Feedback not Pat on the back.

[Harmonic]

You're doing a hell of a lot better, that's for sure. Probably the only gripe I have right now is that sometimes, your stories can be a bit confusing. Like, I just tried to read your personal, and you namedrop so much in there I have no idea what it is you are looking for, really. It's hard to assume that everyone knows who you are talking about from your storylines, because you do have a few.

My current suggestion would be to describe what's going on, focusing on a few key characters, describing who they are, and what's going on, rather than saying "Hey, I need people to be family x so that y can infiltrate them, but you guys know the whole story".

Go into more detail! I guess that's the jest of it.






As for the pros, I must say that you are one of the people currently that seems to be holding CoTH together. You still offer a good deal of RP, and you are a quick thinker on the fly. Keep your steady pace man, you're doin' good.

[ThePharaoh]

Wow. Thank you, seriously.

I have edited the post to hopefully let people know what is going on.

Any others have any comments, or feedback for me?

[Etmosril]

Actually, I believe I will be the one to criticize.

- It seems like every day, the story takes a 180 degree turn. Jidaeo's dead/Jidaeo's not dead/Marius is dead/Marius is not dead/Selena is dead/Selena's not dead/Sanguis is Jidaeo's minion/Sanguis is not Jidaeo's minion/The guild is cohesive/The guild is not cohesive/Sanguis gets along with Selena/Sanguis hates Selena/You're playing in one location/You're playing in another completely different one/The guild has a ton of people/The guild is dying/Jidaeo is sane/Jidaeo's not sane/You're allied with X group/You hate X group.
You get the point.

I can't catch and trounce you for information and arpee every day. It gets confusing, since allegiances/power switch so quickly and I'm not around to see it. It's very hard to edge into your storyline.

You might try a POV writing from Jidaeo. After all this, I want to see how his mind works. I also want to see where the title Pharaoh came from.


Also (and this is more of a personal request): bring more funny. I demand the funny.

[ThePharaoh]

Yeah you make some valid points, unfortunately it is hard for those to keep up who don't see what is going on. But I assure you though, these events have happened it does make sense. It's all progression, stories change. I don't like to RP the same things every day ya know? It gets redundant. But It does make it hard to keep up I agree. I try to keep up with the War of Cosmos post but so much happens it becomes difficult.

Funny would most likely be attached to, Raphael as he's more of a comical character. I will try to open the story up so it is easier to follow however. And I will take this into consideration. Thank you for your feedback as I do appreciate it. Anything else?

[DaveM]

Huge storylines are great. Then again, huge storylines can get hard to follow. But t'is so much better to have convoluted plots and lost than never to have had something other than tavern RP at all.

But really - congratulations on generating one of the hugest CotH storylines I've seen, ongoing and with authentic chapters. Even if the chapters are a bit short. Perhaps lenghten those. Let the story be at least a couple of weeks about something before it becomes about somethign else, since, indeed, it seems to keep people out when they can't get a grip on the storyline.

Both Jid and Raph are solid characters that, though fairly 'badass' do manage to get RP in and reach out to other characters. Jid would be a great pillar character that people could relate to and define their place in the world of CotH with him as an extra coordinate if you settled on a main personality set and role for him. Rather than spice things up through jolts in plot, maybe look for the same effect with even more great in-depth inter-personal relationships.

[ThePharaoh]

Wow. I would say that is a pretty accurate synopsis. I see what Etmosril was saying.

Even if the chapters are a bit short. Perhaps lenghten those. Let the story be at least a couple of weeks about something before it becomes about somethign else, since, indeed, it seems to keep people out when they can't get a grip on the storyline.

Yeah that's a good idea. The whole purpose of posting the storyline is so everyone can follow along. It's also reinforced by what Etmosril was saying.

Both Jid and Raph are solid characters that, though fairly 'badass' do manage to get RP in and reach out to other characters. Jid would be a great pillar character that people could relate to and define their place in the world of CotH with him as an extra coordinate if you settled on a main personality set and role for him. Rather than spice things up through jolts in plot, maybe look for the same effect with even more great in-depth inter-personal relationships.

