05-14-2012, 08:36 AM
This is a labor of love from a book I got a few years ago. I really enjoyed it and wanted to apply the principles into my Role-playing. I won’t be covering all that’s in the book, but all the work is based on it. Here is the book information for proper credit, and if you’re interested in the book itself.
Chapman, Gary. (2004). The Five Love Languages. Chicago, IN: Northfield Publishing
ISBN 1-881273-15-6
Introduction
Azeroth is an ever-changing world with your characters’ emotions, expectations, and relationships evolving in real time. Understanding each persons’ preferred line of communication can bring a sense of balance and stability to character interactions within family, romantic, and even platonic relationships. There are three main concepts in this guide, the love tank, the languages, and discovering your primary love language.
The Love Tank
It is natural to want to feel loved. Did you catch that? It isn’t enough to simply be loved, but you must feel it. This is what is called the love tank. Think of it as a gas tank on a Mechano-hog or a bank account. You’re only going to put out what is put in. Now imagine everything has a little price-tag on it. Something you’re comfortable with or that you appreciate yourself is going to cost less than something you loathe to do.
For example; It would cost less for Tikar to take a walk with you (time) than to willingly join in a battle against Orcs (service).
Now if your love tank is constantly filled, you’ll have an easier time with large withdrawals. But what if it’s empty due to neglect? While the tank doesn’t really go into the negatives, running on (E) can be detrimental to someone. This is where you get into abnormal behavior such as being easily angered, misbehaving, substance abuse, having harsh words or a critical attitude towards others. This is not an exhaustive list, so feel free to insert whatever vice you want.
The Five Love Languages
An important note: Even though you and your mate or friend might have the same language, you might be speaking in different dialects. I’ll list a couple at the end of each language to simply point out how they could be different. The diversity of dialects are truly innumerable.
Words of Affirmation – You do not have to hire a bard to express a verbal compliment or appreciation. They are most effective when they are simple and to the point. An encouraging word to someone with low self-esteem can make all the difference. Kind words are more focused on how you speak versus what you say. If someone is loud and angry with you, try being soft and quiet. Humble words are best described as making requests instead of demands. If our desires come off as demands, then we have lost a sense of intimacy and any chance for reciprocal love.
Quality Time – It’s not enough to simply be near someone. Nor is it staring meaningfully into their eyes for hours. It is the act of being together with undivided attention. This usually involves conversation. Here are some listening tips; Maintain eye contact, listen for feelings, observe body language and refuse to interrupt. Above all, do not try to "fix them" unless they specifically request advice. The flip-side is learning how to talk via self-revelation. How can your mate or friend feel close without knowing you, as well? Quality activities are a dialect I like to lump small-scale events into. The focus is not what you’re doing, but the emotions that are created, shared, and remembered by it.
Receiving Gifts – They come in all colors, shapes, sizes and prices. Though someone who’s love language is gifts would rarely care how much the gift was. This love language might make you rethink your stance on money. If you save a lot, you might find some personal conflict with spending money on your friend or mate. The best gifts are thoughtful ones, appropriate for the time and what is trying to be conveyed. A dialect of this language is the gift of self. During a crisis or tragedy, your physical presence will speak more than any tangible gift ever could.
Acts of Service – “Actions speak louder than words.” was probably said by someone with this love language. They require purpose, planning time, effort, energy but most importantly, a positive spirit. If you begrudgingly accept to polish some armor while grumbling the whole time, how much is that even worth to the person requesting it? This is where stereotypes can throw a wrench in the works. They are mostly created by the examples in your characters’ parents, but might need to be overcome to properly relate to your mate or friend. Someone with this love language has a servant-mind approach to others.
Physical Touch – Of the five senses, touching is not limited to one localized area of the body. It can make or break a relationship. It can communicate hate or love. A slap to the face might sting a little, but to someone who’s love language is physical touch it would be devastating emotionally as well. The most important thing to remember is not all touch leads to the bedroom, that is just one of many dialects. Jonoth really put a great guide on this, Getting Down: Love and Eroticism in Roleplay. With that being said, most intimacy problems have little to do physical technique but everything with meeting emotional needs.
Discovering Your Characters’ Primary Love Language
Not to say that the others don't matter, but people usually have one primary love language. This can be fun to RP figuring out as well, even if you’ve already decided what their language would be. But here are some questions you can use to narrow it down. If two really stick out, well maybe you’re bilingual. Lucky for your partner!
1) What do friends or mate do or fail to do that hurts you most deeply? The opposite of what hurts you most is probably your love language.
2) What have you most requested from your mate or others? The thing you most often requested is likely the thing that would make you feel loved the most.
3) In what way to you express love to others or to your mate? You method of expressing love may be an indication that would make you feel loved.
There are two kinds of people who have a hard time figuring out their love language. Those people who tanks are constantly filled. They simply know they are loved. The other is the person who has had an empty tank for so long they can’t remember what makes them feel loved.
Conclusion
Relationships can be tricky to navigate. With a little direction and purpose they can stand the test of time. I hope this suggestion adds a new depth to role-playing experienced couples, close friends, family members and even getting to know a stranger. I only caution listing off your characters’ love languages via forum to reduce the chance for meta-gaming, which can cheapen the experience.
