03-01-2009, 04:07 PM
There is, I immediately noticed, no proper place to put a topic like this. This I'm sure I could relate somehow to the state of things, but that might be too far of a stretch---I will clarify this stretch though, and say that it shouldn't be ten times easier to throw proverbial knives at others in the community than it is to post a topic stating concern that there's a downward spiral going on. I will clarify this, as I just have, and let the stretching be done by the reader.
Enough about that. I just mean we don't have enough happy thoughts.
The GMs. Too much work. Enough said, right? Many will instantly say that the solution is of course promoting more GMs...but honestly, how many could actually do the job to a reasonable degree? Give that some thought, then consider still what we can do, as a community, to help the GMs. On that list, despite the chimes of most, is not 'siddown 'n shaddap 'n read da friggin wiki'.
That is a sound suggestion, at times. Sometimes. Not often. The fact remains that as a community there should really be an easier way to get help with something then slogging through cumulative information from however long this server has been functional. I am NOT saying it's not a good reference. This post is NOT to level jabs at anything (in fact, it's leveling jabs at jabbers maybe) it's to say that there is a simple solution.
A voluntary system of help. Not restricted to the forums---I couldn't figure out, and I avoided making a suggestion without looking into it, why there was no chat channel in-game for questions. Name it 'Helpline' or something like that, which is open by volunteer to any player. If you're a vet to the server, and you're not doing anything imporant, join the channel. If no one else joins to ask a question, then that's wonderful. If they do, try to help them out. You don't HAVE to be there, and can leave if you become busy...
But...
It would certainly water down the volume of simpler requests that fly at the GMs all the time. So often I watch the progression: A player comes along. They get confused. They ask for help---someone busy with something, who could have not answered at all, gives a snippy answer instead simply for having to hear the question (I'm not sure of the logic, I'm not here to analyze that trend). The new player, still with no answer and now with a chip on either or both shoulders, either goes to the forum (which they're already frustrated from looking through) no armed with irritation and seeing their question as proof that 'teh survor suckz'.
This, and resulting GM involvement and arguments could have been solved by having a place where people who want to help where they can, can simply sit while they're on---still doing what they want to do---and field the smaller questions. If no one knows? Send them to a GM. But 95% of the questions/irriant inducers I see, someone knew the answer to. The answer was not 'check the wiki'.
For a community, the wiki/forum should be the last line of defense. Look there before getting involved, yes, but if a problem crops up in the center of things then there is no good reason why one should feel uncomfortable asking for help. If one cannot do that, then this is not a community and we should promptly ditch the term. I don't want to do that, 'cause I love everyone. This is, after all, written by the local 'niceface'.
A volunteer service to field simpler requests/confusions/questions would take a load off of the GMs, and likely reduce that assholery level by at least 20% (relative to attack power... oh, wait...)
Say it in private. This blurb is supposed to be a suggestion-oriented commentary. I planned on saying what might be solutions to issues, or ways to water them down---but this one requires a direct approach. Do not do it. If you have something rude to say to someone, say it privately.
No one wants to see your argument. If your interaction with this person has become so unpleasant that you must hurl insults (Even the passive-agressive type. I'm talking to you too.) then you must harbor enough e-dislike in your wonderful little heart to whisper it or 'take it outside' so to speak. If you cannot do that, then you must not be that upset. Isn't that a novel idea?
The case here is that if people spent nearly as much time trying to be helpful, or kind, as they did tossing stones at the thing they dislike the most at any given moment it'd be a little easier to say 'community' without having to give one of those wry 'well, sort of...' faces.
The core for this point is of course one of our recently resigned GMs. I am not sure who was tossing the barbs, but it was unecessary. Calm down. Think about what you're saying. If it has no productive value...
Founding this point is a simple logic that seems to evade us on the whole once we have forgotten that somewhere is somewhere we're choosing to be rather than being somewhere else. If you are upset, and you feel you need to say something... I am not saying do not say it. I am saying to say it in private and---before you do that---think a moment if it has any productive value whatsover.
Asking Sasail "What do you do around here anyway?" has no productive value. What does Sasail do? Sasail is (was) a GM. What do you do?