Very true. Really why I'm really excited to start fresh with the character, and hopefully not make the same mistakes again. I appreciate the honest, feedback which was well analyzed. I can't say I disagree with anything you said.

[ThePharaoh]

Yeah, So I'm looking for post feedback on my characters after the restart. And maybe anything else anyone wants to say. So far the people who would probably be noticed would be...

Raphael, older version.

Raph Jr.

And New Jidaeo.

Any ideas, comments, concerns. Always willing to hear feedback.

[ThePharaoh]

Kind of want to Bump this. Same information I'm curious of but I'd like to add to it.

If anyone would give a comparison feedback of Jidaeo Pre-restart to Post restart. Basically same char just minute changes. Post restart is older, Noble and different history.

Raphael Sen and jr. I got a little more RP in with them but not much. ( Also aware that I dropped the ball big time with the MK tournament but It was more of an impromptu learning session which I thank those for participating.)

Zariel is a new char added to the roster.

And I suppose storytelling as that was something I was told I should work on. I now have a story outline and a current events thread in the guild post, plus the storyline primarily based around Jidaeo.

[Nexi]

Of all your characters, Raphael and Raphael Jr are the ones I've RPed with most.

Raphael is by far the character of yours I enjoy most. Back when you first made him, he was great, but after the restart and this little time warp you did, giving him a wife and two adult children, you've been able to show a side of him that you weren't able to before. It's really neat to see Raphael and Shaena interact in their old age. He still has the same adventurous, stubborn and vulgar personality I've come to adore, but he realizes his limitations now which adds a new dynamic to how he approaches situations. While he still is very much like the young Raphael from before, he does much more thinking before he acts rather than running in guns blazing.

Raphael Jr, on the other hand... well, I will say that I would've never expected a child of Raphael Sr to become a Paladin ( that -had- to have been his mother's influence ), but he serves as a good mix of his parent's personalities. Even did me the honor of adding a bit of Alexandria's influence ( Shaena's propriety, Raphael's thirst for adventure, and Alexandria's love of tinkering ).

As for OOC:

I have no shame whatsoever in saying that out of everyone on this server, no one scares me as much as you. Now, I don't mean that I'm afraid of you telling me off, because I know that whatever it is you'd have to tell me wouldn't sting unnecessarily and I'd no doubt agree with every word and then thank you for telling me off for what everyone else would rather bottle up, but when I see "ThePharaoh" under the Recent Forum Posts list, the first thing that comes to mind is something along the lines of, "Crap, this is the post that gets Raphael banned." While I do love your outspoken and blunt personality, and I know this makes me look like a hypocrite and is a complete contradiction to the first few words of this sentence, you -may- want to consider... toning it down. The most prominent post of yours that unnerved me was the opening post in your "ThePharaoh's Corner" thread. I read that over and I remember it was posted late at night and I went to bed worried that I'd wake up to see your name added to the ban list. First thing I did when I woke up the next morning was run to my computer and check, hehe. You wouldn't believe the sigh of relief I made when I saw that not only had you not been banned, but a good number of users agreed with what you had to say. Still, that doesn't change the fact that I was worried sick. You're a good friend of mine who is very often misunderstood, and I'd rather not see you banned over it.

[ThePharaoh]

Yeah, thank you genuinely for your concern, the feedback and helping me really flesh out the character. I still remember when I first rolled Raphael unsure of what he'd become and a gnome entered and ordered moonberry juice leaving a trail of mud. Through The People's Militia, island trapped events onto this restart. Raphael Sr and Alexandria Steamfizzle is probably one of the most consistent and long standing friendships I have with any character on the server.

I was just looking through the storyline for him and saw Lexi mentioned or in one of the pictures for a lot of the entries.

Raph Jr's becoming a paladin was his mother, and Raph's own want to protect his loved ones. lol As you saw by this time Raph sr. gives up arguing with shae.

