to know people in a very different way and it's not always nice.

GMing isn't a job for a softie. XD Got to have thick skin and a lot of patience.

[Mathias]

XD Got to have thick skin and a lot of patience.

I agree 100%.

[Jonoth]

I became a GM on CotH around the same time I became a supervisor in real life. In many ways, the two aren't mutually exclusive, and even when there isn't the more disciplinary work to do, there's still a lot of pressure just to keep the wheels turning properly.

I've had to drop from the team twice to keep my life balanced, so nothing but respect for those who keep going, especially the guys that have been there for many years.