The answer to both of those are completely worthless. The comment had no value other than to irritate the recipient. That is juvenile. That is embarassing to be around. That is, were I capable of it while being the community 'niceface', angering. Someone once told me that no oppinion is worthless... fine. I realize this is true, only because of a technicality:
Let's look at a number line. Worthless would be zero. No value. But there's a whole other half of the number line, in the 'wrong' direction. No oppinion is worthless because they either veer into the positive or the negative. Just because your oppinion has 'numerical' worth---negative, in the cases I speak of---does not mean it helps anything. On the contrary, you have in deciding to insult/annoy/badger/spout put-downs actually produced something a bit less than worthless.
You have, despite a whole positive end of the spectrum, chosen to take away. To move anyone and everyone who recieves/sees/hears of that message just a little bit in the negative direction.
I hesitate to use the word. But that is just dumb.
You have a problem.
You do not like it.
Despite nagging, rudeness etc... someone adresses it.
You are asked 'What would you do to improve this?'
You draw a blank.
This is a problem. If you cannot come up with a suggestion, within reason, for how to alleviate your problem then a few things should happen as a direct result: You may still complain, but you should now be very civil about it. Solving the problem is beyond you, so whoever does it or tells you how is doing you a favor. Or if you cannot bring yourself to be civil, take a good look at the problem. Is there any realistic way to solve it? If not, then perhaps what you have is a suggestion on an improvement, not an excuse for a [deleted badwordness! Oh noes!]fest.
The little drummer boy thought very seriously about not going to a very good place, because he had nothing good to bring to the table. You should think very seriously too. It turned out he at least had a drum, and that was good enough.
I caution banging on things and calling it being helpful.
I wrote this because, on the whole, I feel as though I arrived at the end of something. When I came in, the place to be frank was not very friendly. I know now the reason for the GMs being irritable at times, having sat and watched for a bit longer. And I'd hate to see what was once a positive community sink because people have, from where I stand, forgotten to enjoy being here.
Or forgotten to try and improve our collective creative getaway, so that the next person to come along may have a better experience. Instead the oft-come-across 'sponge' mentality has arisen. Whether by intent or absence of thought, I cannot judge. Taking away, and taking away, and continuing to take away from any limited resource is a horrible idea.
What do I mean? Some of you---not all of you---should count how many gripes you've made this week. Just this week. This counts passive comments ('barbs' as I put them)...this counts rude statements. This counts not a request for help, but turning that request into a drive-by insult as well, or some unecessarily loud conflict. This counts the ones you won't count to keep your number down mentally. This counts the one that you think 'no one could have taken seriously'. This counts prodding the GMs to do too much, faster than they usually do.
Tally them all up for me, sweethearts, and measure them against how many 'community' members you've helped. Or for that matter, even greeted. I'll give you a greeting because that's helpful and I notice people actually do that. It's a buffer, so your ratio won't look too bad.
Take a moment to say something nice about someone. If you're in a bad mood, and you know you are, leave it with whatever is irritating you. Or just try to relax. One of the resigned GMs had RL issues to take care of, so I can't drag that into this... I can hint that there's no way being a GM on a creative, recreational community should be so stressful. But I can't put words in anyone's mouth.
The other got fed up. And I am telling you, in closing, that Sasail is not the only one. There are those of us with far less important status who don't like the atmosphere that is festering here. I do not know why those who perpetuate it would do so, I am simply asking that you stop. It may be dismissed, or laughed off, or whatever... but the writing on the wall is big and bold. We're scaring away our foundations, and it won't be too long before an overall collapse.
Mark my words, if things do not improve I cannot imagine there will be a pleasant little pocket of interwebz called CotH in any forseeable extended future. If the community has gone to hell, and the positives are growing slimmer and slimmer and the GMs cannot even do their jobs without harassment...then I'd like to see what is found to complain about, or who is found the insult, when there is nothing here.
At least I'd be able to take 'community' out of loose quotes. I'd rather do that by being able to say it without mentally drawing quotes around it... to say the word because yes, people are helpful and pleasant and generally well-meaning around here... but ditching the quotes because what 'community' there is has finally crumbled entirely and the site/server is gone will work just as well.
To end on a happy note, because I am usually known as relentlessly upbeat, I feel sincerely as though it is well within our collective power to find the good again ^.^. I imagine in a month's time, or weeks even, a newcomer might stumble across this post and wonder what Amy was going on about. That's good! If my upbeatery looks silly, rather than being an emergency floatation device on a sinking ship, then that means all is well.
Much love to you all, and let's try to bring some smiles and productive behaviors to the table. (And if someone can actually play the drums, I suppose you can bring those too.)