As for my OOCness....Yeaaah you're right. Half the time the stuff I say I don't think is even that bad. I just think its true, it's hard to be politically correct in an un-politically correct world. But I do realize though I may feel I'm right or at least making a worth while point, it isn't necessary in the sense that I ultimately came here to RP and had little interest in the forums to begin with....until I realized the forums corresponded with said RP

Like I've said before, It's never my intention to make anyone on the server mad, or offend them. I just like to debate, so I'd try to convey my thoughts clearly so others who opinions I respect ( or I wouldn't care to debate ) can respond. But I will keep this more in mind. Because I -really- don't want to get banned either lol. I really appreciate the feedback, and we should definitely RP soon.

[ThePharaoh]

Feedback Curiosity. It's been a while.

And since the server restart is coming up I'm wondering how I did this time.

Storylines...

IC action..

Main Chars feedback

OOC Feedback

Or anything about me as a member on CoTH. As I've been here for over 2 years now. Any and All feedback is appreciated.

[c0rzilla]

Oh, Jidaeo. The shenanigans Anna and he got into. It was fun seeing him hate and need Anna at the same time. Despise and respect, and always try to show he was the big bad elf.

Zariel's insecurity was well done.

Storylines got a bit loopy and off the wall, but they fill my need for silly epic. Thanks for including me in them!

[ThePharaoh]

Yeah Jid and Anna had an interesting Dynamic.

I began to enjoy playing Zariel more because he just seemed more, believable. Imperfect. Even though Jid obviously wasn't perfect he didn't like to show his weaknesses. Because as you said he was always trying to be the Big Bad Elf. Zariel was way more humble.


Storylines did get pretty out there. And they fed my need for epic too. But What I'm thinking of doing is taking the same storytelling methods, and ways to advance plot but try to tailor it more to a wow specific setting. As this story -couid- fit in wow, it never had to, aside from the playable races and obvious locations. I did that just because we really can't effect the world we RP in. So I felt the need to create a large group of antagonists to kill off freely and pose as a threat to our characters.

So instead of fighting a cult with a semi in-depth background and many members represented. I'd try an alliance group as well, or maybe a malevolent group, rival noble family or wherever the story goes. I want to make the storylines more accessible for people to join into. Because even though they focus around the lives of the chars I play my storylines aren't just about them. They are just as much about those who are involved. Like Annabelle had a big roll, as well as Reigen's Reigen, and DaveM's Singe. Many others have driven the story and even added their own lore and flare to it. I never inhibit RP and say -this- way goes, because no one wants to RP with that dude and everyone's char is important.

Heck if it wasn't for the Character Lexi, Raph Jr would be completely different and his twin sister would have a different name. Since she's named after her. My point is, the players in CoTH shape and effect the storylines just as much if not more than some of my own chars who are sometimes just there for the ride.

I enjoy making something people can have fun with. From a PM saying "Hey man nice read!" to RPing with those who know the stories well, and can pick up and add onto details inserted. It's fun to see the reactions and participation. And it is greatly appreciated. Thank -you- and everybody else for participating and I hope you enjoyed it.

Also thanks to Nexi, Hawk and Cressy for going along with the Ordonis time skip. For this last year. I don't know what I'm doing with them yet, and I know you all have ideas for your own chars but I appreciated it the last year.


I think each year I've gotten better. Or at least I'd like to hope I have.

From 2009 - 2010 I came up with The Novalight and Ordonis concepts, and chronicled them in storyline posts.

2010 - 2011 I would like to say I got better at running events, RP in general, storylines, and expanded on the two previous concepts.

2011 - Cataclysm 2012 I would like to improve all the same.

Anything I should work on or focus on?

As well as any ideas for storylines? Or concepts?

[ThePharaoh]

Could use constructive criticism to better myself as an RPer for the server. I'd like to web storylines together, and I know I won't be able to do that until I become a consistent, and thorough Roleplayer. Perhaps event Ideas you'd like to see me do, or suggestions. I'd really like to hear those or anything.