Chapman, Gary. (2004). The Five Love Languages. Chicago, IN: Northfield Publishing
ISBN 1-881273-15-6
Introduction
Azeroth is an ever-changing world with your characters’ emotions, expectations, and relationships evolving in real time. Understanding each persons’ preferred line of communication can bring a sense of balance and stability to character interactions within family, romantic, and even platonic relationships. There are three main concepts in this guide, the love tank, the languages, and discovering your primary love language.
The Love Tank
It is natural to want to feel loved. Did you catch that? It isn’t enough to simply be loved, but you must feel it. This is what is called the love tank. Think of it as a gas tank on a Mechano-hog or a bank account. You’re only going to put out what is put in. Now imagine everything has a little price-tag on it. Something you’re comfortable with or that you appreciate yourself is going to cost less than something you loathe to do.
For example; It would cost less for Tikar to take a walk with you (time) than to willingly join in a battle against Orcs (service).
Now if your love tank is constantly filled, you’ll have an easier time with large withdrawals. But what if it’s empty due to neglect? While the tank doesn’t really go into the negatives, running on (E) can be detrimental to someone. This is where you get into abnormal behavior such as being easily angered, misbehaving, substance abuse, having harsh words or a critical attitude towards others. This is not an exhaustive list, so feel free to insert whatever vice you want.
The Five Love Languages
An important note: Even though you and your mate or friend might have the same language, you might be speaking in different dialects. I’ll list a couple at the end of each language to simply point out how they could be different. The diversity of dialects are truly innumerable.
Words of Affirmation – You do not have to hire a bard to express a verbal compliment or appreciation. They are most effective when they are simple and to the point. An encouraging word to someone with low self-esteem can make all the difference. Kind words are more focused on how you speak versus what you say. If someone is loud and angry with you, try being soft and quiet. Humble words are best described as making requests instead of demands. If our desires come off as demands, then we have lost a sense of intimacy and any chance for reciprocal love.
Quality Time – It’s not enough to simply be near someone. Nor is it staring meaningfully into their eyes for hours. It is the act of being together with undivided attention. This usually involves conversation. Here are some listening tips; Maintain eye contact, listen for feelings, observe body language and refuse to interrupt. Above all, do not try to "fix them" unless they specifically request advice. The flip-side is learning how to talk via self-revelation. How can your mate or friend feel close without knowing you, as well? Quality activities are a dialect I like to lump small-scale events into. The focus is not what you’re doing, but the emotions that are created, shared, and remembered by it.
Receiving Gifts – They come in all colors, shapes, sizes and prices. Though someone who’s love language is gifts would rarely care how much the gift was. This love language might make you rethink your stance on money. If you save a lot, you might find some personal conflict with spending money on your friend or mate. The best gifts are thoughtful ones, appropriate for the time and what is trying to be conveyed. A dialect of this language is the gift of self. During a crisis or tragedy, your physical presence will speak more than any tangible gift ever could.
Acts of Service – “Actions speak louder than words.” was probably said by someone with this love language. They require purpose, planning time, effort, energy but most importantly, a positive spirit. If you begrudgingly accept to polish some armor while grumbling the whole time, how much is that even worth to the person requesting it? This is where stereotypes can throw a wrench in the works. They are mostly created by the examples in your characters’ parents, but might need to be overcome to properly relate to your mate or friend. Someone with this love language has a servant-mind approach to others.
Physical Touch – Of the five senses, touching is not limited to one localized area of the body. It can make or break a relationship. It can communicate hate or love. A slap to the face might sting a little, but to someone who’s love language is physical touch it would be devastating emotionally as well. The most important thing to remember is not all touch leads to the bedroom, that is just one of many dialects. Jonoth really put a great guide on this, Getting Down: Love and Eroticism in Roleplay. With that being said, most intimacy problems have little to do physical technique but everything with meeting emotional needs.
Discovering Your Characters’ Primary Love Language
Not to say that the others don't matter, but people usually have one primary love language. This can be fun to RP figuring out as well, even if you’ve already decided what their language would be. But here are some questions you can use to narrow it down. If two really stick out, well maybe you’re bilingual. Lucky for your partner!
1) What do friends or mate do or fail to do that hurts you most deeply? The opposite of what hurts you most is probably your love language.
2) What have you most requested from your mate or others? The thing you most often requested is likely the thing that would make you feel loved the most.
3) In what way to you express love to others or to your mate? You method of expressing love may be an indication that would make you feel loved.
There are two kinds of people who have a hard time figuring out their love language. Those people who tanks are constantly filled. They simply know they are loved. The other is the person who has had an empty tank for so long they can’t remember what makes them feel loved.
Conclusion
Relationships can be tricky to navigate. With a little direction and purpose they can stand the test of time. I hope this suggestion adds a new depth to role-playing experienced couples, close friends, family members and even getting to know a stranger. I only caution listing off your characters’ love languages via forum to reduce the chance for meta-gaming, which can cheapen the experience.
(Chapman, 2004) Wrote:We are influenced by our personality but not controlled by it.
![[Image: 3HQ8ifr.gif]](http://i.imgur.com/3HQ8ifr.gif)
![[Image: KceuhuX.gif]](http://i.imgur.com/KceuhuX.gif)
![[Image: eKcKrrq.png]](http://i.imgur.com/eKcKrrq.png)
![[Image: desc_head_freemasons.jpg]](http://www.tokenrock.com/ftp/desc_head_freemasons.jpg)
![[Image: awesome-mario-gif.gif]](http://www.folkingmetal.com/pickors/awesome-mario-gif.gif)