Luvvles,
~Amy T
Enough about that. I just mean we don't have enough happy thoughts.
Case 1: Take a load off!
The GMs. Too much work. Enough said, right? Many will instantly say that the solution is of course promoting more GMs...but honestly, how many could actually do the job to a reasonable degree? Give that some thought, then consider still what we can do, as a community, to help the GMs. On that list, despite the chimes of most, is not 'siddown 'n shaddap 'n read da friggin wiki'.
That is a sound suggestion, at times. Sometimes. Not often. The fact remains that as a community there should really be an easier way to get help with something then slogging through cumulative information from however long this server has been functional. I am NOT saying it's not a good reference. This post is NOT to level jabs at anything (in fact, it's leveling jabs at jabbers maybe) it's to say that there is a simple solution.
A voluntary system of help. Not restricted to the forums---I couldn't figure out, and I avoided making a suggestion without looking into it, why there was no chat channel in-game for questions. Name it 'Helpline' or something like that, which is open by volunteer to any player. If you're a vet to the server, and you're not doing anything imporant, join the channel. If no one else joins to ask a question, then that's wonderful. If they do, try to help them out. You don't HAVE to be there, and can leave if you become busy...
But...
It would certainly water down the volume of simpler requests that fly at the GMs all the time. So often I watch the progression: A player comes along. They get confused. They ask for help---someone busy with something, who could have not answered at all, gives a snippy answer instead simply for having to hear the question (I'm not sure of the logic, I'm not here to analyze that trend). The new player, still with no answer and now with a chip on either or both shoulders, either goes to the forum (which they're already frustrated from looking through) no armed with irritation and seeing their question as proof that 'teh survor suckz'.
This, and resulting GM involvement and arguments could have been solved by having a place where people who want to help where they can, can simply sit while they're on---still doing what they want to do---and field the smaller questions. If no one knows? Send them to a GM. But 95% of the questions/irriant inducers I see, someone knew the answer to. The answer was not 'check the wiki'.
For a community, the wiki/forum should be the last line of defense. Look there before getting involved, yes, but if a problem crops up in the center of things then there is no good reason why one should feel uncomfortable asking for help. If one cannot do that, then this is not a community and we should promptly ditch the term. I don't want to do that, 'cause I love everyone. This is, after all, written by the local 'niceface'.
A volunteer service to field simpler requests/confusions/questions would take a load off of the GMs, and likely reduce that assholery level by at least 20% (relative to attack power... oh, wait...)
Case 2: If you don't have anything nice to say...
Say it in private. This blurb is supposed to be a suggestion-oriented commentary. I planned on saying what might be solutions to issues, or ways to water them down---but this one requires a direct approach. Do not do it. If you have something rude to say to someone, say it privately.
No one wants to see your argument. If your interaction with this person has become so unpleasant that you must hurl insults (Even the passive-agressive type. I'm talking to you too.) then you must harbor enough e-dislike in your wonderful little heart to whisper it or 'take it outside' so to speak. If you cannot do that, then you must not be that upset. Isn't that a novel idea?
The case here is that if people spent nearly as much time trying to be helpful, or kind, as they did tossing stones at the thing they dislike the most at any given moment it'd be a little easier to say 'community' without having to give one of those wry 'well, sort of...' faces.
The core for this point is of course one of our recently resigned GMs. I am not sure who was tossing the barbs, but it was unecessary. Calm down. Think about what you're saying. If it has no productive value...
Case 3: Then find something better to do.
Founding this point is a simple logic that seems to evade us on the whole once we have forgotten that somewhere is somewhere we're choosing to be rather than being somewhere else. If you are upset, and you feel you need to say something... I am not saying do not say it. I am saying to say it in private and---before you do that---think a moment if it has any productive value whatsover.
Asking Sasail "What do you do around here anyway?" has no productive value. What does Sasail do? Sasail is (was) a GM. What do you do?
The answer to both of those are completely worthless. The comment had no value other than to irritate the recipient. That is juvenile. That is embarassing to be around. That is, were I capable of it while being the community 'niceface', angering. Someone once told me that no oppinion is worthless... fine. I realize this is true, only because of a technicality:
Let's look at a number line. Worthless would be zero. No value. But there's a whole other half of the number line, in the 'wrong' direction. No oppinion is worthless because they either veer into the positive or the negative. Just because your oppinion has 'numerical' worth---negative, in the cases I speak of---does not mean it helps anything. On the contrary, you have in deciding to insult/annoy/badger/spout put-downs actually produced something a bit less than worthless.