[c0rzilla]

Let's see...

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Characters

Jidaeo - The months of development with him and Annabelle have been great. It's wonderful to see him still sulking with sin'dorei pride, and the dimmed emotions of a death knight, but still grudgingly respect and like Annabelle. Him being a background presence is interesting as well, and I enjoy seeing the fatherly love toward Zariel. You should perhaps tone down the ominousness, which might sound odd, even difficult for a character like Jidaeo, being a Tormentor. But, it can reach a point where it renders more corny giggles than a sense of true foreboding.

Zariel - Again, months of neat development between him and Annabelle. Especially with the current romance. I see that you're trying to play him as inexperienced and uncertain, spoiled, but not stupid, with a drive and will to succeed. The issue is, he often comes across as not the most intelligent. His decisions are very impulsive, he lacks control and understanding over his emotions, and his identity seems to rely on ephemeral nobility, and the success of his ancestors, not his own. You and he both also have a tendency to call whoever calls him out on his silliness arrogant. Something needs to happen (perhaps the trek through the wilds, and the situation with Sanguis, listening to and considering what he calls "arrogant", instead of sulking) that will render him a whole, stable, confident person.

Sanguis - I have the least experience with this one. Fun villain, I've read about his complexities. I don't quite understand the cult behind him, but I'll learn in time, I'm sure.

General - Don't be afraid of feelings! Yes, you call them lame all the time, but I know your characters have hidden depths. Show theeeem! Also, your characters seem to toss money around like it's in a bottomless pit. I understand they're part of an ancient noble house, but fifteen gold for a weather report is a tad much.

Storylines
Boy, do you like epic! Epic is fun, don't get me wrong. The Kings of Cosmos (and other storylines) fills my need and want for flashy fun. I think I stated this previously, but you should make/keep some structure and goals other than "get this object", or "kill this guy". Information can be just as powerful a tool as a sword, for example.

I also advise you ponder some other reasons for the Crystal Skulls other than augmenting power. The resonating was a fun aspect we've yet to fully explore. Storehouses of ancient data would be another fun aspect to the Kings. Exploring their story in some ancient ruins without killing or blasting anything could add depth to them.

Your desire to unite and work the community is admirable, but you have a tendency to herd everyone in in a given area. This also renders things a tad jarring and nonsensical, like that one episode in the Howling Fjord. Community is nice, but there is such a thing as too much of a good thing, and a good thing at the wrong time.

I honestly wish I could randomly decide to hold an event without an anxiety like you do. But, sometimes your events seem random, more focused on flash than progress and story. Being entertained is fun, but...it's like a cake. Too much icing, and not enough cake isn't a good thing.

All in all, fun, but schizophrenic, random, and all over the place. Taking down hordes of enemies with no (expressed) problem or guilt in murder can get tiresome.

Style
You and I have discussed our differing styles a-plenty. Your RP does tend to come across as something out of an action packed shonen anime, where the flashiest solution is the best. Qualities of that genre aren't bad, in and of themselves.

However, the issue is that you sort of mash them all together and it can end up messy and jarring. Your storylines and characters have plenty of good qualities, but they can become lost and muddled amongst the flash of sudden random plot twists, or tons of random fights. Structure beforehand could help immensely here, so events don't get lost in the scheme of things and people aren't left scratching their heads. Thinking on your toes, and having people think on theirs is fun sometimes. But all the time, and it gets confusing and things can get shallow.

You really should focus on the finer details of emoting in RP. Body language can speak immensely, a subtle glance here or there can speak volumes. You've said you enjoy the flashy emoting of battle, which is fine. I do too, nothing like a long emote for a Penance. But, when the emotes for everyday things are a few words, it seems like your characters are made just to participate in epic things. It also becomes hard to read your characters, how they feel, what they want, who they are. Small time, personal interaction can be fun and developing. Despite our conflicting styles, I do appreciate you trying to accommodate my tastes, despite your distaste for them.

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Hope that all helps! You've been an immense boon and friend to me all this time, and I look forward to more.