You have, despite a whole positive end of the spectrum, chosen to take away. To move anyone and everyone who recieves/sees/hears of that message just a little bit in the negative direction.
I hesitate to use the word. But that is just dumb.
Case 4: Pa-rum-pa-pum-pum. (Little drummer boy syndrome)
You have a problem.
You do not like it.
Despite nagging, rudeness etc... someone adresses it.
You are asked 'What would you do to improve this?'
You draw a blank.
This is a problem. If you cannot come up with a suggestion, within reason, for how to alleviate your problem then a few things should happen as a direct result: You may still complain, but you should now be very civil about it. Solving the problem is beyond you, so whoever does it or tells you how is doing you a favor. Or if you cannot bring yourself to be civil, take a good look at the problem. Is there any realistic way to solve it? If not, then perhaps what you have is a suggestion on an improvement, not an excuse for a [deleted badwordness! Oh noes!]fest.
The little drummer boy thought very seriously about not going to a very good place, because he had nothing good to bring to the table. You should think very seriously too. It turned out he at least had a drum, and that was good enough.
I caution banging on things and calling it being helpful.
In Closing.
I wrote this because, on the whole, I feel as though I arrived at the end of something. When I came in, the place to be frank was not very friendly. I know now the reason for the GMs being irritable at times, having sat and watched for a bit longer. And I'd hate to see what was once a positive community sink because people have, from where I stand, forgotten to enjoy being here.
Or forgotten to try and improve our collective creative getaway, so that the next person to come along may have a better experience. Instead the oft-come-across 'sponge' mentality has arisen. Whether by intent or absence of thought, I cannot judge. Taking away, and taking away, and continuing to take away from any limited resource is a horrible idea.
What do I mean? Some of you---not all of you---should count how many gripes you've made this week. Just this week. This counts passive comments ('barbs' as I put them)...this counts rude statements. This counts not a request for help, but turning that request into a drive-by insult as well, or some unecessarily loud conflict. This counts the ones you won't count to keep your number down mentally. This counts the one that you think 'no one could have taken seriously'. This counts prodding the GMs to do too much, faster than they usually do.
Tally them all up for me, sweethearts, and measure them against how many 'community' members you've helped. Or for that matter, even greeted. I'll give you a greeting because that's helpful and I notice people actually do that. It's a buffer, so your ratio won't look too bad.
Take a moment to say something nice about someone. If you're in a bad mood, and you know you are, leave it with whatever is irritating you. Or just try to relax. One of the resigned GMs had RL issues to take care of, so I can't drag that into this... I can hint that there's no way being a GM on a creative, recreational community should be so stressful. But I can't put words in anyone's mouth.
The other got fed up. And I am telling you, in closing, that Sasail is not the only one. There are those of us with far less important status who don't like the atmosphere that is festering here. I do not know why those who perpetuate it would do so, I am simply asking that you stop. It may be dismissed, or laughed off, or whatever... but the writing on the wall is big and bold. We're scaring away our foundations, and it won't be too long before an overall collapse.
Mark my words, if things do not improve I cannot imagine there will be a pleasant little pocket of interwebz called CotH in any forseeable extended future. If the community has gone to hell, and the positives are growing slimmer and slimmer and the GMs cannot even do their jobs without harassment...then I'd like to see what is found to complain about, or who is found the insult, when there is nothing here.
At least I'd be able to take 'community' out of loose quotes. I'd rather do that by being able to say it without mentally drawing quotes around it... to say the word because yes, people are helpful and pleasant and generally well-meaning around here... but ditching the quotes because what 'community' there is has finally crumbled entirely and the site/server is gone will work just as well.
To end on a happy note, because I am usually known as relentlessly upbeat, I feel sincerely as though it is well within our collective power to find the good again ^.^. I imagine in a month's time, or weeks even, a newcomer might stumble across this post and wonder what Amy was going on about. That's good! If my upbeatery looks silly, rather than being an emergency floatation device on a sinking ship, then that means all is well.
Much love to you all, and let's try to bring some smiles and productive behaviors to the table. (And if someone can actually play the drums, I suppose you can bring those too.)
Luvvles,
~Amy T
![:]](https://www.conquestofthehorde.com/images/smilies/orc/orc2.gif ":]")
) it basically sums up the situation, but people will be people, it's nothing new to this server or any other one. It will die down eventually.
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